Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

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Ah, j'adore ma chapeau!

Will Jack be able to resist posting a photo of herself in whatever spendy costume she bought this year?
 
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My cat in a hat. Ears like a bat Guests a twit. PS. Has she moved yet?
 
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There's a new series on BBC One called Time - about 3 women in prison. One's in for "fiddling the leccy". Made me think of Jack's tit advice e.g. just don't pay. It'll never be her that gets the consequences. It's people in proper bad situations.
 
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Any solar lantern tips forthcoming for pov Jack o'lanterns? Nope?
Will have to make do with the joy I get from my Sindy Doll profile picture sliding off her toilet and her hat going skewif. If I get a black eye shiner against the sink that's near the loo, then it's the hat's fault, if that's alright with you, pal?
 
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After becoming wise to grifty ways I wouldn't give a penny to someone I don't know personally now, although given that I'm on the bones of me a all the time no one's missing out anyway unless they covet my pot to piss in.

I really object to work asking me for some of my paltry pay too. How about your charity of the month is your workers some of whom are filling up on milky coffees and don't eat dinner towards payday.

While I'm on one big birthday bashes can duck off too. Have some bleepin consideration in this climate. I'd love bottomless brunch, drinks an a meal but I'd also love being able to get my asthma inhalers and to eat more than own brand beans on toast all month.

Re Guest's Sue Lee scam I reckon most donations would've come in straight after the announcement when the momentum is there and ppl give on immediate whim. She was all manic and made up with up with herself aswell tweeting that ppl were determined to make her a millionaire so that supports that view. I think she would've absolutely raked it in for a good few days.

is there a general thread about psychology of scammers, romance scammers, programmes about them etc. Just watched that Puppet Master thing on Netflix, I'm so fascinated how intelligent ppl get sucked it. Especially romance scams, victims usually successful professional women with lots of other relationship opportunities, not the stereotype of daft gullible emptyhead trying to get her dusty old crumpet buttered /
Yay, it’s Halloween, the one day a year Jack can force SB to knock on the neighbours doors and beg. Bet she eats his sweets. Oh, who am I kidding, he’ll be out with his siblings and Dad back at his actual home.

I’ve been on holiday with my family this past week, I saw a copy of GFFBD in the 20p bin at the charity shop at the seaside, where it was being appropriately ignored. I’d have DMd Jack to come snap it up but she’s still wild camping off grid so I couldn’t.

Anyway I await her return to X with a Billy bulls*** story about how Matthew Perry reached out to her in the midst of their sobriety battles and said ‘I’ll be there for you’. She loves fibbing about the recently departed, lower than a snakes tit that she is.
Hahaha good call. She must be itching to tell her own bull ever changing recovery story again. Perry's colon burst but I bet her left ventricle burst. And he begged her to do a cameo in Central Perk but she didn't want to overshadow and intimidate Jennifer Aniston. Provisionally titled The one with the honking twit.

Eta sorry appear to have somehow done a double post of a previous.
 
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My avatar looks bloody awesome in this hat.

Sad we won’t get an insightful pumpkin recipe from guest.
That is proper "I won't dance, don't ask me" vibes going on there 🤣 IYKYK
I thought my hat would look stupid but it's actually sitting quite nicely on top of the Ninny grave, so I am also satisfied 🎩🎩❤
 
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On Halloween, I'm just going down the Pumple Patch, anyone want anything?
 
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Coming from the past to say that Jack’s lasagne bull has angered me so much this morning that I need to put it right and make one PROPERLY and with no mince SEEPAGE.

Get in the bleeping bin. Again.
Your hat is 🧑‍🍳💋
 
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My cat in a hat. Ears like a bat Guests a twit. PS. Has she moved yet?
Your cats eyes look like they can see into my soul and know all my secrets.
In a sweet way, unlike Jack's shark eyes which are just blank and freaky.
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On Halloween, I'm just going down the Pumple Patch, anyone want anything?
Yeah, I'll have a punkin' with an unnecessary apostrophe please.
I'll have to pay you later, I'm skint right now.
 
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Just because my cat won't wear the hat.
£7350.00 . Nice kettle Jack. Still got it?
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Eta, its a pilot's navigator watch. Wonder if it was about RAF bro. Its far too big for many. The lug to lug measurements hang over a small wrist. Which I why you can see the weight of the watch slipped on to the table. Such a performative wanker.
 
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Sitting down to a cup of tea after taking the kids trick or treating. We were back to school today so we have to squeeze halloween fun in, but we have managed it. JACK never ever seems to do anything fun with her kid. She just sits on her med a and shows off all the unnecessary rubbish she buys for herself.
 
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I’m bored. I never in a million years thought I’d be awaiting her return. We need slop.
 
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Halloween, 2001 when Aunty Pat went to Cheryl's party as Bob The Builder but Dennis left her yellow hard hat on the bus 🙁

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I've got that tool belt tho, for actual tools instead of bleeping pasta sex whisks or whatever this head has rammed in there. Makes it feel a bit grubby now.

Anyhoo, can't stop and chat lads, I've a busy night ahead and am just about to pop a Meatloaf in the oven💋
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I know we are long, long past Jack as fish
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But I think I’ve just found the reason for her “singing” and why it’s so…unusual.
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Now we just need to find the primitive frog that farts out “poetry” and self-righteous pompous letters to THE NEWSPAPER to woo Sugarmamapapas.
 
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Increasingly convinced that my Christmas trifle needs a hat this year. How on earth will I explain that to the family?
I mean go for it but lungs all laughed up, ribs cracked, sides split - the NHS is overstretched as it is hun.
 
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