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Marmalade Atkins

VIP Member
I'm a bit disappointed no one asked about the middle photo on the collage tbqhwy, so...

September 25th, 2020:
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('Nobody's going to see it' - we were still wearing masks)


At home:
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At the train station. Coat has been removed because IT'S FUCKING SEPTEMBER.
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Darvos

VIP Member
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When grifter turns on grifter. Has the possibility of a future £73 been assessed as less valuable than the damage by association? 🥺 Yesterday’s guest.

(ETA: I’ve muted breakfast telly so as not to hear guest’s mate Bragg go on with himself. Glanced up as the subs said ‘Thatcher’ but not ‘guest’. What a sad morning for the fetid smol. Good job she never sees a morning, really.)
 
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phoebuscartel

Well-known member
I chose this avatar specifically for how it would look in a Halloween hat and so I am posting to get my hat on

update, I am satisfied
 
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nothanksbabes

VIP Member
Google tells me I shouldn't use an air fryer to make soap, or put soap in an air fryer. Disappointments never cease.
 
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Foxvint

VIP Member
See also “SLEEPING ROUGH in a car park” from an exhibition by the same morally repugnant attention seeking artist. View attachment 2535718View attachment 2535729View attachment 2535735Sooo frikkin cute the pic’s there twice, and soooo kind of her brand new full time THE NEWSPAPER job (end feb) to give her this self-publicity
Came so close to it if A) local authorities would ever allow a mother and child to sleep on the streets and B) if she didn't have a loving family with a big house with spare bedrooms whose actual job and vocation was taking in kids in need.
 
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DisgruntledGoat

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I think those aren't quite comparisons though as both of those were through actual crowdfunders, no? I think people are far more likely to donate through gofundme and the others than they are to chuck money in someones personal paypal account.

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the squigs (including Russ himself) who said they were donating were expecting an actual crowdfunder to appear and then just didn't donate when it didn't. Did she make more than £1500? Possibly. But I don't think it's £20k levels personally - or her paypal would have been locked for potential money laundering (It was her personal paypal) and we'd have all been tweeted to a whine about that.
Even if this were the case, Jack has double the number of followers that Russ does and it’s evident from the frankly unhinged flying monkeys that a number of those are engaged in a parasocial relationship with her. We also know that plenty of people donated just to see Lee Anderson humiliated, not even because they like Jack. Let’s not underestimate how stupid, tribal and generous people can be.

Even if we do account for a level of scepticism, let’s say Jack made half of what Russ did in a day: that’s still £10k for doing absolutely nothing that she’s spunked at Cotswold Company or put up her nose. When you bump that across the year she pretended she was suing him with absolutely no intention to… I think £20k is a piss in a stream.
 
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Mr Jim

Well-known member
Ahahaha she's wearing half a polar bear in Sep in the southeast. Silly bint.

Whenever I see the sleeping rough post I think about how everything guest describes is freezing and/ or battered. I'm sure there's been a battered jacket for example but when I went looking for it I found THIS. I've never seen this before. Omg. It's from the holier than thou "I'm the most moral vegan" phase. Complete also with "scrawled" "promptly" and "resplendent" and also not really being a recipe but more of a serving suggestion 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢
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ETA oh god there's more. I hadn't read the actual recipe. Two pages to say "bake a beetroot as if it was a potato".
The all purpose " put it in soupsstewscurries", lots of popping things gently and carefully, bottled lemon. Also lol at "beertroot" #professionalwriter

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The non-vegans amongst us can use white beans rather than coconut yoghurt? WTF? What animal do white beans come from???
 
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Five hundred dogs

VIP Member
I don't like beetroot, and I really don't think adding "cheese, beans or chilli" would tempt me. Her idea of flavour combining is just - terrible.

And all that about adding tzatziki, or cottage cheese, or white beans - those things are not equivalents! Except for all being white.
All white foods are interchangeable. You could also add Milky Bar, panna cotta or Mr Whippy.
 
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Valiofthedolls

VIP Member
Which box is the ride-on gun in?
Lol just noticed it’s sat there in the back of Serendipity amongst the RECOMMENDED sausage sandwiches!
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How about a side of heavy artillery with your tiny pancakes, sir?
 
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MavisBeacon

VIP Member
Fuck's sake. I love Ottolenghi but this is credulous logrolling nonsense. It doesn't even look nice.

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And yet again, the entire recipe is a hot sloppy mess from end to end.

