Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

She’s back on the hellsite, she’s just let some people into the Comments Club!

We mithered over this yesterday. It's more likely to be people reactivating after deleting, and not her following anyone new.

Until people who follow her can confirm that she's actually tweeting again, it's probably best to assume that she is off twitter.

 

[Lazarus]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute bleeping BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a bleeping drivellous melt.

 

[Day3TShirt]

On the way from A to B she stopped off in the all hours flail and flurry to “roast” some garlic. In a microwave.
View attachment 2537620

5 minute thing with Tom Cruise Dressing*, 60p

One afternoon in the all-hours flail-and-flurry that was this-glorious-top-secret-for-now-project, I emerged from my writing corner (apologies to Virginia Woolf for not managing an entire ‘room of …

cookingonabootstrap.com

Many times. Including here to make “aioli” when Leggy was still doing the whole “take your idiot plaything to work and inflict her on your employees” thing.
View attachment 2537630

Punkin’ Aioli

Last week at the restaurant, I spent what felt like most of a shift rescuing split things – joking on Twitter that I felt like a Relate counsellor for aioli and custard… And to be hones…

cookingonabootstrap.com

BOAK!
View attachment 2537646

I think that actually says “cat with fingers”, which puts an entirely new and sinister spin on SB’s dad’s pet breeding enterprise.

 

[House of Carbonara]

You can't copyright a recipe idea or list of ingredients, like horse gunk lasagne or baked bean kulfi or whatever. However, you can copyright the specific words you've written for describing the method.

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I think this explains a lot about some of Guest's recipes (the ones that look vaguely like recipes, not mixed slop concoctions like three tin tender). She copies them from various sources, then changes them to avoid plagiarism, but clearly doesn't check or test properly to see if they still make sense or work.

ETA the entire history of cooking is based on taking existing ideas, family recipes etc and doing it in your own way. Every so often there are real innovations, often driven by new technology or ingredients, or innovative techniques and hacks, but mostly it's all adaptation and evolution of what's gone before.

The last paragraph with big bells on, dear .
We all start from what we've tasted/seen/read about, and go from there. And we all experiment and adapt according to what ingredients and equipment we have, which is normal. What is not OK is stealing someone else's work, like a certain smol pov we know. Incidentally, I once found the exact same recipe (quantities and all) in a Delia Smith's book AND a James Martin's one. True!
However, messing with the real Carbonara recipe is a hanging offense. Just call it something else.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute bleeping BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a bleeping drivellous melt.
View attachment 2538825

What an absolutely bizarre thing to ask for! (Also, sorry your boyfriend is a simpleton, hun). Trying to flush her out with weird flavour combinations is a new flex...

Hey Guest - I was thinking you could make sardine porridge? Bf says it can't be done!

 

[RandomFishOils]

We mithered over this yesterday. It's more likely to be people reactivating after deleting, and not her following anyone new.

Until people who follow her can confirm that she's actually tweeting again, it's probably best to assume that she is off twitter.

It went up by 8 in one fell swoop, which seemed like too much of a coincidence. I can’t remember the last time her follower count went up at all (actually, I do, it was after Question Time back in the summer). But it’s dropped back again now, so as you were.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute bleeping BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a bleeping drivellous melt.
View attachment 2538825

Look up "bearnaise sauce", squig. You're asking about a bastardised bearnaise sauce.

 

[Florid Language]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute bleeping BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a bleeping drivellous melt.
View attachment 2538825

If I was a cynic (I am) this is carefully choreographed as part of the comeback. She's probably already made a tarragon egg custard to drop on the poor public and has primed some of her followers via DMs to write this guff so she can pretend that she's engaging with the squigs again and has been working hard on new slopz.
Lots of squigs asking if she's okay and where is she too.
We'll probably get another personal pity me essay about her fragility and ebil trollz very soon.
Rinse, repeat, flounce.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute bleeping BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a bleeping drivellous melt.
View attachment 2538825

Is it me or have incidences of people not knowing the difference between your and you’re gone up tenfold? It’s everywhere, one of my friends is a GP and doesn’t seem to know the difference. It’s like being punched in the face every time I see it.

 

[Mr Krabs]

What an absolutely bizarre thing to ask for! (Also, sorry your boyfriend is a simpleton, hun). Trying to flush her out with weird flavour combinations is a new flex...

