Jack Monroe #466 I'm heterosexual so I'm buying a guinea pig for Gary Wilmot

[Mr Krabs]

The thing about her recklessly spending money is that she doesn't even give the impression of having (had) a good time with her money. (I am not counting the forced 'living my best life toot toot' posts)

Always amazes me that Jack is my age, yet the shit she’s spunked her money on is the sort of stuff my granny would buy if she had a win on the pools.

My internet broke the other day so I had crap daytime TV on in the background. There were so many ads for Cotswolds in between commercials for funeral plans, stairlifts and cruises. So punk. Much edgy.

 

[Lostcat]

It seems right and fitting that the tweet that launched the VBI is shown here again today in all its glory.
Tweet. We salute you

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It really grinds my gears that she associated the name of Terry Pratchett with her foolishness. Sir Terry was a clear-eyed pragmatist who had spent a decade in journalism before starting to write his books, and he had very little in the way of misty-eyed sentimentality about people, business, politics and their motivations. He would have looked at this, thought "Uh-huh, what's in it for you, Jack?" and probably phoned his publisher to tell them to stop this random Twitterer profiting off his characters name, toot-sweet. He did not like people trying to use his work for their own aims, not one bit. (There's a reason there were very, very few licensed products or other big-scale media productions of his books in his lifetime: he didn't trust people not to twist it into something else to suit their vision. There's been a few TV things produced after his death that have proven just how wise he was to keep such a tight grip on his work)

Also, many of his books involve conmen, grifters, or chancers who saw an opportunity of dubious morality and snatched at it. Sometimes they reformed, sometimes they were so rotten at it they were a mere amusement to the characters (Mr "Cut-Me-Own-Throat" Dibbler is a notable example), but mostly, their sins found them out.

I suppose that's why his books were fantasy: the fools and wrong'uns always got their just desserts in the end. Real life is not so satisfying.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I wish those little robot fucks got locked in a basement by their neck beard overlord and eat each other’s stupid circular limbs due to a power surge that corrupts their twee circuit boards and turns them into smol cannibals. Irritating little robocunts.

 

[Cascara]

I don't really post here anymore, but because I do occasionally feel like showing up to be a downer -

As a former supermarket worker, please don't hide stock for shits and giggles. If causing needless hassle to low-paid workers in exchange for internet cool points wasn't funny when Jack and Louisa did it, why are people celebrating it now?

I’m so glad someone else has said this, I was thinking the same. I also think it gives her more ammunition to claim GK flopped because of an orchestrated ‘troll campaign’ rather than because it was full of dangerous, shit advice.

 

[Jelly Bean]

On this momentous day of the one year anniversary of the VBI never appearing, I think the day requires a few tweets from the Hellsite about it’s existence and it’s long tortuous process to never getting published. Here’s one I’ve just found, so much hope, so many interviews, so much about Jack and not the VBI itself …

View attachment 1899208

It seems right and fitting that the tweet that launched the VBI is shown here again today in all its glory.
Tweet. We salute you

 

[GigglePops]

I can't believe Jack has done all of this and isn't celebrating the VBI, frankly. Or is she?

ETA: That's as close as she will get to a 'black mass' on her shoulder.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I think you can put things in a sideboard, so it’s similar to a bag.

 

[Katkat]

The bread crumbing suicide is so fucking disgusting. You have a son! Who will read all this and so will his friends! You are setting him up for a life of therapy which apparently he’s already started.
God I hate her.

 

[shugabug23]

This is what I don't get.
In my experience anyone who has had serious illness, or lost loved ones to it doesn't tend to dwell on it with the almost loving detail like she does. Just too bloody upsetting.
When it is an academic exercise and you are actually in good health, then it is easier as you just don't comprehend what it is actually like (if that makes sense?)
Rather like her alcoholism and AA, compared to the accounts knowledgable posters have recounted here - she cosplays emotion and overdoes it so much it never seems genuine.

This is it! When our Mum passed I said to my sister (10 years younger than me) please don’t let us become one of “those” families on SM wishing her a Happy Bday, Mothers Day etc.

