Jack Monroe #537 Moana Fleecer

[Foxvint]

Spoiler: Inappropriate sex realisations and Jack's food, long spoiler title

Jack's food reminds me of tit sex, where the person giving thereof is tit at their task, but yet, they've foisted their best upon you with their "creative capabilities". You're left thinking "eugh, that was tit, but it was all of their own doing. And you're supposed to eat it up, so to speak (sorry for the ick). They know its tit, they know they need to improve, but there's a steady supply of unsuspecting newcommers who dont yet know the disappointment that awaits. So they never have to try too hard. Ugh, sorry about this, I truly am

Spoiler: Sex talk

Remember those men we had to endure in the 90s who'd been schooled by Loaded/Maxim lads mags to do things like 'lick the alphabet'. By the time you detected the C you'd be calling a cab.

 

[griftalo]

Nah, she's not that cute. We have a few ponies trotting passed with a carriage and they are smart, beautiful animals who look amazing and well cared for.
Not in the same league as the gorgeous big lads that pull the horse drawn hearse carriages, with the big plumes.
Jack is too much of ato identify as a pony/horse. I mean I think I took better care of my hamster back In the day than she ever has for any guineas, bunnies, cats or dogs.
This is what I dislike her most for, the horrible animal abusing wee wick

Oh the big funeral horses. I love them but it’s always sad to see them. Round where I am it’s a very popular funeral choice and there are multiple funeral homes nearby so you see them often.

How she’s treated pets is disgraceful.

 

[Kittypops]

"I was reading my old copy of [...], as I so often do.... I wanted to [...] really research the history and philosophy of Indian cuisine, rather than just toasting spices, slow cooking onions...."

I'm sorry but whut?

If guest had even an inkling of insight into Indian cooking, she'd not be boiling onions or adding them to a cold pan without large. She wouldn't be using interchangeable, bland spice mixes from the Basics range in such small amounts as to be negligible. She'd know the difference between black and white pepper. She'd have knowledge of how to cook the multitudes of lentils and beans, with their different cooking times and approaches. She'd stop flinging random fruits into everything and she'd use a broader range of vegetables beyond tinned potatoes and the odd bit of spinach.

Also, you'd think she would credit Ms Panjabi and all the other cookbook writers she apparently devours for teaching her the foundations of their cuisines and giving her ideas for her own, unique (!!) interpretations of their recipes.

Grrrrrr, this smug arrogance is so infuriating.



View attachment 2402116

In newspaper parlance, "regular readers will know" means... don't question me on this, if you do, I'm going to tell you that you look stupid and ill informed.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Vlad is showing me ads for dishwasher detergent - in French. I'm sure that guest is fluent enough in French to read the original works of Voltaire and Moliere (= once saw an am dram production of Les Miz), but I'm not sure why he's targeting me...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Having seen that pic she posted of the attic(?) in the crappy bungalow I can believe this. Monica from friends crap room has nothing on Jack’s insane hoarding, I bet every single cupboard was stuffed, surface was covered and her bed was practically floating on a sea of rit.

Maybe that’s how she’ll reinvent herself, Jack the queen of hoarding.

For anyone who hasn’t seen it before, Jack’s crap: a not-remotely-exhaustive selection

Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

In a terrible frame of mind and then I see that Jack is back... that is not going to help. Anyhoo, in the latest edition of 'make it make sense' , on what bleeping planet can she lecture Annunziata Rees Mogg about poor people being too depressed etc to batch cook, and then suggest that the...

tattle.life

 

[Kittypops]

View attachment 2402267
For anyone who hasn’t seen it before, Jack’s crap: a not-remotely-exhaustive selection

Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

In a terrible frame of mind and then I see that Jack is back... that is not going to help. Anyhoo, in the latest edition of 'make it make sense' , on what bleeping planet can she lecture Annunziata Rees Mogg about poor people being too depressed etc to batch cook, and then suggest that the...

tattle.life

Ah, three big old John Lewis boxes amongst the mayhem there.
"Never knowingly underslopped"

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Shetland pony?

A Sh!tland poor me.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

It's nearly 6 am here and I've spent the last 2 hours lying awake thinking about how Jack's nose looks like Marcia Brady's did when she copped a football to the face in the classic Brady Bunch episode.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

It’s THE LANDLORD’S.
View attachment 2402059This is the place she had to move into after Leggy dumped her. She lives in a tiny cold damp shithole. With a grand piano in it.

Source, but beware, this journalist is a fuckwit Jack stan so it’s nauseating from start to finish. Full of Jack’s fictions too. Times, November 2015.

The transformation of Jack Monroe | The Times

archived 2 Oct 2021 06:08:50 UTC

archive.ph

Lol just noticed this for the first time ever. The journalist visited her flat and outed her second bedroom! She’s SUCH a bleeping liar

Spoiler

View attachment 2402078
The one bedroom two bedroom flat saga:
https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-496-guest-who.38832/post-14926247
Also, November 2015
View attachment 2402085Two months later though…(full ss at link above)
View attachment 2402090

a tiny cold damp shithole. With a grand piano in it. - THREAD TITLE NOMINATION

 

[FunnyFuneral]

peick

It's all hilarious but the 'Gordon Brown, texture like sun' quietly slipped in there is giving me eye wets from laughing. Chapeau, tendercat.