Hey Guest - I was thinking you could make sardine porridge? Bf says it can't be done!

My husband reckons Jack can’t close her Patreon and get a job. Prove him wrong!

 

[Hold my beans]

I still can't believe Allegra let her play chef in her actual work kitchen. Honestly, as if you would.

I'm sure she had a very special little set up in the washing up area

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I think and its just my nerfarious canal mithering that she saw the high life with Leggy, ( was already rather spoiled) and carried it on after they had parted. In comes L with her big salary and due to her having credit up to her ample ( not so much) tatas, L offered to pay more than her half of the rent to help. ( they were going to get married after all and well im sure L could afford it. Then alont come covid and more and more of dickheads personailty shines through and L gives up and LEFT. This is my conspiracy theory, i should say one of them, as i have serveral

 

[Ablemabel]

I think and its just my nerfarious canal mithering that she saw the high life with Leggy, ( was already rather spoiled) and carried it on after they had parted. In comes L with her big salary and due to her having credit up to her ample ( not so much) tatas, L offered to pay more than her half of the rent to help. ( they were going to get married after all and well im sure L could afford it. Then alont come covid and more and more of dickheads personailty shines through and L gives up and LEFT. This is my conspiracy theory, i should say one of them, as i have serveral

clearly someone already with delusions and then gets a taster of the high life with someone else able to pick up the tab.

 

[YerDa]

I’m going to make Nadiya’s kulfi ice cream bars with raspberry and pistachios, and will feed back the results to the canal. Purely in the interests of science of course.

 

[rage naan]

Just because it’s so absolutely staggering, this is what Jack posted/what she pretended to look like on the day she became guest.
View attachment 2537452And this is what she ACTUALLY looked like that day
View attachment 2537453
And here courtesy of @CrackingOwlSanctuary is what she actually looked like on TV the next day vs what she posted. View attachment 2537457
it’s truly bewildering that she does this knowing she’s going to be seen in the wild immediately afterwards.

where can I buy earrings that go fuzzy one minute and solid the next, that's cool

 

[freya]

Hi canal. My shoulder/back has crumbled and the SBs refuse to help with the laundry. Send helpos. I have been trying to catch up whilst being on shift the last few days. Not with the SBs as that’s just life. I’m slightly worried whether she’s still alive or whether she’s binged herself to snow. Are we the only ones that worry about her or is she hiding out at big Dave’s?

Vlad is giving my ads for 6th form colleges. I’m well old. Again, send the bad back police please.
---

Not sure if this one's a piss-take

View attachment 2537819

My sibling couldn’t put a coin in the trolley. I never got on with Simon Price, either. Perv.

 

[nothanksbabes]

If I was a cynic (I am) this is carefully choreographed as part of the comeback. She's probably already made a tarragon egg custard to drop on the poor public and has primed some of her followers via DMs to write this guff so she can pretend that she's engaging with the squigs again and has been working hard on new slopz.
Lots of squigs asking if she's okay and where is she too.
We'll probably get another personal pity me essay about her fragility and ebil trollz very soon.
Rinse, repeat, flounce.

Ugh. I think this is spot on and that "ugh" is the sound I genuinely just made realising that no matter how calculated guest (and social media generally) is, my little straightforward brain can't comprehend the level of manipulation present in the most mundane of things.

 

[Hollaaa]

I still can't believe Allegra let her play chef in her actual work kitchen. Honestly, as if you would.

High five, @Cookiecookie
I love it when a canal member has an exasperated flashback à la Smoking Ben Affleck, but double love it when it's about the full absence of professionalism or people who should know better being grift enablers for No. Good. Reason.

 

[Kittypops]

Oooh, Vinted watchers, (paging @DinosaurSenior ) there's a further reduction on the Dead People Cant Riot top!
It's gone down another pound to £5... get in early for that special Christmas gift for a pal!

 

[pumbilical cord]

Oooh, Vinted watchers, (paging @DinosaurSenior ) there's a further reduction on the Dead People Cant Riot top!
It's gone down another pound to £5... get in early for that special Christmas gift for a pal!

I'd get it rammed up my a and 'dead people can't buy tit shirts' scrawled across my face.