No offence if you do but our grief as a family was so public in our town because of who my Mum was so I wanted to preserve some anonymity so we could grieve


And not to Jack this story but it’s only the canal knows I went to the doc. I would never post my struggles on my personal SM like she does. But if I don’t answer a family WhatsApp there’s a knock at the door!! (I love my Irish peeps but NO ONE warns you they’re popping round anymore & it’s been an adjustment after 20 years abroad!)

Literally me when the doorbell goes….

ETA I’ve been saving that SS for ages! Colin Donnell 🫠

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Just catching up and having a look at the quote replies on ‘that tweet’ and I cannot believe yet another social housing group have paid for Jack to speak to them. Just think of the repairs etc that could have been done with that money. And also what the hell has Jack got to say about social housing? It’s that Cardiff thing all over again. Shame on you Stonewater. Sorry I deleted the tweet, as I didn’t read it correctly and the writer talks about suicide

 

[Lazarus]

Picture the scene:
You're overdrawn, you’re bogged down with work, bills, and fed up of eating the same uninspiring food. You walk through a train station on your way to a banal job that works you hard and doesn’t pay enough.
You see, out of the corner of your eye, a poster for a new book promising amazing meals that save you money. Additionally some brilliant hacks that’ll make you wonder how you’ve lived your life without them.
You take a note of the author and think about spending £20 of your very limited amount of money on their book. Before taking the plunge you have a look on their Twitter and this is the first thing you see:

(ps what does BTL mean?)

 

[fuzzypicklehead]

The skip bench bs annoyed me because I remember she posted a photo of all her plentiful, quirky chair varieties in the garden.

Then during the “preparation to move at some point in the distant future” she posted photos of some of the chairs being disassembled into gently, painstakingly, forensically labelled boxes.

Maybe instead of skip diving, crack open a box of chairs?

Or failing that… sit on a box?

But no, we have to have a performance of dragging crumbling limbs down the road, to drag a bench from a skip, just to draw attention to our pretend poverty and pretend friends.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

We have the receipts Jack you total idiot.

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April 2021

 

[Geetbo]

Is it this month we’re hoping patreon subscribers will fall off a cliff?

 

[Five hundred dogs]

This is my very very very favouritest thread title ever. It truly sets us apart from the slightly lower calibre threads with their torturous rhyming titles.

It’s definitely joined my two other favourites, Why you sob, Russel Hobb and Pet Cemetery in a Rucksack.

I wish someone would softly, gently ask her about the Vandalised Beans Ibex. She was so very giddy about it this time last year, getting praise from all quarters and earnestly informing us it would take the weekend to pull together. The fact that people still believe it exists, and point to it as a good thing Jack has done is an absolute travesty.

 

[Terrible]

It's been tough but I am being looked after at the best cancer centre in the country. They are fabulous. Thanks. X

Adding my very best wishes to you as well - my brother‘s just been diagnosed with blood cancer, not one of the scarier ones, but I’m still terrified for him and his family.
She‘s upset so many of us touched with this, I detest her.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

She’s not suicidal, she is disgusting.

She's not suicidal, She's a very shitty cook..

 

[Nonah]

Even if she just happened to be posting poorly photos in a headscarf at the same time as asking for advice from an oncologist on Twitter because her “friend” was sick, that’s sick.

 

[NellieBoo]

And if anyone on the hellsite even remembers to ask her where the VBI is, watch her be like "I'm not sure how it escaped your attention considering you're obsessed with me, but I'm in the process of MOVING to a ONE-BED FLAT and painstakingly decluttering from a decade-long trauma response, hope it's OK with you that I'm prioritising my living arrangements over any arbitrary deadlines set for me by people who have absolutely no fucking business policing how I choose to spend my limited time and energy."

As if millions of people around the world don't have to move house every single day without taking months off work and ignoring all their other responsibilities to do it.

What? She's moving? She's not mentioned it. Are you sure?

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Well, at least we know that when Jack talks about the ‘horrific abuse’ from the ‘worst corner of the internet’ she can’t possibly be talking about us mithering ninnies, because none of us have ever said anything like the things she’s claiming. So we can probably save our court outfits for another time!