Jack Monroe #510 Simply The guest

[Clovis]

I see guest has been hanging out with all those close, dear friends who don't use social media again.

Just the ticket for when you have to get up a cockcrow to catch a train. Absolute scenes!

 

[Geetbo]

Does it matter what your intentions are, though? I intend to be a good law abiding citizen, so if I steal a mars bar, maybe it’s a mistake.
If I steal a mars bar every week, it’s not really a mistake is it? Either I’m having some medical issue, or I’m a big thief.
If I kept stealing a mars bar from the man in the shop, I’d get someone to come in the shop with me and say I’m sorry, I don’t know how it happens please kick me out if I come in the shop again. I’d pay in advance for a box of mars bars in case I nicked one again by mistake. I’d see my GP. I’d really try to not steal mars bars.

Agree with this. We all fuck up sometimes, but with guest it’s just a constant parade of fuck ups.

 

[Nonah]

Does it matter what your intentions are, though? I intend to be a good law abiding citizen, so if I steal a mars bar, maybe it’s a mistake.
If I steal a mars bar every week, it’s not really a mistake is it? Either I’m having some medical issue, or I’m a big thief.
If I kept stealing a mars bar from the man in the shop, I’d get someone to come in the shop with me and say I’m sorry, I don’t know how it happens please kick me out if I come in the shop again. I’d pay in advance for a box of mars bars in case I nicked one again by mistake. I’d see my GP. I’d really try to not steal mars bars.

Or maybe you’d shakily present the shopkeeper with a handwritten note and a basket full of Mars Bars telling him not to serve you any Mars Bars because not only is the basket full but also your pockets and he would softly gently tell you to fuck off.

 

[Phillipa78]

Turning up to work fresh from a rave is it. Such a wise, reformed person.

Really going to give her best to today's paying audience...

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Lumpy Mode...

NOTHING WRONG WITH LUMPY!

Warned.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

CLASSIC JACK IS BACK! #BLESSED

sorry for YELLING

 

[Hold my beans]

Oh, unless she meant Helena Bonham Carter when she was in Sweeney Todd?

I'd rather eat her cooking than Jack's tbh

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

PEEKABOO! SORRY FOR SHOUTING

 

[Jelly Bean]

This is so obvious and we've all said it, but she should have paused Patreon for at least 3 months. Even if her silly subscribers kept saying 'please don't Jack - I don't expect anything in return' - as that is not the point of it. In that time she should have got on top of all her outstanding rewards. Then have a rebooted version with only digital rewards, or making it very clear there would be the very bare minimum eg a quarterly blog post.
The Sue Lee thing I'm actually at a bit of a loss how she can make that right tbh.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Foxvint]

I agree that no one should berate for her natural appearance (she is/was conventionally attractive, but that is irrelevant to what type of person she is). I think once Jack starts playing with fillers and botox, then lying about it, she leaves her self open - Pringles, for fucks sake.

I do think if Jamie Oliver prepared food with dirty hands he would get an equal kicking.

Agree. I think knocking grooming *choices* is fair game. Choices don't happen in a vacuum and women in the public eye are damned if they do damned if they don't with botox and fillers but to deny it and blame yer crisps is gonna get a roasting from me everytime.

 

[Geetbo]

I've honestly been in livelier care homes than that "rave."

 

[SweetTransvestite]

To be fair to her, I think the original photo has some sort of art filter applied - here's the full-size version:

View attachment 2203593

Is that what happens if you spend all weekend raving it up, hitting the orange squash hard and living your best life in a raucous cacophony of great mates and risotto? Wild times.

 

[Pocahontas]

View attachment 2203040

SATURDAY NIGHT DANCE

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Remember she had a fund from savings she’d made since being “sober”, she was apparently using it to take him on multiple holidays last year? Unless she kept them offline (LOL) then it seems none of those transpired, the poor kid

I picture him gazing forlornly at his map, gu pot with pringles lid, full of pins

In all seriousness, as a mate of mine once said, you only get 16 summers with your babies, I feel sorry for the kid if his mum wasted the years you can never get back

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The big red blob of eyeshadow on her inner eyelid is just so unfortunate.

 

[hoopdedoo]

View attachment 2205104
Getting shitfaced
Fucking off to Brighton on a Sunday, when she could be helping her son with his homework
Silly made up story about a 45 year old man, who talks like a poster you'd find on the wall of a kitchen

10/10. Mum of the year

She's so neutral/ambivalent about the way her body looks that she facetunes the effing sky. Pull the other one, guest.

 

[bizwizz89]

Thought this was apt. I still don’t get why she went to two raves AFTER the first sober rave finished at 5pm and how she shoehorned it all in (I used to be partial to a cheeky rave or three back in the day… i don’t think she would have found another 2 sober raves in London that consecutively ran one after the other on the same day. Maybe she did but I doubt it. Especially a sober rave finishing very late. Anyway, I digress) so I wondered whether the Hay Festival degenerated into a big mad rave after all the ‘keynote’ talks had finished, so I checked. And dear reader, no, no it doesn’t/didn’t (all tenses are interchangeable) degenerate into a big mad rave. END

 

[Lucky Escape]

Uh oh. Come on Jack! Maybe you can get the cost down to £8 a week and beat the competition.

P.s. I know it's beside the point, but this article's really annoying! She's a PR manager. I don't know how much they earn on average, but surely there's no need to budget that tightly? No kids either which makes it a lot easier.

Also unsure about this meal plan. It seems very protein heavy??

View attachment 2206184

Her employer seems to do PR for The Hut Group, who own MyProtein. This story smells like an undeclared ad for them.

If she's happy to make do with a limited diet bulked out with industrial by-product protein powders / bars / puddings, then fair play to her. But it's not a sensible option for most people, and really shouldn't be being promoted liked this in the national press.

(Guest, of course, claims to feed 3 people for £20/week, so her budget is actually tighter still)

 

[Mr Krabs]

Sober raves sound as bad as those baby raves where not-like-the-other-mums types wave glow sticks in front of disinterested toddlers.