Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[Valiofthedolls]

Foul. All of it. Sweaty microwave garlic and multiple ways to produce mouldy looking bread. She shouldn't be allowed to touch spinach either.

Poor bastards getting that as “gifts”

 

[nothanksbabes]

Going back to the Sue Lee scam.
I missed most of it because guest wasn't on my radar back then. I did get the general gist of what was going on because of trending on Twitter and accounts that I follow talking about it.
Did she have a lot of blue tick celebs behind her and retweeting her?
Seeing the amount she said she'd given to charity made me think how tight fisted these celebs are if it was only £1,500.
All mouth and trazzers or did they actually donate?
If any of these blue tick celebs chucked a couple of hundred quid her way she'd soon have reached a grand and a half. That's before hundreds of squigs very vocally and publicly chipped in with their donations in the first couple of hours.
It still stinks to high heaven.

She still needs to be held to account for this.

My friend recently did a crowd funder for her cat's surgery after she exceeded the limit on her insurance. She's really lovely, and puts on gigs in the local area (my friend, not her cat), so she has a couple of thousand followers, but hundreds of thousands less than Jack.

Within the day she'd got to about two grand. There's no way Jack didn't raise a small fucking fortune for that grift which went on for a year, was backed by blue tickers, featured in the press and was shared with her half a million followers.

We need to keep bringing it up because it's absolutely atrocious she's been allowed to get away with it. She's a fucking thief.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Just because it’s so absolutely staggering, this is what Jack posted/what she pretended to look like on the day she became guest.

And this is what she ACTUALLY looked like that day

And here courtesy of @CrackingOwlSanctuary is what she actually looked like on TV the next day vs what she posted.

it’s truly bewildering that she does this knowing she’s going to be seen in the wild immediately afterwards.

 

[MurielSnark]

Hi all - apologies for the delay/missing last month, life ey! Behind a cut as always:

Spoiler: ✂✂✂✂

Firstly: would like to confirm that the Patreon tracker project has always taken the value for paying subscribers + always will, and have updated the opening subs column title to reflect this. No excuses 4 u Jacqui!

Patreon have made some fairly sizeable changes to their offering and appear to be transitioning into more of a social networking type proposition? So you can follow your favourite creators without paying as well as the old model which was just paid subscriptions, I think the idea of this being those creators can provide some freebies to try and convert followers into paying subs. This will benefit creators (who bother lol) because it's so much easier to upgrade someone in platform than to move people from Twitter/Insta/mailing lists -> Patreon, so I do suspect there will be an associated increase in platform fees at some point to reflect this value add lol - if anyone has any tea on that pls do share. BUT there is a very clear distinction between the two user counts (#noexcuses).

This + other changes to Patreon's T&Cs were communicated to members in an email 05/10/2023 (I say as a paying Patreon customer - not for Jack's scam, for actual content creators). I'm going to guess that this is why we've seen increased churn of -5.7% (the highest since June 2023 where we saw -6.1% MoM). Now onto the scam of a century highlights:

Jack Monroe had 333 paying Patreon subscribers as of November 2023, taking home an estimated £4.1k from the grift. This is +40% higher than the pre-Nigella follower count of 244, and is the 22nd month of benefitting from the platform Nigella gave the grift. Although we are finally under the since-records-began subscriber count of 346, but as you can see from that... it took 12 months to go from 346 -> 244 subscribers, so the grift really will be going on for years and years and years.

View attachment 2546792

Thank you for this @heretoreaditall2019. Your hard work is appreciated and so valuable in keeping an updated record of the grift.

It's bloody infuriating that Jack continues to earn all this dough for doing sweet fuck all. I've never earned £4k/month in over 20 years of pretty hard graft in actual jobs.

I really hope she's as miserable and bitter as Ms Havisham, hiding out in her bungamansion with no friends visiting and nothing to do except watch her income shrivelling away while her former luvvy mates carry on living their affluent and spendthrift lives, not giving her a second thought. I hope she's shitting herself about her future prospects and lives in constant fear of the bizzies or the tax people catching up with her. She deserves every moment of it.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

What's a poppy shagger?

At the expense of making a stupid joke about Jack’s hideous reply to a kid, I realize I didn’t actually answer you.

24 year old Jack’s conniptions on her blog that the lazy fucker then republished as her column in THE NEWSPAPER sum it up perfectly.

Blog

Poppyright.

