Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

[Sideboard Bob]

If I try and call that fecker Monroe a C U N T and it defaults to bleep, I’ll be in the spite orangery eating non-rehydrated trifle in anger

fucking cunt

eta oh good, it’s just new frauen writing bleep because they don’t do swears!


pps sorry for swearing
ppps sorry mancbee

Yes! Apologies in advance to Mancbee…*

If you read Tattle without being logged in, fuck becomes duck, shit becomes tit, cunt becomes bleep, and I think dickhead becomes head

*for newcomers, we don’t actually have to do this, he loathes swearing himself, but doesn’t really mind it from other people.

~~~
ETA, how this post reads when you’re logged out/not a member.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

That guest has SUCH a hilllllarrrrrrrrrious life!

If I was going to painstakingly make up tedious fictional anecdotes about my mad wild life to make the the HATERZ cacophonous with jealousy, I’d at least put some effort into ensuring I didn’t sound like a complete fucking simpleton.

Cackle cackle, performative cackles

Jack Monroe #327 Three and a half stars on Wikifeet

Thread title courtesy of @Mr Krabs In the last thread it was confirmed that OH had indeed LEFT and Jack also announced that today would see the fulfilment of a 10-year dream. Various suggestions were made by the canal as to what this could be, but no one guessed the correct answer, which...

tattle.life

Cackle cackle, performative cackles (and bonus floppings about)

Calling @Marmalade Atkins for the screenshot of the hillllarrrrrious time where guest laughed so hard at someone’s garden ornaments she had to be softly gently supported by a tree.
(Edit: I forgot a hilllarrrrrious anecdote, now added)

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

What is healthy on a bootstrap lol?

It's so painfully, arsehole twitchy and sweaty cringe that she has used bootstrap and not shoestring.
SHE MEANT SHOESTRING

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Trifle defender has replied to that Greenbelt Statement tweet

 

[UnPickled]

I trying to remember who Jenny, Peter and Barbara are - I think Jenny was the head of PE who married the janitor and Peter was the head of science/deputy head who wished everyone a productive day in assembly, but Barbara is leaving me stumped. Maybe the sewing/cooking teacher. Definitely not the head, she was P.M. Surname. It's been so long and I so rarely think of past teachers that I could be totally off - they were all Mr/Mrs X to me at the time anyway. I'm just assuming they're all teachers from secondary school, I have no idea who else would be telling her she'd only ever flip burgers.

It's frankly bizarre that she still holds grudges against these people I'm struggling to even picture. I didn't have a great time at that school either, but sitting here reminiscing has just made me pull the name of my 'childhood nemesis' up and I've literally this second realised she shares a surname with my Harold who I've been with for six bloody years. It's so irrelevant and removed from who I am now it's just not on my mind.

 

[lilykestrel]

Presented without comment from me.

View attachment 2275385

This means Jack Monroe listed themselves as an Oxfam Ambassador.

Same as she lists herself as an activist.
Same as she lists herself as a cook...

Fucking.. Ell. Oh. SLOPSUCKING. Ell

what a fine example of a customer service/admin person saying "yeah you're right, she's billy-bullshitting but I can't say that outright"

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Last Sunday morning I was in a Celerytown coffee shop when I noticed that Ian Rankin was ordering, I didn’t even think to ask him about guest because I was so excited that the other woman in the queue may have been a Frau in the Wild: @DinosaurSenior! I attempted to ascertain whether this was the case by loudly talking to my baby about elderly reptiles but sadly there was no look of recognition. Now imagine my delight that I now know I can wear my VBI badge around the old town as a guest inspired masons handshake!

oh lolol!!! It wouldn't have been me on the Sabbath, Cissy Missy! No caffeine on the Lord's day. Also I don't work that day. But isn't he adorable? Just...buying his coffee like a normal dude, even though he is a Sir. Imagine if guest was there...looking around to see if she was being recognised. Loudly saying her name when they ask it for the coffee cup: "It's Monroe. Jack Monroe. Accidental Conqueror of my Own Fears. Vegan. Disabled. ADHD"....etc etc

Coffee Vendor: "We're gonna need a bigger cup"

 

[emotionalsupportsideboard]

Hello, new frau here, almost broke my keyboard in my haste to sign up when I saw registrations were open.

Have refrained from posting an origin story so far as I've been BUSY, but wanted to say hello, as I've been grunking here for about a year now.

I was a fan of Jack until I tweeted something about the Katie Hopkins case (cos duck KH) and someone told me to Google for Tattle and Jack, and Teemill. I got distracted by the Vonny threads as a friend used to work with her but then back here I came to grunk for eternity.

I'm pleased to have been mentioned here as a squig on my now deleted Twitter, and this place has kept me sane when Jacko made me cross.

I'm an actual WC, ex pov, diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD having leftie, and having this pulsating buttmunch cosplaying makes me very cross indeed.

Thankspaceyou for all you do. I'll dip back out now and make sure my contributions are meaningful.

 