(Serves 4) 78p a portion
300g rice, 12p
1 tbsp oil, 3p
1 onion, diced, 11p
1 tsp cumin, 5p
1 tsp paprika, 5p
1 vegetable or chicken stock cube, crumbled 2p
4 white fish fillets, £1.68
200g tinned mandarin segments, 27p
400g chopped tomatoes, 35p
Handful of sultanas, 6p
Few sprigs of mint or coriander, 8p
150g spinach, 23p

Put the rice on to cook. HELPFUL. Any instructions as to how to do this? How long to cook for?

Warm the oil over a medium heat and saute the onions in the spices and stock for a few minutes. Stock? What stock? I only see a stock cube in the ingredients. Do you make up the stock cube in water? If so, how much. And if you're adding stock, you're not sauteeing the onions, are you? "What does sauté mean? The word is culinary-speak for browning or cooking a food quickly over fairly high heat, using a small amount of fat in a wide, shallow pan"

When the onions start to soften, add the fish and pour the mandarins, their juice and the chopped tomatoes over the top. Add the sultanas, chopped herbs and spinach, and bring to the boil for a minute. Why put the spinach and fresh herbs in at this stage? It only needs a minute or two to wilt. And why put the fish on the bottom??? Why boil it for a minute?

Reduce to a vigorous simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally to stop the sauce from sticking to the pan. Fuck sake. Boiling white fish and spinach for 15 minutes? Vile.

Meanwhile, check the rice is cooked and remove from the heat. HELPFUL. At least it's a decent sized portion per person.

Break the fish into chunks and stir through before serving over the rice. Not a tagine. Not even close. Just fishy slop.
 

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MavisBeacon

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All this sticking everything in a blender rather than cooking it , onions, garlic, Béchamel bloody sauce. She has no frigging idea.
It's like a child's idea of cooking. She has no idea of the purpose of ingredients or how to get the best out of them, or the chemistry of cooking.
Just astonishing that she's made it this far as a 'food writer' and 'cook' when she really is a two bit baked bean blogger who lucked out at the right time with a fictional pov story, a cute baby and an arsenal of shit recipes that nobody had the courage to question, because they assumed that the poor liked that kind of thing and didn't deserve any better.
 
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Chriiiiiiist that looks a fash nana paradise.

The café has a 4.8* on Google reviews so I presume Jack has no involvement in the day to day running of the kitchen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Big Dave has her on the payroll in some capacity. Saviour of the Poors consulting on a space filled with union jacks and poppy shaggers.
Google reviews lets customers submit photos. Could guest produce this?

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No. She could not.

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Powershower

VIP Member
Lads, I’ve been MIA

Another house move 🍉 and a wedding later, I come to you with these questions:

has she moved house yet?
has she sent out her patreon postcards yet?
Where’s the granola recipe?
 
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Valiofthedolls

VIP Member
Warm the oil over a medium heat and saute the onions in the spices and stock for a few minutes. Stock? What stock? I only see a stock cube in the ingredients. Do you make up the stock cube in water? If so, how much. And if you're adding stock, you're not sauteeing the onions, are you? "What does sauté mean? The word is culinary-speak for browning or cooking a food quickly over fairly high heat, using a small amount of fat in a wide, shallow pan"
Oh Mavis, how could you?! Don’t you know Jack was HORRIBLY LAUGHED AT for mispronouncing that word!
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And fuck knows what dipshit thinks she’s describing instead of the TRAUMATIC WORD, but it’s definitely not sautéeing. Fucking charlatan.

(From March 2022 captured by @kachoochoo with a nice jealous SPITE dig at Ol Cordon Bleu-trained Leggy too). Lol and for “my friends” read: Harold’s family because I glommed onto his Mother’s birthday weekend trip, made it all about me and posted it all over my socials pretending I was scampering adorably around with my REAL LIFE FRIENDS.
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I’m so glad she’s silent. She’s fucking UNBEARABLE. I hope she stays quiet and out of the public eye and stops attention seeking online for EVER.
 
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DisgruntledGoat

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Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute fucking BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a fucking drivellous melt.
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Is it me or have incidences of people not knowing the difference between your and you’re gone up tenfold? It’s everywhere, one of my friends is a GP and doesn’t seem to know the difference. It’s like being punched in the face every time I see it.
 
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GazpachoPolice

Well-known member
All this sticking everything in a blender rather than cooking it , onions, garlic, Béchamel bloody sauce. She has no frigging idea.
I’m still baffled by the idea that she seems to think the povs don’t have air fryers or tin openers but do have blenders.
 
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