One thing I've noticed this year, is a distinct lack of red paper poppies pinned to the lapels of the general public. I'm sitting in a coffee shop at the moment, with a quick head count of 27 other...

web.archive.org

THE NEWSPAPER

It REALLY GETS HER GOAT

It’s forever fucking bonkers to me that any 24 year old ever was coming out with shit like this. Not just the subject, the insufferable self righteous pomposity. It’s truly, truly bizarre.

It’s no wonder 2.5 years later she was terrified of all those young flappers bobbing their hair and flashing their BARE legs while sipping bathtub gin out of flasks stuffed in their garter belts in Glastonbury’s Infamous Charleston Tent.

 

[SharkAttack]

Haven’t been on this thread for a while as was bored of guest’s inactivity, but I follow Leggy and couldn’t help but screenshot this absolute jewel today.

Was it Leggy who set guest off on the path that led to dead dog breakfast bowl?

(It’s Halloween porridge, apparently )

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wtf is this combo?

View attachment 2535680

Oh fucking hell I can do that one! that’s when she lived RENT FREE in her mate’s lovely house (that mate was selling) at the end of 2013 (after inveigling herself into Popo fiancées place for 3-4 months before this) and this wannabe winsome whey faced insufferable attention seeking spoiled pampered cunt did a fake pov post about BRRRRR cold houses with BIG WINDOWS and BARE FLOORS where she treated us to her frankly repulsive laundry habits.

My tips for keeping warm in winter: from a veteran of freezing houses, wooden floors and big windows.

I’ve had a lot of posts and questions from people recently asking about keeping warm in the winter, and having just dug out my annual (what I call my) ‘survival kit’, I thought I&…

cookingonabootstrap.com

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I asked Google Image Search to show me a selection of pictures of guest in a hat.

Amused it included this:

 

[BeardyBap]

Has anyone been watching the drama unfold on Twitter over the weekend? A struggling mum posts video of Aldi manager treating her horrendously at the till & refusing to serve. Video goes viral, picked up by left wing academics etc. A hefty donation goes in from the Problematic Plumber. A "buy me a ko-fi" link appears. After she raised (she says) £700 yesterday, a JM Usual Suspect pops up to identify her as a serial gofundme/PayPal/Kofi for "need new cooker/uniforms/kids shoes" & claims to have reported to DWP. Ko-fi link gone, all previous fundraisers deleted, text of message she has sent to DWP in her own defence posted. She appears to be well versed in all the rules of declaring "charitable gifts" etc.
I hope Jack is watching, because you know what?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Whilst she’s quiet lads, I do think it’s fair we give ourselves a Pat on the back for the slopalong. Whether you think she‘s a fantasist narc grifter or not, you can’t argue with the fact the recipes don’t work as written, don’t help anyone and waste time, fuel and food.

 

[FourSeasonSoupObsessive]

Hi Fraus! I've been MIA as life is Not even grunked, sorry to say.
However couldn't resist sharing this YT video i stumbled across. A SlongAlong hero in the wild if you will. View from 8.55 onwards:

“it’s never going to be anything more than OK”

Great find, @GladysMcHaggis! I really enjoyed this proto-Frau‘s increasing bafflement at the nonsensical slop she was creating, and her eventual realisation that the only way to salvage it is to make an entirely different recipe. She still credits Jack, though, she thinks the inedibility results from some sort of oversight and seems quite happy to tweak it to make it palatable. I did much the same in about 2015.

You can come and sit with us, Frugal Frau, and we’ll let you in on a secret- all of Jack‘s recipes are miserable, tasteless slop because she can’t cook.

 

[Hollaaa]

Tell me you ruined your toaster without telling me etc etc...

She doesn't have a toaster!

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Is it me or have incidences of people not knowing the difference between your and you’re gone up tenfold? It’s everywhere, one of my friends is a GP and doesn’t seem to know the difference. It’s like being punched in the face every time I see it.

I feel the same with people who use ‘of’ instead of ‘have’.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It's pure Aunty Pat after a couple of Proseccos at the Christmas party.

Spoiler: Pat Wishes it Could be Christmas Every Day

Here she posing for the annual team photo after a few too many glasses of “fizz” and Harveys Bristol Creams at the lunch.

and having organized it every year since 1974, here she is about to announce the winner of the meat raffle. She’s doing it “Oscars style” this time, for a bit of “pizzazz”

 

[Valiofthedolls]

So turns out big Daddy D’s heritage project is open. I can’t decide whether Mam E popping up randomly to shamelessly promote the cafe and the sausagne sausage sandwiches means that Jack is or is not slinging slop there

Notice that while she “went there” and “recommends” them, at no point does she say she’s actually eaten one, or what they taste like.

