Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[MancBee]

My hat is more like a fascinator. It could do with being a size or two up. Though I do look as cute as a shiny button, I might never take it off.

Thinking about that for a minute. Jack went into the HoP and an MP recognised her hat because she wore it so often. Jack said she loved her pigskin hat so much she bought a selection. She said she might never take her hat off.

Has anyone seen Jack in a hat since then? No I thought not. Anther pile of expensive tat cluttering up the place. Money to burn, that one.

 

[Kittypops]

Lolz
And also, when you have to take a photo in public without anyone that you're with wondering why because it would take too long to explain

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I made a nice collage of Jack rocking a scarf x

View attachment 2535580

Fucking hell Marm that’s a new one on me.

It’s giving me a U2-Themed X Factor second week of live shows sort of vibe where a first choice pic did something naughty and got kicked off, and they’ve been forced to bring back the most annoying reject from judges’ houses to make up the numbers.

Refusing to make the most of this opportunity, she insists on alienating the entire viewing audience with her “interesting” bonding with Louis Walsh cos of her Irish ancestry, and her John Lewis Christmas-ad style honking mashup of the entire Unforgettable Fire/Joshua Tree/Rattle and Hum albums in 2 mins 20 seconds (interspersed with 5 mins of crushingly low self esteemed chit chat about herself).

ETA congratulations, Jack. I didn’t think it possible but it’s literally just dawned on me that there IS a bigger cunt than Bono in the world.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Happy 10th anniversary to Fish and Tinned Mandarin Tagine!

I think their definition of “packed with vegetables” is a tad different from mine

And over on her blog Jack’s pasting and posting evidence that everyone clapped and cheered.

Fish tagine.

This week’s Guardian recipe was one o my home favourites, fish tagine. I make this in a big batch and freeze it in portions, the flavours develop beautifully when frozen. For the full recipe,…

cookingonabootstrap.com

Spoiler: Not on the Guardian tho 😬…

Spoiler: ETA: Bad SLOP. Warned 🤢

Still think I’d eat the “tagine” before this dried up cat sick on mushy looking green pasta worms served on her tiny pov plate from the week before tho. Sorry, “creamy” spaghetti and “crunchy” breadcrumbs.

 

[GladysMcHaggis]

Hi Fraus! I've been MIA as life is Not even grunked, sorry to say.
However couldn't resist sharing this YT video i stumbled across. A SlongAlong hero in the wild if you will. View from 8.55 onwards:

 

[BeardyBap]

I've noticed my little solar stake lights in the garden aren't getting much of a charge in this weather & the shorter, darker days. They've only been coming on for about an hour after dusk this week. Admittedly they were only £2 for five, end of season clearance, but if you were buying them to save money on electricity you wouldn't want to spend any more, would you? Really made me think. In the dark.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Was just looking for some nice anniversary slops and noticed this. LJC why does she lie about everything?

Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT!

You can, and you know you can because you already have, you daft twat.

FFS! 2013

2018

Also 2013: Chuck them in the toaster!

2018: I’ve never tried chucking them in the toaster, so definitely don’t do that!

Fucking charlatan

Also, why was it acceptable to say POP TARTS in 2013,

But by 2018 it had become a swear?

STUPID CUNT (2013 style). Stupid C*nt (2018 style)

 

[Flivver]

To quote Shoestring video woman -

‘I’m not going to lie but this is the oddest recipe I’ve ever read…’

Well, quite Shoestring woman. Welcome to the Monroe Slop. Inedible and wasteful - again, why is she feted as the saviour of the poor as she just cannot cook!!!!

 

[Seaford Haggington]

See also “SLEEPING ROUGH in a car park” from an exhibition by the same morally repugnant attention seeking artist. View attachment 2535718View attachment 2535729View attachment 2535735Sooo frikkin cute the pic’s there twice, and soooo kind of her brand new full time THE NEWSPAPER job (end feb) to give her this self-publicity

This is a vile and manipulative piece of writing. Textbook guest, centering herself in the story. She's supposed to be writing about homelessness but ends up writing lies about herself.

 

[BeardyBap]

Firstly, I'm convinced that every single person working in Serendipity is better qualified to prepare & serve food than guest is.
Secondly, can you imagine the sinking feeling the staff suffer when she walks in? "When I worked in Blackfoot/on the telly/in collabs with big name brands..."
Alright, give it a rest Uncle Albert, you're known for begging on the internet these days.

