Jack Monroe #486 Things like carrots and onions are widely sold in many other places for similar prices

[traumatised sideboard]

Congrats on your thread title @chizontiz who nominated Jack's own words. You win a vat of aged brawn. Tuck in, dear heart, it's on its last legs.

Jack's coming back strong with a quirky story that totally happened about someone at a bus stop overhearing her talking on the phone to a friend about a honking head in her fridge. We eagerly await photos of all the various parts of it after it has been turned into the inevitable slop.

Wiki is the pink button up top. When nominating thread titles please use the words 'thread title' and NO SWEARING.

 

[allybongo]

Never mind the pig. I’m still waiting on the eels.

 

[Nurseali]

Get in line. I was first for chocolate pancakes.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Jack also has some ribs, lungs and hearts honking up her fridge. Yep.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

She's just saying stuff for shock value now.

Just like her silly old tattoos that she thinks will give elderly ladies an attack of the vapors, she's painted herself into a corner, and all that's left is posting increasingly weird lies to grasp st engagement.

Jackie, time to start working on that CV

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Never mind all this, what about space squigg’s unboxing

 

[Jelly Bean]

I'm still waiting for her 45 blog posts for 2023 and her searing think piece on Jacinta Ardern.

 

[Nurseali]

I would give all her promised recipes up for the other troll claims debunked. The Botox one was a nice starter but I want more.

 

[Old Harold]

What about that poor guy in 2020 wanting to know what to do with his cold chippy chips?!

 

[Mr Krabs]

Jackie, time to start working on that CV

2010 - 2011 - Fire service nepo baby
2011 - 2013 - ?????? Maybe sex work
2014 - 2020 - had rich girlfriends
2020 to date - ran a successful Patreon campaign. Posted fanny on internet.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

GRANOLA!!!
Gosh terribly sorry, don't know where that came from.
Jack is a fraudulent scamming , pass it on xx

 

[hoopdedoo]

2020 to date - ran a successful Patreon campaign. Posted fanny on internet.

2022 - Styled bargain-price dress with safety pins so as to fit in with CEOs and execs at Google summit. (She'll want to include that when she applies for Viv's (RIP) job, now that it's vacant.)

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.

 

[Cookiecookie]

What's the bet she started honking louder on her phone when talking about the head in her fridge?

I had the misfortune to be standing behind someone on FaceTime, and the person they were chatting with was clearly naked. Wasn't even a 'sexy' conversation, just a naked dude hanging out (literally) You just know she does that as well

 

[Nurseali]

Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.
View attachment 2044063

The pumble on the floor

 

[Jelly Bean]

Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.
View attachment 2044063

Who is bottom left in the fridge?

I'd feel sorry for the person standing behind her in the queue whatever. We all know she leaves a lingering honk.

 

[pumbilical cord]

Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.
View attachment 2044063

Now this is art.

 

[Bugger13]

Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.
View attachment 2044063

Is that an eel in the washing machine?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Why did she say a “loaf” of brawn? Like, how does it become a loaf?
ETA oh duck I googled it. It’s a terrine.
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Y'all know what this bleep offspring of Jeffery Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen keeps in the fridge.
View attachment 2044063

Henry hoovering coins and the pants on perma fire hootin and fizzin

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Why did she say a “loaf” of brawn? Like, how does it become a loaf?
ETA oh duck I googled it. It’s a terrine.
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Henry hoovering coins and the pants on perma fire hootin and fizzin

I thought a terrine was one of those glass boxes you keep ferns in