Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

[griftalo]

Considering guest has had aesthetic work completed (allegedly) she hasn't aged particularly well.

I'm the least ageist person (at my age I can't afford to be), but if you are going to attempt to defy the aging process by having work done, (and no judgement from me on that score) it should at least make you look better not worse. She looks 10 years older than her actual age.

I find a lot of people who have work done have this thing where by the very act of having work done, they look older, if that makes sense. That said she’s aged horribly prior, I’m a good bit older, and two different people the other day thought I was ten years younger than I am - wasn’t fishing for compliments - it was regarding the age of our kids and the second time about Adhd going unnoticed in girls in the 80s.
Is it like Roald Dahl said? If you have middle aged poorly written rants at the paper you will have a horribly middle aged face before your time?
I honestly don’t get how someone can have so much money available to then to get a stylist and still look SO frumpish. It’s bizarre. Modest fashion has come on in leaps and bounds, she’s not even bound by any of that! Shame really as it would look much nicer.

 

[rage naan]

Wait. Are the Vladverts (if I've got that part of the jargon correct!) weighing in on the mither question?

 

[Nurseali]

This is exactly it, I’ve been reading here daily since before last Christmas and picked up a lot of the jokes and chat and history that way, not to mention the wiki (there’s literally a section on in-jokes!). I get why there’d be suspicion on newbies who seem knowledgeable quickly, especially given the subject of these threads, though. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve felt like part of this community for months without being able to interact and now I can it’s fun to just jump right into it. Apologies if it’s a bit much.

I am loving it. It's just what was needed whilst guest is laying low as a redhead . It's not too much at all

 

[plentyofpepper]

Imagine handing copy over for her to approve.
It'd come back with all normal verbs crossed out and instructions like 'good but pls replace "walked" with "scurried" & "ran" with "scampered" and "walked upstairs" with "clambered". Also needs moar adverbs pls &thkyou'

‘Hi idk if you’ve heard but there’s a rule of threes when it comes to adjectives? So if you’re describing how wonderful I am I need two more complimentary adjectives!! Thankyou!!’

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Grunking but I seem to recall someone else giving her credit for this - (was it get cape wear cape fly they've interacted before but I can't find the tweet I'm thinking of?)
The tweet said something like "I remember how you're responsible for them putting cameras in the council chambers"

I wondered at the time about the origin, but if it was literally her musing over something in her paper column, that's ridiculous. I'm guessing she heard someone talking about it who was actually campaigning to make it happen...wrote about it, then it happened.

Found it!

even better- it was in her effing blog about something she’d read in the paper before she even got the column in the paper! Then when she read about it in the paper, she wrote one of her Brigadier General Insufferable-OldTwat (Retired) letters to the paper to alert Southend (for the second time) to the fact that she’d thought of it first.

Unlike the IPads in the hospitals monitoring patients “moving their bowels” that 24 year old Brigadier General Insfferable-OldTwat (Retired) had the absolute vapours about tho, she was into the idea of TECHNOLOGY in the council chambers because it would directly benefit her.

Spoiler: Jack’s ⭐️ STAR LETTERS ⭐️ for the uninitiated

Cameras in the council meetings though?!

Lol and the article she “wrote back in May on her blog”…? it’s an article about how she read about it (and herself) in the paper. Stupid insufferable twit.

 

[griftalo]

That's an important element, for sure - the blithe "lol what can I say? I'm a chaos! Tee-hee! Just a wee smol adorable chaos! You wouldn't be so cruel as to hold me accountable, would you?" act. It's an extension of the "not my fault because bad mentals/ADHD/etc, my actions are not only beyond my control but also completely excused" thing with an added gloss of "look at me" twee.

I've come round to the view that Simon thingy absolutely stitched her up in a brilliantly subtle way.

This plus the scampering is going to finish me off via my blood pressure. It’s infuriating.
Be accountable guest, have some integrity, and stop with this horrible brambley pixhead persona.
I shouldn’t be here really, I’m meant to stay calm!!

 

[Florid Language]

They called her a prophet.
Not shitting you, they genuinely called her a prophet.

In the words of Clinton Baptiste "I'm getting the word.......Judas"

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I picture her like this at the side of the pool waiting for someone to sidle over…

REENACTMENT

Spoiler: (🏊🤿Whispers) “Are you Jack Monroe?”

 

[I'm not actually here]

Grunking but I seem to recall someone else giving her credit for this - (was it get cape wear cape fly they've interacted before but I can't find the tweet I'm thinking of?)
The tweet said something like "I remember how you're responsible for them putting cameras in the council chambers"

I wondered at the time about the origin, but if it was literally her musing over something in her paper column, that's ridiculous. I'm guessing she heard someone talking about it who was actually campaigning to make it happen...wrote about it, then it happened.

Found it!

We were pushing for this tit in the late 90s and early noughties. As ever she was late to the party.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I do not cope well with change.

