Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[griftalo]

Like, seriously, people are paying Jack more than broadband plus Netflix for sweet fa? How does that even work? How are there people with sooooo much dosh to burn??? Why don't they just marry her? It would be cheaper, and they'd own soooo many half sideboards.
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44 quid and I will tell you.

Does anybody else have a furrin bought phone that doesn't know what a pound sign is?!
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There was an explicable egg. I can tell you that for free.
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I still don't understand where my hat is. Surely the hats haven't been taken away after a mere few hours??? I was here this morn - no hats. I'm here this eve - mentions of hats. But, I see no hats. It's 31st ffs. Return the hats, mods, even if only for the next 78 mins.

I see your hat

 

[Tarragon]

SUE, Jack, SUE!
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How can you run out of milk on Christmas Day ffs?! You’d think that forensic mind would have all foodstuffs covered. Useless bint.

My Scottishness is offended!

 

[RandomFishOils]

SUE, Jack, SUE!
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Looks like a cross between the Westgate Run in Wakefield on a Sunday morning and a vajazzle.

 

[I'm not actually here]

I see your hat

Pls send me a pics. Turned it off and on again, but I spy zero hat. Gutted.
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How can you run out of milk on Christmas Day ffs?! You’d think that forensic mind would have all foodstuffs covered. Useless bint.

My Scottishness is offended!

It was delivered to the wrong address?

 

[griftalo]

Pls send me a pics. Turned it off and on again, but I spy zero hat. Gutted.
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It was delivered to the wrong address?

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Just because my cat won't wear the hat.
£7350.00 . Nice kettle Jack. Still got it?
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Eta, its a pilot's navigator watch. Wonder if it was about RAF bro. Its far too big for many. The lug to lug measurements hang over a small wrist. Which I why you can see the weight of the watch slipped on to the table. Such a performative wanker.

What you have to remember, Mmmchops, is that Southend has its own airport, and there aren't any roundabouts in the sky. Jack may also have won an award as a child for her skills as a [pity] pilot. Perhaps another book token to add to the perilously high pile of small accolades.

 

[I'm not actually here]

SUE, Jack, SUE!
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Is that horse gunk?
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What are the two little eyes under the hat on my Av?????????? Panicking now. Lol
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I’m bored. I never in a million years thought I’d be awaiting her return. We need slop.

I can tell you about my All Day Breakfast Porridge....

It was a dark and Stormy night....

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Is that horse gunk?
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What are the two little eyes under the hat on my Av?????????? Panicking now. Lol

Looks like a possessed koala bear to me. You would be if you had to eat rinsed spaghetti with cheese when anything other than eucalyptus is end game for your constitution.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I think you can "opt out" of hats in your account settings... But why would anyone do that!!!??

I think during the royal events the hats were crowns so some people wanted to opt out then, which is fair enough. I will never opt out of any hat adorning the vase bum index.

 

[I'm not actually here]

OK. Let's have it.

Your Top 5 options for where Guest is:
Mine.
1. Jail
2. Rehab
3. Abducted by aliens
4. Lost in wilkos
5. Searching for the sides of the sea on Sarfend Beach

 

[griftalo]

OK. Let's have it.

Your Top 5 options for where Guest is:
Mine.
1. Jail
2. Rehab
3. Abducted by aliens
4. Lost in wilkos
5. Searching for the sides of the sea on Sarfend Beach

1. Sucked up her own mole
2. The bahamas
3. Fell down a sewer
4. Sponging off someone in their home
5. Having turkeyteef done

 

[I'm not actually here]

1. Sucked up her own mole
2. The bahamas
3. Fell down a sewer
4. Sponging off someone in their home
5. Having turkeyteef done

3. Mediterranean a didn't stop her?!

 

[Limey]

SUE, Jack, SUE!
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Lads, I've been sick, maybe the threads showing Guset's 'porridge' bowls are not the place for me. Send Peptobismol-oes.

