Jack Monroe #466 I'm heterosexual so I'm buying a guinea pig for Gary Wilmot

Hollaaa · Jan 21, 2023

Thread title nominated by @Lumpyspaceprincess and coined by JennyNumNums. A singsong under a bridge to the tune of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to you both.

In the last thread, Jack had a meet cute with a busker, downplayed her ancient sideboards (not a euphemism) and was still on for suing 30p Lee, who is currently AWAY.

We also mithered over CCJs, click this post ICYMI:

Jack Monroe #465 Unlike Jack Monroe, Jacinda Ardern doesn't need emotional support sideboards

Blimey! She doesn’t learn, does she?

tattle.life

Newcomers please read the pink wiki at the top of the page, and keep thread nominations to the last 20ish pages, no swears please.

fuzzypicklehead · Jan 21, 2023

So, in the last thread:
-Jack is still suing Lee Anderson, btw
-marrying a passing stranger who sang with a busker
-has friends(!) and forces them to sit on skip benches
-implied that she rescued Content and rehomed sideboards

NomDeGuerre · Jan 21, 2023

Do her sideboards have refugee status?

fuzzypicklehead · Jan 21, 2023

The skip bench bs annoyed me because I remember she posted a photo of all her plentiful, quirky chair varieties in the garden.

Then during the “preparation to move at some point in the distant future” she posted photos of some of the chairs being disassembled into gently, painstakingly, forensically labelled boxes.

Maybe instead of skip diving, crack open a box of chairs?

Or failing that… sit on a box?

But no, we have to have a performance of dragging crumbling limbs down the road, to drag a bench from a skip, just to draw attention to our pretend poverty and pretend friends.

TankGirl · Jan 21, 2023

Parents! That was the film … thank you Frau from the last thread ! Leftovers … we all
know it’s night meat … anyway what did I just see, the sideboard was RETROSPECTIVELY gone halvseys on? You move into together and then make your true love give you half the money for furniture you already owned …. Did this work both ways? Confused, send cashos and more sideboards ….

Lazarus · Jan 21, 2023

Firstly, condolences to dragon for the loss of their sister

Onto Jack and her RA:

Her GP said it SEEMS she has RA. She cried a lot (assume that’s the photo on the left *cringe*) but onwards and upwards; she’s putting her best face forward.

Every single thing I’ve ever read about this woman confirms to me she has nae pals.

Jelly Bean · Jan 21, 2023

Happy VBI anniversary ninnies

Only a year, and many thousands donated courtesy of Nigella, since Jack said it was was the work of a weekend.
Well we were all stupidly cynical fraus for ever doubting it would appear weren't we?

Geetbo · Jan 21, 2023

Is it this month we’re hoping patreon subscribers will fall off a cliff?

Flivver · Jan 21, 2023

Shame we didn’t have a thread title about the non delivery of the VBI on its anniversary.

Sort of fitting though as it doesn’t actually exist except in the shape of a few lever arch files and in the minds of the rage nans and weirdy neck beardy jackolytes.

Sorry to read about your sister. Sounds like she touched the lives of many in a way that fantasist Jacko could never. Cherish the memories of a good ‘un!

GoLando · Jan 21, 2023

Lazarus said:
Firstly, condolences to dragon for the loss of their sister

Onto Jack and her RA:
View attachment 1898927
Her GP said it SEEMS she has RA. She cried a lot (assume that’s the photo on the left *cringe*) but onwards and upwards; she’s putting her best face forward.

Every single thing I’ve ever read about this woman confirms to me she has nae pals.

“Train to work”

Sure, Jan.

Brian Butterfield · Jan 21, 2023

Lazarus said:
Firstly, condolences to dragon for the loss of their sister

Onto Jack and her RA:
View attachment 1898927
Her GP said it SEEMS she has RA. She cried a lot (assume that’s the photo on the left *cringe*) but onwards and upwards; she’s putting her best face forward.

Every single thing I’ve ever read about this woman confirms to me she has nae pals.

I don't think I have ever seen a picture of Jack with friends.

She's only ever posted selfies. Really makes you think.

Witchfinder Sargeant · Jan 21, 2023

Lazarus said:
Firstly, condolences to dragon for the loss of their sister

Onto Jack and her RA:
View attachment 1898927
Her GP said it SEEMS she has RA. She cried a lot (assume that’s the photo on the left *cringe*) but onwards and upwards; she’s putting her best face forward.

Every single thing I’ve ever read about this woman confirms to me she has nae pals.

"sitting on the train to work"? Even before Covid she "worked" from home, didn't she? You don't need an office space for pissing about on BBC Good Food nicking recipes and ruining them, or screeching at people on twitter, or telling lies to people about being on the game. You can do all that from home or the offices of the people who are mug enough to pay your speaker fee and save yourself the cost of the lease.

Griftymcgriftface · Jan 21, 2023

Karl is back on team Jack again

Jelly Bean · Jan 21, 2023

Don't think I'd seen this before from Lurchio at the time of the first Lee Anderson/Daubney stuff.
Just how much money DID Jack make from all that?

Witchfinder Sargeant · Jan 21, 2023

Brian Butterfield said:
I don't think I have ever seen a picture of Jack with friends.

She's only ever posted selfies. Really makes you think.

The only one I remember seeing is the man who took her to the Arcade Fire concert and she repaid his kindness by facetuning him into a potato.

SmillieKylie · Jan 21, 2023

So it’s Saturday 21st January, the One Year Anniversary of the non-appearance of the Voluptuous Bootilicious Index, and the party has started

Jack has turned up with some of her neck-beard Stans, she’s kicking off a bit, and has brought her lads for support….they might be those randoms she had round her house earlier tonight sitting on the bench she hauled up from a skip.

I’ve sent Kylie Minogue to the party, she hates grifters, they really grind Kylie’s gears, she’s a secret Frau, and she has a few choice words to say to Jack.

Anyway ‘Let’s get this party started”…..it’s been 1 long year of VBI chaos…well nothing really happened, just empty promises, a very strange uneventful year-long chaos it’s been.

DisgruntledGoat · Jan 21, 2023

Griftymcgriftface said:
Karl is back on team Jack again

View attachment 1898937

Karl is utterly bleeping tedious. I know he’s unwell and his flip-flopping is very relevant to the threads because he shows how Jack manipulates the vulnerable into believing she’s just like them, but it’s so frustrating to see how pig-headed people (and especially, I’ve noticed, people with autism) are in going to bat for Jack regardless of what is revealed about her.

NomDeGuerre · Jan 21, 2023

Jelly Bean said:
Don't think I'd seen this before from Lurchio at the time of the first Lee Anderson/Daubney stuff.
Just how much money DID Jack make from all that?

View attachment 1898938

Ralf pisses me off no end. Last year he prattled on about how selfish it is to fly for your holidays, negating to mention he commutes between Florida and the Caribbean multiple times per year.

Lazarus · Jan 21, 2023

I have absolutely no bleeping idea what that thread title is about, btw.

Country Bumpkin · Jan 21, 2023

fuzzypicklehead said:
The skip bench bs annoyed me because I remember she posted a photo of all her plentiful, quirky chair varieties in the garden.

Then during the “preparation to move at some point in the distant future” she posted photos of some of the chairs being disassembled into gently, painstakingly, forensically labelled boxes.

Maybe instead of skip diving, crack open a box of chairs?

Or failing that… sit on a box?

But no, we have to have a performance of dragging crumbling limbs down the road, to drag a bench from a skip, just to draw attention to our pretend poverty and pretend friends.

She is constantly ridiculous. How does she not see it?