 

[I'm not actually here]

In today’s good news… She’s once again haemorrhaging followers and is now back to pre-Gengar chaos levels on the Hellsite. And Greenbelt have lost the narrative as, surprise surprise, they are unable to control quote Tweets.

ooh, any screenshots for us Twexiles?

 

[Nurseali]

even better- it was in her effing blog about something she’d read in the paper before she even got the column in the paper! Then when she read about it in the paper, she wrote one of her Brigadier General Insufferable-OldTwat (Retired) letters to the paper to alert Southend (for the second time) to the fact that she’d thought of it first.

Unlike the IPads in the hospitals monitoring patients “moving their bowels” that 24 year old Brigadier General Insfferable-OldTwat (Retired) had the absolute vapours about tho, she was into the idea of TECHNOLOGY in the council chambers because it would directly benefit her.

Spoiler: Jack’s ⭐ STAR LETTERS ⭐ for the uninitiated

View attachment 2283954View attachment 2283955Cameras in the council meetings though?!
View attachment 2283969Lol and the article she “wrote back in May on her blog”…? it’s an article about how she read about it (and herself) in the paper. Stupid insufferable twit. View attachment 2283978

If she had actually asked any HCP they would have told her that iPads save time and money and also stops patients notes being as big as her head. Also improves the notes actually being completed .
She picks her battles like a desperate troll

 

[Lucky Escape]

Gosh that intro is so illustrative of Greenbelt's ingrained snobbery and classism.

"Jack Monroe is a Tory cabinet’s nightmare – a coherent single mother"

Why would that be something unusual and worthy of note unless Greenbelt's view is that single mothers are generally incoherent?

She must make an absolute killing from Greenbelt attendees donating to the tip jar.

At this point they deserve each other.

It says a lot about them that they're prepared to close ranks to protect their own despite the wider harm that's been caused (and, in Jack's case, continues to be caused).

See also their statement about the former archbishop of York - https://www.greenbelt.org.uk/statements/#disinviting-john-sentamu-from-greenbelt-2023

He's the gross fucker who, as the second most powerful person in the church of England, was responsible for covering up multiple cases of grape and child sexual abuse. He's spent the past five years whinging, deflecting, and victim-blaming in an attempt to wheedle his way out of any trouble. Greenbelt still invited him along despite all of that being public knowledge, and only disinvited him after the church finally got round to removing him from all remaining positions of authority.

And yet, just read that statement - it minimises his responsibility, fails to acknowledge the harm he caused, and makes a point of noting that he's challenging the findings of a report into his behaviour in way that suggests that it's still uncertain that he did anything wrong.

So of course they support Jack, who they see as being "one of us".

As for her victims? duck them. Pray for their souls if you must, but don't let them get in the way of prophet Jack.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

We were pushing for this tit in the late 90s and early noughties. As ever she was late to the party.

Were you pushing for it for JOE PUBLIC though? Or just for Political Anoraks like your VERY IMPORTANT self?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I love all the new members being here, after being shut out!

I feel like I want to run around showing them all the horrors they might have missed

 

[friedeggswithmetalfeagmen]

This is exactly it, I’ve been reading here daily since before last Christmas and picked up a lot of the jokes and chat and history that way, not to mention the wiki (there’s literally a section on in-jokes!). I get why there’d be suspicion on newbies who seem knowledgeable quickly, especially given the subject of these threads, though. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve felt like part of this community for months without being able to interact and now I can it’s fun to just jump right into it. Apologies if it’s a bit much.

That and there are similar forums out here (no names mentioned but I am not referring to rhymes-with-bums-net) which have a similar ethos. As in we're all here to snark and that brings us together.

I do really like the atmosphere here and Grunking is one of my favorite words. It's also great to see - not just on here, but all over the site - so many different takes and opinions expressed without dog-piling or table flipping because someone's jimmies got rustled or their feefees were hurt.

Rest of the internet could learn a lot. Especially the comments club and jacks enablers.

Oh can I make a thread name suggestion please? "With a slop-slop here, and a grift-grift there, Jack's slop-grifting everywhere".

I would suggest "smol chaos has slops if you have coin" but that's because I am a poorly tenderstem and off work and playing The Elder Scrolls, send immodium-eenoes, thankspaceyou.

 

[Nurseali]

I love all the new members being here, after being shut out!

I feel like I want to run around showing them all the horrors they might have missed

Show them the kitchen rug that's my favourite

 

[I'm not actually here]

Were you pushing for it for JOE PUBLIC though? Or just for Political Anoraks like your VERY IMPORTANT self?

View attachment 2284004

Every fucker. Except her, retrospectively.

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

Show them the kitchen rug that's my favourite

Please do!!!!

 

[Florid Language]

Show them the kitchen rug that's my favourite

My Gran used to make proggy mats but she never had one in the kitchen.