A (married) LADY DOCTOR visited the project! This family doesn’t half encounter a lot of LADY doctors, (married) LADY farmers and LADY solicitors etc etc. You’d think by this point they’d be so used to LADIES doing all sorts of jobs that they wouldn’t need to incessantly stress that they’re LADIES.

Spoiler: Mither

I know this is a thread about Jack not ma and pa but I couldn’t help laughing at Pa at a few scant DVDs boxes. He must go into raptures when he’s gazing upon Jack’s performative packing boxes.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Someone over on Facebook has posted they have cooked a gammon joint and don't know what to do with the rind. Couple of suggestions to put it out for the birds, or just crisp it up and eat it, then up pops a Jack wannabe with this. Every time I see a bizarre suggestion, I think of her!

 

[Cucumberthunder]

My view is that is there's no Christmas collab, even a little one, she's finished. There are so many other cheffy personalities coming through social media and things like bake off that whatever the brief, there will be someone better than Jack.

I suspect she's not doing much and is a little bit paralyzed about what she should do. Applying for jobs that are "beneath her" on the agenda yet, but jobs that her profile might help her with e.g. something with TT would need to be handled carefully as they/she will be wary of backlash and it might not be worth it. At the moment I'm guessing her income is enough to live off of, plus Currys will have covered her for a couple of months.

This time next year will be a different story and I'd be shitting myself if I were her.

 

[Lazarus]

Jack hasn’t posted on Instagram since May. Almost half a year ago. Some absolute fucking BORE has commented on her last post three weeks ago to ask her to cook an egg custard with tarragon. Something her boyfriend thinks can’t be done.
What has Jack done for food that makes these folk think she’s still interested, and why is she taking a discussion with her bf to Jack Monroe!? What a fucking drivellous melt.

 

[nothanksbabes]

She has many, many slow cookers. Here’s her triple one, beautifully displayed perched jauntily atop her £849 Westcote inky blue XL Cotswold sideboard, next to her £1,299 Westcote cream large Cotswold double larder and behind her £1,099 Oakland rustic oak 8-12 seater extending Cotswold dining table. View attachment 2537784Sometimes when it wants to get away from the slow cooker slop, the £1,099 dining table lives in here with her 3 MASSIVE £1,000+ Cotswold dressers and her £525 Oakland rustic oak Cotswold storage bench instead.
View attachment 2537797
That way, it never has to see her clambering onto the £599 Chester dove grey Cotswold sideboard in her knickies while its £699 counterpart looks on in horror from the background.
View attachment 2537804Or suffer the indignity of watching her have a shit like the £369 Chester dove grey Cotswold open shoe storage bench in the bogger
View attachment 2537811Or watch her romp with Burger Boy like the poor £249 Chester cream Cotswold tallboy in the bedroom
View attachment 2537821

Or being used to store tatty old wallpaper like the Chester £499 Cotswold wine console that’s sometimes opposite the massive American fridge and sometimes upstairs jammed to the gills with tat in her “craft/reading nook”
View attachment 2537809
Or store her manky old sofa bed-nest sheets like the £499 Westcote inky blue Cotswold console table View attachment 2537813OR (biggest indignity of ALL) be stuffed with books of Jack’s shit poetry and “songs” and have her sitting at you to write all her fucking inane musings, like the poor £800+ Chester cream writing bureau.
View attachment 2537827

She has so much stuff and so little taste. Imagine what she could have done with the money she's spaffed on all that.

Spoiler: Mither about furnishing a house...

I just redecorated the front room of my rented two-bed terrace (it's a lovely little house and my landlord is a babe who vastly undercharges me for rent, and paid his decorator to do the painting) for the princely sum of about £1400, which includes a new sofa, chair, TV cabinet, coffee table, rug, bookcase, big mirror, a few cushions and some prints. Finally, at the age of 38 (just) I have things in my house that I've chosen because I like them and not just because they fit, are available, I can afford them or someone has given me them. Because I have eyes and taste, it actually looks quite nice, and while I know my budget is out of many people's reach in a cost of living crisis, it boils my piss that Guest has had fucking thousands upon thousands of pounds through her fingers to fill her not insubstantial and not cheap house with expensive tat and still has the audacity to claim poverty. I fucking despise the lying, manipulative, poverty cos playing toad I really do.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Exciting, isn't it!
Have a Halloween blep from my (fake) black cat.

One year anniversary of the apology to patrons - I wonder how many postcards she's sent out so far...