Jack Monroe #515 Socialist in the streets, capitalist in the balance sheets

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Was nosing about to see if I could find her not often spoken of eldest brother (found someone 2 and a bit years older than Y, same surname , different mum, born Southend) and was reminded that either Y was 5 ish month’s premature or there was a shotgun wedding. I wonder if that’s why Guest has such a chip on her shoulder about being a *shock horror* unwed mother ? trying to out scandal her own parents 😂
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 39
Just caught the tail end of Fingers Kerridge's Food & Drink show, and there was a segment with some guy who wants to reduce food waste. He made pasta with sausagemeat (which he got by removing the skin of the sausage) with pesto which he made out of mushy on the turn salad bag lettuce. 👀
 
  • Sick
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 41
They probably rejected her because they sensed that in the future she wouldn’t keep her legs closed, and would just become Cath Kidston bag carrying white trash that shouldn’t breed while also single-handedly saving the povs.
I've had a look at the aptitude test online with my eldest, not sure if guest would have struggled most with the physics, electrical or spatial awareness sections. There is also a timed element to see how quickly and accurately you can complete tasks.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 30
For any newer fraus who may have missed guest’s raw musical talent

It is like watching a primary school child at their school nativity play when they are up on stage with an audience, think they are bossing it and have absolutely no actual talent but as a parent you cheer wildly for them because you know they can learn in the future. She has zero musicality, zero rhythm and zero talent.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 52
hail yourself! sorry I got excited you're the first LPoTL listener I've come across in the 'wild' 👋





this viewing I'm noticing how you think it's going to stop and then PLONK PLONK PLONK PLONK

also noticed she did a little count in before hammering out the chorus
I thought she was going to turn to the camera and give a smug “nailed it” smile at the end. Did we ever know where that piano was. I>e is that her piano?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 26
I for one would happily purchase the CD single of her very own heart rending composition (about herself) “Girl on the Radio” (Lyrics and Music by Jack Monroe).
View attachment 2230241

Especially if she strums along to her adenoidal American-accented warbling on the guitar she either has or hasn’t got and either can or cannot play.

March 2014
View attachment 2230226View attachment 2230228

A mere three months earlier
View attachment 2230229
View attachment 2230230
Also lolz to “I’ve sung in bands on and off over the years”. Nice one, Suzie Quatro.
Right. Musician here. *watermelon* but either it's a typo about the chords, or she's lying about the guitar. Playing a C chord is hard as a beginner. And there aren't many songs that would have D, C and E in them, as the key is all wrong. I suspect she meant D, G and E, but it's just a small inaccuracy compared to lying about having sold the damn thing.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 61
I've had a look at the aptitude test online with my eldest, not sure if guest would have struggled most with the physics, electrical or spatial awareness sections. There is also a timed element to see how quickly and accurately you can complete tasks.
I know people can ( and do) get medical waivers but presumably the fact Jack had a diagnosis of autism, a history of severe eating disorders and a life threatening allergy to tomatoes stress, plus all the bad mentals ( I can’t remember exactly what was from the traumatic poverty childhood and what was from the traumatic poverty week 10 years ago ) also didn’t help her application .

strange no one in the careers advice department, or her own family mentioned her medical limitations and softly gently suggested she did something else 😂
 

Attachments

  • Like
  • Haha
  • Wow
Reactions: 34
One of the b-sides to Kirsty MacColl’s cover of that Billy Bragg tune was called “I’m Married To An 80 Year-Old Millionaire”

Just a couple more years for Guest and Big Lin to go!


Also also also… it’s a great judgment of her “talent” when halfway through you’re still not sure what bleeping song it is until she starts bonking the same key for the chorus like she’s trying to push Lin’s bean up to her tonsils.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 32
feels important to post this for the newer fraus



we are all the man in the green t-shirt, looking around for someone to put a stop to all this nonsense

View attachment 2230330
This is excruciating. Pair of quilts. My great auntie Gladys is more rock n roll. I really think she thought the fame that she found (she was everywhere quite suddenly) would've led to her fronting a band. She seemed to be angling for it all time the big deluded clown.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Sick
Reactions: 35
Does anyone get the impression that when she says she's not like other girls she actually means she wants to be other girls. I find it telling with all the quirky try hard clothing and image she tries to protray to make her interesting. She must really dislike who she actually is very much. I stopped using clothing for petsonailty when i was still in my teens. I dont feel the need to do that anymore. Its tragic she still does.
I’ve said it before, but guest acts like she’s still bitter about being rejected by the cool girls at school aged 14. I’LL SHOW THEM!

