Jack Monroe #464 Twitter isn’t compulsory ya prune

[jf99]

LADS.

GK has dropped out of the top 2000

 

[Brian Butterfield]

To clear up any future confusion, Jack’s preferred pronouns are “Me, Myself and I”.

HTH.

 

[Django]

Stand down lads, apparently Jack's thread about JA wasn't about her. It's much bigger than her personal experiences.
View attachment 1894155

JA - had to deal with terrorism at a mosque, a worldwide deadly virus etc etc
JM - had to deal with her mum's spuds being called dire

 

[Brian Butterfield]

“Limp wristed lentil weaving fans”

 

[BurgerLaBill]

That's another line she often uses 'pocketful of stones'. She's referenced suicide by that method before, and also in one of her terrible poems.

M

Maybe Matt Gloss has said no to the paint for favours?

If I was Matt Gloss I'd paint myself the same colour as my shop wall and stay very very still.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Oh she's retweeting lots of stuff now, including this -

"£20 extra per child per wk into child related benefits would give families vital support" - hi, Jack . Perhaps you can reflect on what we've been saying all along - that by pushing the myth that you can feed a family of 3 for £20 a week, you are promoting a tory narrative and completely undermining other concerted efforts to increase benefits. Thanks

 

[jenny2603]

UPDATE: In news that will shock precisely no one, Jack has now blocked this squig.

She can’t handle debate with someone more intelligent than her, can she?

She came so close to having a real friend but her terrible personality worked it's magic.

 

[jenny2603]

What? Noone cares what her gender or sexuality is. She makes sex seem boring.

It's worse than that for me.

Spoiler: Me when someone who isn't Jack mentions sex

Hurrah for the shagging!

Spoiler: Me when Jack mentions sex

Hello, is that the police? I'd like to report the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Didn't she write a poem with the immortal line "I'm just a child with a pocketful of stones"?

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I find it hilarious that every time someone links to a past thread, whatever month/year it was from, the posts could easily have been written today. Because she’s been pulling the same basic shit for years! Bollock sausages, slop, me me me, crumbly shoulders and bullshit.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

PERCHED for her 6,000 word essay drawing direct parallel between people taking the piss out of her #GriftyTips and the scrutiny a world leader faces.

It’ll be like when Richard Madeley was interviewing Bill Clinton and said he knew what the impeachment must have felt like as he was once falsely accused of shoplifting wine.

 

[jenny2603]

Haterz are like Rose West.

 

[jenny2603]

Bit of a usual suspect but a fair point well made. I just worry that Jack is going to see all this negativity and not do the blog.

 

[HotesTilaire]

They are my favourite, and I'm forever grateful for our screenshot heroes who capture all the '@Bootsrapcook there's no pudding rice at Morrison's Newquay this week. Can you help?' - tweets.

I'm always on the edge of my seat. Will Jack help? Will pudding rice reappear? Will the good people of Newquay make a different type of dessert?

Let us remember the greatest of these tweets, the peak of its kind, was a concerned squig who told the twitterverse “Jack, there’s no smart price food in my local Asda, people are wandering round confused; picking things up and putting them back again” the smart price zombiepocalypse

 

[Dogmuck]

Thread title words by @Elsie Ben Felyn originally “Twitter isn’t compulsory you dickhead” amended to remove the swears. Nominated by @Livia Fantasy @Archduchess of Luxembourg and @Lucy Aeroplane Congratulations, you all get to sit on the original BBC big red sofa in the foyer of Media City Salford, if you can find it there.

Jack is crumbling so much she needs helping in and out of cars and cheap cheap chocolate and honey.

Please add to recap

New viewers please read the Wiki which you can access via the pink button above .

Thread title nominations towards the end of the thread please (I realise this is a pointless request)

 

[mince]

View attachment 1891666

A refund shoots out!

TWENTY-FOUR QUID. She opened herself up to weeks of valid, neg tweets from this squig because she wouldn’t refund TWENTY-FOUR QUID. Smug smol’s a bloody idiot.

 

[Geetbo]

We haven't had a squig moaning that beans have gone up by 5p in Sainsbos and asking Jack to go and beat them up for a while have we? I always enjoy that.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Missed this yesterday, but just ran a #VBI search on the Hellsite, only found this comment, looks like even the Squigs have given up on it now, it was sent to Jack but she ignored it. Sad to say think it will just be us celebrating the year anniversary of the non-appearance of the #VBI. Feel quite sad, thought there’d be a bit of a party on the Hellsite this weekend, but it looks like everyone over there including Jack have gently and tenderly let the #VBI evaporate into the ether, gone for good, a fleeting memory of another example of Jack’s ‘Good Work’.

 

[Dogmuck]

Fml the stupid is strong with the stans! So Jack posts a news article, so let’s say it’s “newsworthy” or at least topical and stans conclude it’s Jacks magic that’s got it into the “news” This is why she hasn’t yet been cancelled

 

[Saltfish84]

The reason I think she’s on coke is because she behaves like she’s on coke. The periods of incessant tweeting all night and arguing, followed by “arthritis flare ups” and “ouchy mouth” and “migraines” (headaches from eye strain) - three of the most common side effects of coming down off coke. Her nasal sound. Her sinuses are inflamed in photos too, and her nose has changed.

Amen. And she’s never behaved like a drunk even when not “sober”. A Frau here was at an award do with Jackie during The DrinkingTM and she barely touched a drop but was forever running to the bogs and then sniffing away on her return.

These So HaPpY I aM SoBeR celebs are my aneurysm. I know at least two who forever go on about the joy of no booze on Insta…both are massive coke heads. It’s easy to give up drink if you are out of your tree on the gak (I know them IRL). Pricks.

As you were