 

[Mr Krabs]

It’s also a year since she walked to Asda, pretended the Vienetta shelf was empty and then pretended to have found a stray mint Vienetta at the back of the freezer.

What a strange glorious life of adventure.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

That makes even less sense than expected.

 

[Foxvint]

Hopkins is foul but if she has an axe to grind over jack and sticks to all the non-libellous factual issues with her, I doubt I'll be a big enough person to not find that very entertaining. A Hobsons choice of twats.

The libel case ballooned Jack's ego in an ugly way. She was peacocking and preening and seemed to think she won because she's the better person and not simply because she was accused of something completely untrue. That decision was the origin of her billy big bollox Oi Mark Mate/ive got a 100% track record shouts. It also gave her the leverage to pretend that anyone with an issue with her was just a right-wing reactionary on Hopkins side. It built up her ivory tower so high there was nothing for it but to crumble.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Spoiler: Happy Halloweeeeeeeeen 🎃(GRIM)

ss from @colouredlines Boilersuit from DEAD Grandad. Unnecessary attention-seeking grimness, model’s own.

 

[MavisBeacon]

so did the slopalong. Jack could argue the woman only tested one recipe, but if you look at the slopalong, i'd say 98% of what we made was rank, inedible or worse.

I was genuinely shocked by how bad the slopalong results were. If you're aiming your recipes at the people who have the least to spare, you have a moral responsibility to make sure they work and don't require a lot of additional knowledge/skill/ingredients to make something vaguely edible. We made a bread, which took almost twice as much flour as specified, had unnecessary ingredients and a confusing method (self raising flour AND yeast??) and took much longer to bake than it should as it was huge. And after all that it just wasn't very nice and made me feel vaguely ill to eat it.

She's a charlatan who can't cook for shit and has been endlessly enabled by the sycophants around her.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Tedious Asshat Russ in Cheshire is wanging on that he reported all the salient facts about the pandemic on his twitter, so why didn’t the Government and Media report accurately? OK Russ go apply for a job on Northwest Tonight then, Mr MainCharacter.

Anyway, my point being, all the twitter asshats are wetting their digital pants over the C19 enquiry. There was even mention of Boris rejecting “Marcus Rashford’s Free School Meals” request as a waste of cash. How the hell Guset is staying off the Xitter is really a mystery. This should be like snowy catnip to her.

 

[Powershower]

Get the airfryer on so you can make the delivery drivers a cuppa

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Oh my sweet Lord. Now Martinmate has a problem with airfryers.
I bet he didn't even use pythagoras theorem either, the fucking amateur.

Their much anticipated charidee games night is OFF lads, I repeat OFF.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I thought she said it was shit in a kinder way than we would but I think she knew it was rubbish, she mentions it isn’t cheap too. I liked her though, I’d rather watch her cook than guest.

Just watched it
Omg poor nice lady. She was trying her best not to be utterly damning. But her obvious confusion and puzzlement was quite hilarious. How the fuck can guest foist recipes on people with no fucking seasoning? And no idea about cooking onions? And why would you rinse the beef? It's so obvious that having just wine as the liquid it would taste so bloody tart. I know we've all said it a million times but she just cannot cook can she? People in the comments trying to be charitable saying maybe guest doesn't mention seasoning as foodbank users might not have any. But they'll have wine?
Andy Lynes put it so well when he said her USP seems to be taking a decent recipe and putting her own twist on it which is always worse
I loved the plaintive 'it's edible' from the woman's husband

 

[houseofhoop]

So turns out big Daddy D’s heritage project is open. I can’t decide whether Mam E popping up randomly to shamelessly promote the cafe and the sausagne sausage sandwiches means that Jack is or is not slinging slop there

View attachment 2552364
Notice that while she “went there” and “recommends” them, at no point does she say she’s actually eaten one, or what they taste like.

A (married) LADY DOCTOR visited the project! This family doesn’t half encounter a lot of LADY doctors, (married) LADY farmers and LADY solicitors etc etc. You’d think by this point they’d be so used to LADIES doing all sorts of jobs that they wouldn’t need to incessantly stress that they’re LADIES.
View attachment 2552390

Spoiler: Mither

I know this is a thread about Jack not ma and pa but I couldn’t help laughing at Pa at a few scant DVDs boxes. He must go into raptures when he’s gazing upon Jack’s performative packing boxes.

View attachment 2552401View attachment 2552403

That (Mrs) feels so patronising