Jack Monroe #452 Pulped Fiction

[Dogmuck]

Thread title nomination by a relatively new frau @bracrumbs - congratulations you win a signed copy of Jack Monroes, released today, book Thrifty Kitchen, sadly it will not include any #Jackhacks that may result in you losing or scolding any of your body parts cos they’ve been taken out by the publisher

Today was book “publication” release day and despite not doing any real previous pushing or advertising Jack was up early telling all her half million followers that today was the day.

She quickly realised (after the first Amazon review was dire in) that “the usual suspects” would be leaving bad reviews and so begged appealed to her half million followers to write positive reviews…wonky volunteered as tribute and so it began…so much has happened today I feel this has to be a group recap…fill your boots, our Jack would say, ninnies

Probs should do the housekeeping. Wiki is the pink button above. When suggesting thread titles please leave it towards the end of the thread and state “Thread title please sirs” Also leave ya potty mouths behind for thread titles but swear like a trooper all you like the rest of the time. Thankyouse

**Mod note: When the threads are as busy as they have been, please resist from posting all the “I’ve got so many pages to catch up, I’m busy, I’ve been at work / out, what’s happening, that post was so funny” etc.- it just adds to the scrolling and clogs up the thread. Use the reactions and keep the thread to Jack, not her stans and ease up on the poems please!**

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

First

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Here’s a little treat from moon app on this glorious day:

 

[traumatised sideboard]

If only she'd consulted one of those many psephologists she knows, she could've seen this coming a mile off.

 

[hoopdedoo]

If there really is a Guardian story in the works - especially if it's already been printed in advance in a supplement - Guardian HQ must be right about now...

 

[DoritoTamales]

@Kinney did a pretty great job summing it up around tea time for fraus coming back to the threads for a post-work grunk:

“The book has become a meme
Amazon has halted reviews
PanMacmillan have had to release a statement saying that they’re aware the book is dangerous so they’re reprinting with a disclaimer.
The Trussell Trust (who the book is supposed to benefit) are distancing themselves and are refusing to accept copies in its current form because of all the dangerous info.

…on day one of publication. Jeeeeeesus.”

 

[RinsedHoops]

I cannot keep up with this level of chaoi.

 

[jenny2603]

If only she'd consulted one of those many psephologists she knows, she could've seen this coming a mile off.

I blame Viv (RIP) and Courtney Love for not speaking up.

 

[jf99]

Frauen.....its been a long day, but can we just take a minute to appreciate what the scene must be like in the crappy bungalow right now. I imagine it will be littered with tin cans ripped open by Jack's bare hands, and not a single radiator left on the wall.

Chaos beyond our wildest dreams x

 

[That Forensic Man]

Save money by collecting carabinas from the garden
Note all carabinae are interchangeable x

 

[Marj24]

If there really is a Guardian story in the works - especially if it's already been printed in advance in a supplement - Guardian HQ must be right about now...

I've no sympathy, they've enabled her far too long

 

[BlendedSlop]

@Kinney did a pretty great job summing it up around tea time for fraus coming back to the threads for a post-work grunk:

“The book has become a meme
Amazon has halted reviews
PanMacmillan have had to release a statement saying that they’re aware the book is dangerous so they’re reprinting with a disclaimer.
The Trussell Trust (who the book is supposed to benefit) are distancing themselves and are refusing to accept copies in its current form because of all the dangerous info.

…on day one of publication. Jeeeeeesus.”

...and Jack has completely ignored all the above, spending her day copy-pasting "Thankyou " to squigs telling her they've bought her book full of potential deathtraps.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Question: What’s got one and 3 half fingers and the internet’s biggest dumpster fire?

Spoiler: Answer:

THIS Gal!!!

 

[Nonah]

FYI Fraus, this week’s LA Not So Confidential podcast is about Pathological Liars.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Oh God, where to begin?

After the #ThriftyKitchen hashtag turned into a mix of sheer incredulity and pisstaking, PanMacmillan pulled the ebook and removed the thrifty tip which could result in you losing fingers. They put a disclaimer in the back that basically said "if you chop a finger off it's not our fault la la la la la la" and legal fraus said this was nonsense.

They put a statement on the website saying that the hack should not be attempted by anyone and were a specific response to Jack's DIRE POVERTY. The Trussell Trust said they weren't going to distribute the book to their clients without an addendum saying "that thing with the knife? don't do that, we'll give you a free tin opener, just ask." Also they had no editorial control over the book but were very grateful for everything Jack did.

Jack has been very quiet.

Basically

 

[hoopdedoo]

I've no sympathy, they've enabled her far too long

Believe me, I wasn't making a statement of sympathy.

 

[Lostcat]

Save money by collecting carabinas from the garden
All carabinae are interchangeable x

View attachment 1858032

If you grind up some carabina in your bullet blender, and add:

• 9 fat cloves of garlic
• 1/16th tablespoon of tarragon
• 100ml of the liquid that has collected at the bottom of your kitchen bin...you will have a healthy and sustaining meal for 10 people!

 

[SendReceive]

If there really is a Guardian story in the works - especially if it's already been printed in advance in a supplement - Guardian HQ must be right about now...

Saw this bit and was like

But then I was like

 

[Limey]

Ninnies, its all moving too fast - her book launch is going as well as Harry's I see. Sadly no anecdotes about Old Harold's frostbitten penis. Maybe THAT'S what happened in Dordrecht.

 

[Marj24]

Believe me, I wasn't making a statement of sympathy.

I didn't think you were, tenderstem x