Jack Monroe #54 Thank you so Matt much, Matt

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to the eminent @Brian Butterfield on the thread title! Winner with 46 reactions at last count


Thread recap for #53:

Jack Monroe is still on her self-imposed social media break. She has been silent, but it appears that when her eye is caught by something on Twitter, she ‘likes’ it. Nigella got noticed.

Her name was associated with Jamie Oliver again on Twitter (briefly), which she must have appreciated.

Some of the fraus found some absolute corkers in old videos and shared them on the the thread. The cabal reminisced fondly about the highs of Daily Kitchen Live, and some listed their favourite moments of those wonderful two weeks.

@JoyceDivision went on the ride of her life and experienced thread #31 for herself (the rest of us are still recovering).

Some screenshot / photoshop fun ensued. Lungs were laughed up and husbands were woken. It’s what Viv would have wanted.

 

[Mustard]

Onwards she goes.

 

[Pocahontas]

Here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’


One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

*Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT*

Also:

• She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
• She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
• Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  
  
• Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words, ‘She [Louisa] left’.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.

 

[Captainmouse]

No matter how many times I read all that, it still makes me laugh should we mention the hedgehog?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

So she’s owed £55k she’s helpless to reclaim yet Mark Lewis was able to make her £25k odd out of one tweet? Give over.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The receipt Thank you.

I knew I’d seen it somewhere, bobbing back and forwards reading here and Twitter I barely keep track, but it struck me that for someone who struggles by on the living wage, while doing 80-90 hours per week why would you not do something about that? And for such a long period of time too? Very strange

Seems like she did take action (I don't know the final outcome). I don't have the dates for the tweets but this one was from 2018:

The previous screenshot was, I think, 2019.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Thanks @Pocahontas, great recap as usual!

I posted screenshots (thread 41) of her saying:

View attachment 195426

I've somehow managed to copy this from the previous thread as I was replying just as it got closed.
Is Jack claiming to have bailiffs smash into her house in the past 3 and a half years? Because, bullshit.

 

[PoorPatrol]

How long until she does another bloody chaos??

 

[MooBelle]

Hi Fraus, been on a bit of a Grunka (*note my phone recognises Grunka!!!) as been poorly. Like @help i need some help! my black dog has returned and reading the last thread has actually made me giggle. Just wanted to send a cyber hug to you and anyone else a bit low at the moment xxxx

There is, somewhere in the internet, a clip from big cook little cook where little cook gets splattered with batter and is HILARIOUS because the way it is edited is, well dodgy. Ahem, cough, *horsespunk lasagne...

 

[lilamay]

How long until she does another bloody chaos??

The next full moon is due on August 3rd - my bet's on then!

 

[antisocialmedia]

Thanks @Pocahontas, great recap as usual!

I've somehow managed to copy this from the previous thread as I was replying just as it got closed.
Is Jack claiming to have bailiffs smash into her house in the past 3 and a half years? Because, bullshit.

Come on, you have to take everything she says with a tonne of salt, she talks utter shite

 

[Emmapism]

Hi Fraus, been on a bit of a Grunka (*note my phone recognises Grunka!!!) as been poorly. Like @help i need some help! my black dog has returned and reading the last thread has actually made me giggle. Just wanted to send a cyber hug to you and anyone else a bit low at the moment xxxx

There is, somewhere in the internet, a clip from big cook little cook where little cook gets splattered with batter and is HILARIOUS because the way it is edited is, well dodgy. Ahem, cough, *horsespunk lasagne...

This lockdown period has been terrible for my head. Reading here last night was the first thing to make me laugh in days.

I'm with you lady. Much love.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Thanks @Pocahontas, great recap as usual!

I've somehow managed to copy this from the previous thread as I was replying just as it got closed.
Is Jack claiming to have bailiffs smash into her house in the past 3 and a half years? Because, bullshit.

Don't summon her

 

[Veronicaaa]

Don't summon her

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I feel I can't take credit for this thread title so I would just like to say:

Thank you so Jack much, Jack

 

[Silver Linings]

Come on, you have to take everything she says with a tonne of salt, she talks utter shite

And plenty of black pepper.

 

[holliebollie]

UMMMMMM?!? She couldn’t find it in bulk in a chain, obviously.

 

[Irena]

Seems like she did take action (I don't know the final outcome). I don't have the dates for the tweets but this one was from 2018:

View attachment 195432

The previous screenshot was, I think, 2019.

So hang on, she’s saying £55,000 is just royalties?

Was this before or after the 100% success rate in court? Or perhaps the Agent settled?

Still got a cheeky Tip Jar begging bowl in there too, only because people have asked how to chip in though, obviously.

 

[MrsOgre]

I will embrace this quiet period and do some serious grunkering of the posts I missed last week. Can't remember where I'm up to but it's ok to be a chaos isn't it?

 

[Mustard]

Thanks @Pocahontas, great recap as usual!

I've somehow managed to copy this from the previous thread as I was replying just as it got closed.
Is Jack claiming to have bailiffs smash into her house in the past 3 and a half years? Because, bullshit.

Yes. Bailiffs cannot enter your house unless you let them in, or a door or window is open. They cannot smash their way in.