That is fantastic! I have seen the Stranglers live 3 times in the last 3 years and two of them have died during that time. I think there may be only 1 original (could be 2) left now. It's so cute to watch all the grey/ baldy heads bobbing up and down by the stage.
From a distance as I am always in the seats. Golden Brown is always played

 

[Kittypops]

I love it when @MaineCoonMama @Wooh And @Cookiecookie are waking up and the canal flows ever onwards.
A poignant moment there
Now duck off

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Oh the big funeral horses. I love them but it’s always sad to see them. Round where I am it’s a very popular funeral choice and there are multiple funeral homes nearby so you see them often.

How she’s treated pets is disgraceful.

They are the most gorgeous guys. So patient and well behaved, and always so well taken care of by the carriage masters, it's always a huge privilege to work with them.
I imagine Jack would have them tethered in a field by the ankle eating scrap and dandelions if she was looking after them, judging by the care of her previous pets

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Nah. I’m not a fan of the woo. They wouldn’t have me - besides, I have a job and pay my taxes like a responsible citizen. No grift for me.

Spoiler: Golden Brown

when Facebook was newish, the real GB sent me a friend request. For a few days I was privy to his personal FB - probably as we have Fife connections in common. As soon as he realised he didn’t actually know me, he unfriended me.

A very famous footballer from the 90s once sent me a friend's request. I didn't accept because not only did I not know him, but I didn't like his accent when I've seen him on TV.

I can't imagine why he thought I was someone he knew. So bizarre.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

LET'S WATCH THESE AGAIN WHILE WE STILL CAN.

QUICK, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

There is only one word to use about her musical talent and that is
TERRIBLE

 

[BeardyBap]

The Luton van thing is outrageous. We got our 3bed semi worth of stuff in ONE when we moved and we had considerably more people living there. So, it’s a lie, someone with zero spatial awareness loaded them, or it’s a lie.

The only way to make it make sense: the three vanloads and six of the carloads were taking hoarded junk to the tip.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

In other news on the hellsite, someone is defending guest and her treatment of the kitten.

 

[I'm not actually here]

I think @Livia Fantasy is onto something about the mass deletions probably being the work of an app, like when the judge told her off for deleting the tweets. I thought this might be the case the other day when one of @Marmalade Atkins's stats breakdowns showed -101, and I'm pretty sure that was the same number for a previous day too and it was mithered there might have been a glitch? The deletions also seem random - at first she was getting rid of a lot of selfies and keeping the slop, and now she's switched. I have no idea how these things work, but perhaps it's algorithm/engagement based and it's mass deleting whatever posts don't meet a certain threshold of likes/comments/views/general exposure? Guset and some PR folk might be in the background too, so they might pick up on some minging slop/claw hands being laughed at here and get rid, but on the whole my money is on a relatively cheap and not that sophisticated app-type thing. She won't invest the money to do it properly.

So yes, we absolutely should either save or amp up the views on anything we want to preserve!

BIB Reminder: archive not just screenshots.
---

I think @Livia Fantasy is onto something about the mass deletions probably being the work of an app, like when the judge told her off for deleting the tweets. I thought this might be the case the other day when one of @Marmalade Atkins's stats breakdowns showed -101, and I'm pretty sure that was the same number for a previous day too and it was mithered there might have been a glitch? The deletions also seem random - at first she was getting rid of a lot of selfies and keeping the slop, and now she's switched. I have no idea how these things work, but perhaps it's algorithm/engagement based and it's mass deleting whatever posts don't meet a certain threshold of likes/comments/views/general exposure? Guset and some PR folk might be in the background too, so they might pick up on some minging slop/claw hands being laughed at here and get rid, but on the whole my money is on a relatively cheap and not that sophisticated app-type thing. She won't invest the money to do it properly.

So yes, we absolutely should either save or amp up the views on anything we want to preserve!

She's too lazy to actually delete so uses some b0rked n crap app to do it for her? Idle mare. This is gonna be fun, again.

Her absence is never-endingly entertaining. Koko guset. This thread wouldn't be permantly on the Trending page if you weren't such an endless source of amusement. Cheers. <downs end of work wine in one! >

 

[WoolyMammoth]

The top one has a special place in my heaet

BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG

(pauses and looks puzzled like she’s trying to remember what she had for her breakfast)

BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG

All capped off with that hairdo. A real treat

I just sent this video to my OH (who may now be plotting to leave) .

He calmly closed the window after viewing it to the end. As he did, he said "if mediocrity had a theme tune" then pulled his YouTube screen back up and carried on watching that.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

"I was reading my old copy of [...], as I so often do.... I wanted to [...] really research the history and philosophy of Indian cuisine, rather than just toasting spices, slow cooking onions...."

I'm sorry but whut?

If guest had even an inkling of insight into Indian cooking, she'd not be boiling onions or adding them to a cold pan without large. She wouldn't be using interchangeable, bland spice mixes from the Basics range in such small amounts as to be negligible. She'd know the difference between black and white pepper. She'd have knowledge of how to cook the multitudes of lentils and beans, with their different cooking times and approaches. She'd stop flinging random fruits into everything and she'd use a broader range of vegetables beyond tinned potatoes and the odd bit of spinach.

Also, you'd think she would credit Ms Panjabi and all the other cookbook writers she apparently devours for teaching her the foundations of their cuisines and giving her ideas for her own, unique (!!) interpretations of their recipes.

Grrrrrr, this smug arrogance is so infuriating.



View attachment 2402116

I have often read the Delia Smith Complete Cookery Course that I got from a book club in the early 80s, like a novel. It's so well written, comprehensive, the recipes work and I still use her tips and base my cooking on that book to this day. An absolute banger of a classic . Teaches you from boiling an egg onwards and is so well written. Jack actually could never x

 

[DinosaurSenior]

This horsey is a bit like Ballet Born To Dance Jack