[Katkat]

I asked Positive News as CPAG ignored me
ETA: she wasn’t listed on their website then or now.

 

[Geetbo]

Can’t decide if rage naan or ah went tell are my favourite username. If we ever get an Iqbal I think I might die.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Odd for Oxfam to have scrubbed all record of guest from their website when she is an ambassador apparently.

Actually that's not fully true. She does appear in the charity shop section.

Spoiler: Bonus: I was in poverty because my penthouse had no garden

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Yes! Apologies in advance to Mancbee…*

If you read Tattle without being logged in, fuck becomes duck, shit becomes tit, cunt becomes bleep, and I think dickhead becomes head

*for newcomers, we don’t actually have to do this, he loathes swearing himself, but doesn’t really mind it from other people.

ETA, how this post reads when you’re logged out/not a member.

View attachment 2280855

I never knew this, I'm never logged out

 

[Geetbo]

uh oh, now coxy's fingering lasagne, slowly morphing into guest

View attachment 2280100

Sara Cox has horses. That’s all I’m saying.

 

[lilykestrel]

" We know that few people divide public opinion as much as she does."

I mean that's a bit of a stretch, Greenbelt. I'd say a good percentage of the British public don't know who she is.

 

[Be our guest]

Good afternoon ninnies
I'm not planning to invade your threads too much but after following these threads for about 6 months!! Since the suelee stuff started flying around twitter and I have just been and wanted to say thanks!!
Personally I never paid much attention to jack, I tried one of her recipes (slow cooker bread) that was rubbish and forgot she existed until she was suddenly all over GC twitter being a non binary transmasc lesbian who was also posing in ten tons of slap on Facebook. I thought she was a bit of a tit and thought no more. Then molly started trending and I was hooked on the saga of guest...I've read a lot of the wiki and mind blown!

 

[Savethesauce]

You know you love to see it

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Hi guys,

Another long time lurker but first time poster. I was always barely aware of Jack as someone “who does so much good”. I donated to her tipjar and even purchased one of her books on Amazon to do a giveaway to help her out a bit after reading HH2.

Then Awfully Molly’s blog popped up on another site and led me here and I realised nothing this person says makes one bit of sense.

Now she INFURIATES me. Especially the faking every illness going. I’m currently struggling to work a v.busy job after 3 months in hospital and a long term condition diagnosis and she just sits on her bed/sofa all day tweeting and calling it work.

Even so, up until the Lee Anderson drama I was still a bit like “oh dear her mental health”. After how she acted when that all came to head now I’m like”you deserve all you get mate”.

And she does.

 

[Copacapybara]

*New interloper poking head in*
I’ve been following this awhile. I find it super disappointing and alarming that someone could become such a well-promoted cook with no interest or skill in cooking!

I am however grateful that it wasn’t a ‘neurosurgeon named Jack’ kinda situation. Maybe performing surgery with improvised egg rings.

I have ADHD myself and can see aspects of it in her constant unfinished projects, overcommitments, and wonder if I’d be like that if I ever unwittingly (and unwillingly) fell into a mythical land where one of my random flaky hobbies became profitable. In that regard I can sympathise as I’d likely just leave a trail of well-meaning chaos in my wake.

But most people with ADHD are keenly aware of their liabilities. What puzzles me is that she never seems to think she’s screwed up, or admitted her limitations, it’s the crucial point at which the whole rickety construct collapses. And if she didn’t keep pretending to be living in grinding poverty she could gave admitted her liabilities and hired in help.

And it upsets me that so many inexperienced cooks are wasting food and thinking they’re crap at cooking, just from following something seemingly created by a crazed AI aardvark with a software virus.

 

[MooBelle]

Greenbelt have finally issued a statement about Jack. TL;dr we like Jack, we’ve all made mistakes, we’re getting some actual povs along too and we think this cancels out her cosplay.

Greenbelt Festival Statements

Stay informed with Greenbelt Festival Statements. Straight from Greenbelt HQ about the festival and programme.

www.greenbelt.org.uk

Oh fuck off Greenbelt.
They may as well have said 'yeah, we know she's a thieving twat but we've already printed the programmes so it's cheaper to keep her on the bill'
Twats. Hope they've got extra staff manning the SM accounts to deal with the backlash.

 

[HONK!]

Hello, lovely canal.

I'm a heron who, like every egg laid in the history of eggs, has inexplicably been whisked away and ended up thinking 'What the very fuck is going on?"

When I discovered, after an ephemeral amount of Very Distressing Poverty, I was able to finally join Tattle I Hooted. I Fizzed. I rubbed my unruly 53% vegan scrotum against a pop-up laundry bin because, as a genuine poor, I have no sideboards.

It's so good to be here, at last.

My hoop has never been so rinsed. It's like a rebirthing. Picture a tape worm emerging valiantly from a frothing anus. Hold that image.

That's me.





Now fuck off. x