(“Who are you?” they ask, at the reunion)
---
There is also a timed element to see how quickly and accurately you can complete tasks.
SHAN’T
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 27
For any newer fraus who may have missed guest’s raw musical talent

I can play piano better than that and I wouldn't describe myself as being able to play the piano if asked. I certainly wouldn't record myself playing and put it on the internet. The misplaced confidence is staggering, is she just high off her own farts/alleged substances constantly?

I remember once I committed to learning Rush's 'Fly By Night' on guitar using a youtube guide video and practiced for a minimum hour a day for weeks. I got to a passable level with it but I never thought 'now it's time to assault the senses of the masses with this!'.



I think the audacity of playing with one hand and acting cool, juxtaposed with it being a horrendous din, has really pickled my pumble :ROFLMAO:
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 37
Was nosing about to see if I could find her not often spoken of eldest brother (found someone 2 and a bit years older than Y, same surname , different mum, born Southend) and was reminded that either Y was 5 ish month’s premature or there was a shotgun wedding. I wonder if that’s why Guest has such a chip on her shoulder about being a *shock horror* unwed mother ? trying to out scandal her own parents 😂
That's the one.
 
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 19
Mithering while trying to stomach the Stroud audio. Not only does she have a nose that could sink a thousand ships, but it’s definitely a voice for mime.

Her USP is banging on about how she wasn’t was a povvo over a decade ago, to an audience whose only similar experiences are when Bonne Maman jam goes up 10p…. But… who bleeping cares? How does that help NOW to families struggling as the cost of literally EVERYTHING is staggering. Honking “tories are bad” like a demented goose doesn’t solve anything, from a writer whose contribution to the pantheon of cookery literature spreads no further than “have you tried spreading this on toast, or mixing these two things together if you’ve got them?”

Jack Monroe is a charlatan, a thief, and a complete shitbox. I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire. She’s the only person in the world that would make me cheer on the shark in Jaws.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 53
It is like watching a primary school child at their school nativity play when they are up on stage with an audience, think they are bossing it and have absolutely no actual talent but as a parent you cheer wildly for them because you know they can learn in the future. She has zero musicality, zero rhythm and zero talent.
Never mind, she’s always got her ballet, poetry, or singing to fall back on
IMG_9700.jpeg
IMG_9701.jpeg

IMG_9704.jpeg

BOULEVAAAAAAARD here!
Oh well, at least she’s got her tip-top presenting skillz and delicious cookery to fall back on
Oh Jack,
IMG_9703.jpeg

(From the comments under BOULEVAAAAAAAAARD)
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 52
off topic sorry don’t sue me like lee, but a really big American podcast just covered Purple Aki. (The last podcast on the left) he’s getting about aint he!
Grunking disclaimer - He’s said not to call him that coz it’s racist, and he has a point. Not sure what we do call him though. Muscles Aki?

lolling at him asking cannon fodder fantasy Monroe for a squeeze or a lift “Hi Jack, I can bench press the Queen too, just let me get you on my back to show you…”
 
  • Like
Reactions: 18
She's not even mediocre at things, she's shite at everything! Her cooking is abysmal and her musical skills, well where to even begin? Her writing is year 5 at best (no offence to year 5s) and don't give a toss if she's written over 1600 pages of nonsense or has two honourary doctorates, that simply tells me that the publishers/universities didn't do sue dole hence/lack critical thinking skills.
Terrible.
Honestly my typing! Sue dole was meant to say due diligence!
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 18
Part 2

In which our plucky hero’s life is saved by 300 emails, continues to contradict herself, use other people’s experiences and talks bollocks.
 

Attachments

  • Like
  • Haha
  • Sick
Reactions: 26
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.