Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

[I'm not actually here]

She hasn't thought through her response to refund squig at all. She doesn't need the email address to receive an email, nor to prevent it going to spam.She needs it to go to Patreon, confirm how much is owed, and then she can email the squig herself to set up the refund payment.

(No idea if Patreon offers a refund service; they may well do).

This is her time, whilst logged in to Patreon, to hit Pause. Stupid fucking woman.

 

[Fruitjack]

I’ve been vegetarian for 37 years but the thoughts of putting plain tofu in that pie instead of sausage is making me feel quite peculiar. That plus mealy dull white beans sounds horrific. I might have to take myself over to slopalong and do it.

 

[Foxvint]

View attachment 1883423

What a great mum she is. Splash out "£300" a time on drunk sideboards, but spend not a penny on piano lessons for her son.

7 years of being drunk and frivolous. 7 years. Just proves what a comfortable MC privileged woman she is. If she was working class pissin it all up the wall for 7 years you'd be destitute, homeless or your kid in care.

 

[Lucky Escape]

The tangled insect has piled on, but no other flying monkeys are heeding the call.

Is cuídate the new WARNED?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Would you mind doing one for £14.12? Olia's Patreon is pretty hard to argue against as a benchmark, so let's use it!

ETA: Thanks for all the work you've done on this, btw!

Yeah ofc, I’ll do it once the toddler is in bed. But quick fag packet calc for u, using the 2022 avg of 668 subs per month that’d give her just shy of £100k per annum after 12% fees.

And bless you <I love the dramanumbers Mick.gif> it’s no bother ! But thank you

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Ah, fuck, those recipes are awful. And their intros!

I eat my hat if an Italian friend 'laughed and affectionately nicknamed it la zuppa di uno sciocco', because that's not grammatically correct in Italian. I suspect her Italian friend is google translate. Should be 'la zuppa di un sciocco'.

ETA: It's Con Te Partito all over again.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

As a childhood piano frau who has grade 8 there is no need for someone starting out to have 2 one hour lessons a week. Pretty sure when I started it was 30 min lessons a week, upped to an hour during grammar school when I was doing A level Music and needing grade 8. The main point is you have a lesson and the teacher gives u techniques which u work on all week and the practice time is the main thing. You would probably up it to 2+ lessons if you were showing serious talent to actually break through. Or the other reason is your parents were loaded so wanted to try to fast track you. But there is no benefit for a beginner to have such long lessons.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Bio changed back to #ODAAT Jack

View attachment 1883864

Twitter numbers down again then.
On the plus side her Amazon numbers are increasing

 

[kachoochoo]

the very quick defence of "I'm not buying anything!" when the squig only meant paint definitely means she's bought the flat

unless... paint boy is gifting the paint... maybe in exchange for a tumble with the pumble

im sorry for that image at teatime

 

[Lucky Escape]

Well of course she wouldn’t DREAM of spending money on paint, having just admitted to taking donations and spending them on furniture which she gave away in exchange for more spenny items.

Spending £15,430 on Cotswold sideboards, then giving half of them away in return for a couple of hundred pounds' worth of paint. Bargain!

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Sex work! Sex work!

Sex work sex work
Paint guy is a jerk
Won’t give her any paint
Unless she does a twerk

Soz for that visual it just popped out

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Do you remember when it was Jacks birthday and she was pretending she had friends and they were all together having jolly japes in a wonderful cottage and she was cooking. Then they all carried her cheap books back. Harold’s dad did it
View attachment 1884942

For anyone who missed it...

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Refund squig. An apology for being snarky but not for failing to refund her the cash

View attachment 1886119

She just wants it all to stop? Pause the patreon then. Easy.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

So the Mail and the Times are right wing Tory rags .. or something... But.... The Express is ok. Jackie you hypocritical old coke hag. (did i get that right? )

 

[Brian Butterfield]

WTF

Social Security

The future of social security Bright Blue About the project About the commission Latest analysis

www.socialsecurity.brightblue.org.uk

 

[Smol Pixel]

I see they’ve included the lemon and rosemary potatoes that contain no rosemary

 

[PorkandBeans]

TROLLCLAIMS about the Strawberry Thief curtains:

View attachment 1884966

Didn't she previously claim that they were spares/offcasts from a friend who just happened to have exactly the same-sized windows as her?

Jack - I was living abject poverty. Starving, really. But it was ages ago.

Also Jack - “I did a job for a friend ages ago and refused to let her pay me for it”

Golly. I wonder why people question the pov narrative? Perhaps because no flat-as broke person would REFUSE TO BE PAID?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Yes. And we keep talk about it bringing in "£2000 per month" when it could only be that little if everyone was on the £3.50 tier - and we know that's not true.

Perhaps we should base our calculations on the highest tier, not the lowest. If the true figure is less than that, she'll be able to easily prove it by following Patreon's recommendations and making the figures publicly available.

Something like: "Jack Monroe has taken up to £350,000 from Patreon supporters in the last year alone. She has not sent any of the promised rewards to her backers for 20 months, and has admitted to having blown their money on sideboards and drugs."

(I still think her tipjar is a bigger scandal, but Patreon is less of a black hole)

I saw this on Twitter:

Basically saying somewhere between £1925 and £30800 a month. Imagine if she's getting in excess of £10k a month from donations alone. Extraordinary.

 

[smolscrubb]

Jack's recipe for prawn cocktail is frozen prawns mixed with ready-made, shop-bought seafood sauce

Seafood sauce is literally just mayo and ketchup, plus whatever amount of tabasco, worcestershire sauce, lemon juice you fancy! It's the condiment version of puttanesca! You're meant to be able to easily make it from cupboard ingredients! It's more wasteful and expensive to buy pre-mixed stuff!

Also the idea of grilled *tinned* grapefruit is genuinely distressing.

EDIT: I also regularly make prawn cocktail for my family () and that recipe is the biggest faff I've ever seen. All you need for a good prawn cocktail are big fat prawns, seafood sauce, and lettuce and maybe avocado for the salad, served with a wedge of lemon. It should take 10 minutes to make, tops, it should be simple.

 

[kachoochoo]

There isn't anything new or interesting in the Sunday Express Grifty supplement - I've attached it behind the spoiler below for completeness.

They haven't even named her on the front page advertising it!

View attachment 1883987

Spoiler: Sunday Express Grifty Kitchen

View attachment 1883975
View attachment 1883976
View attachment 1883978View attachment 1883979View attachment 1883980View attachment 1883981View attachment 1883982View attachment 1883983

thrilling to see the raspberry and lemon curd oats here

this is what they actually look like served up irl

my picture from the slopalong - don't do it lads. it also tastes of nothing, believe me