 

[StringyMango]

Been BUSY with Horticulture and Halloween today meine Frauen.
Hats are a treat even though mine hovers above Kewpie's head.
I'm EXHAUSTED. Can't believe it was 2021 with the Wilko Cerberus/Squid game/Pitsea market malarkey
@MaineCoonMama
Glad to see you back in the usual avatar tenderstem.
Happy All Saints Day tomorrow!
Stringy.

 

[griftalo]

Lads, I've been sick, maybe the threads showing Guset's 'porridge' bowls are not the place for me. Send Peptobismol-oes.

I was thinking I might be sick earlier - is it a bug? I found some motilium I got prescribed a ridiculously long time ago and took one, it seems to have done the trick.
Being sick is rotten, I hope you feel better soon. I find something sour to drink can help feel a bit better like a bit of lime juice or cider vinegar in water.

 

[Limey]

I was thinking I might be sick earlier - is it a bug? I found some motilium I got prescribed a ridiculously long time ago and took one, it seems to have done the trick.
Being sick is rotten, I hope you feel better soon. I find something sour to drink can help feel a bit better like a bit of lime juice or cider vinegar in water.

No, I've had The Vid and it is lingering like a b. Fewmin.

 

[griftalo]

3. Mediterranean a didn't stop her?!

I have actually seen someone much larger than guest get sucked under a (slowly) moving train and this “story” of hers is triggering and at best just bleeping lies. No anger directed at you btw I just bleeping dislike her bull.
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No, I've had The Vid and it is lingering like a b. Fewmin.

Shitloads of vitamin d3 with k2, zinc, iron and vit c really helped me. And b vitamins! They’re useful for nausea in pregnancy and good for energy otherwise. I t reckon it just hugely depletes your body of anything good. When I had it I was starting to think I actually had some illness that I would die from ( it was just before Covid was announced) then I started my vitamins at week ten and recovered fairly fast after that. I went from crawling upstairs to being able to walk and not lie down at the top.

 

[Limey]

I have actually seen someone much larger than guest get sucked under a (slowly) moving train and this “story” of hers is triggering and at best just bleeping lies. No anger directed at you btw I just bleeping dislike her bull.
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Shitloads of vitamin d3 with k2, zinc, iron and vit c really helped me. And b vitamins! They’re useful for nausea in pregnancy and good for energy otherwise. I t reckon it just hugely depletes your body of anything good. When I had it I was starting to think I actually had some illness that I would die from ( it was just before Covid was announced) then I started my vitamins at week ten and recovered fairly fast after that. I went from crawling upstairs to being able to walk and not lie down at the top.

Cheers Pal, appreciate it.

 

[I'm not actually here]

I have actually seen someone much larger than guest get sucked under a (slowly) moving train and this “story” of hers is triggering and at best just bleeping lies. No anger directed at you btw I just bleeping dislike her bull.
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Shitloads of vitamin d3 with k2, zinc, iron and vit c really helped me. And b vitamins! They’re useful for nausea in pregnancy and good for energy otherwise. I t reckon it just hugely depletes your body of anything good. When I had it I was starting to think I actually had some illness that I would die from ( it was just before Covid was announced) then I started my vitamins at week ten and recovered fairly fast after that. I went from crawling upstairs to being able to walk and not lie down at the top.

Lemons, honey, ginger. HCQ. Rice and bananas for calming stomach if sick. And stick 2 fingers up at it. And Jack, to stay on topic.

Happy day of the dead, all.

 

[BeardyBap]

How can you run out of milk on Christmas Day ffs?! You’d think that forensic mind would have all foodstuffs covered. Useless bint.

My Scottishness is offended!

Not even Christmas Day, Tendergon. Christmas MORNING. Ran out of milk on Christmas MORNING - before breakfast! Like she has eight fridges, 78 varieties of tea, and more spices than Mr Schwartz, but wakes up on the 25th with only a splash of milk.
It's such a gobshite move that I suspect (and hang on to your hats here) it didn't bleeping happen.