Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[shugabug23]

GOODNIGHT! And I’ll be back in 37 seconds

 

[BlendedSlop]

Every time I open Twitter she's somehow managing to out-cringe herself. Can whoever she's currently trying to snare with this desperate Peaky Blinders cosplay please just put us all out of our misery and reply to her texts?

 

[shugabug23]

77p! Oh I’m gonna have to send for the off licence to deliver if she carries on like this!!!

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I remember being so confused by all her references to trolls etc as there was normally nothing by praise under her tweets (things have obv shifted now) but it's clear she reads these threads as if they are messages being sent TO her. A bit like when she'd jump into the comments section on the guardian.

Main character syndrome.

It's like when you tell kids "I was talking about you not to you".

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I love it when she sprays her fury at hapless squigs defending her like a demented catherine wheel

 

[MavisBeacon]

My thoughts exactly. Why can't she just answer the question without doing a massive look at all the bad things that happened to poor ole me- rail.

Same as the silly story about her sponsor finding the sign in the shed - unnecessary detail that immediately gets your lie-dy senses tingling. Just say the sign was an early housewarming gift from a lovely friend, and that the guitar was a generous gift from your ex. All the rest of the detail and special pleading is what makes it sound dodgy. Also nice weaponised ssobriety with the mention of the sponsor, and weaponised povving with mentioning having to sell stuff for the rent.
Again, Jack (HI!! GO WALK YOUR SON'S DOG AND TOUCH SOME GRASS) - all of this mithering and questioning is the result of your oversharing and unprofessional behaviour on social media.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Spoiler: Nickname chat ..

I mentioned this ... A couple of years ago .. but I used to go to a bar in Edinburgh (the Old Bell), and was told that the barmaid's nickname was Tits, and that everyone called her that.

Naturally, I found out in the most horrific way, that her nickname was in fact Titch.

It was the 80s

 

[shugabug23]

Oh she’s taken a right nasty turn now. I hate this part of the chaos

 

[shugabug23]

Please god this one works!

 

[Emmapism]

I tell you what I am interested in. You funny fuckers. Jack on a rant is of zero interest to me. But she stokes the fire of this hilarity and I LOVE IT.

Long live this band of mithering arsehole Ninnies.

 

[SnowyCal]

Yup. My mental health is on the floor at the moment. Worst it’s been for some time and I really don’t want to be here anymore. But I am still managing to parent and be there for my child and he has no idea how awful I’m feeling. My OH is not remotely supportive either. Jack doesn’t fucking know she’s born. Nasty, selfish cunt.

Sorry to hear this. From a stranger on the internet, I’m glad you are here. There are so many people that are happy that you exist & are part of their life. I hope things start to get better for you but I’ve been there & it’s a hard hole to get out of, but better times are ahead. X

 

[streby]

Only a narc would think the CEO and managers at twitter aren't aware some people have multiple accounts and if you block one you don't block all. How patronising does she sound.
Is she really using this as a way to divert heat.

But 15 Tweets! With gifs! Finally Jack is campaigning on an issue she cares about! That issue is herself but it's a start!

 

[jenny2603]

Jacksceptic squigs aren’t stupid, they’ll just report each Tweet as spam.

I would piss myself if she ends up getting booted off Twitter for spamming people right before her book comes out.

 

[Satisfying Click]

"I do my own housework." Didn't we speculate that she has a cleaner, earlier?

 

[Geetbo]

i started today with the full intention of finishing an imminent essay and i managed to write about 200 words. THANKS A LOT JACK.

Babe same x

I have a 4000 word assignment due on 16th January and instead I’m laughing at the thought of squigs merrily stabbing cans of spam.

 

[jenny2603]

I am hoping the new book gets a page by page review in a special dedicated thread

If anyone is going to buy a copy, can they make themselves known on here. The last thing we want is about fifty of us buying a copy and enriching the slopgibbon.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Routinely escorted around by a rolling roster of protective hunks. Alright, Im'a head out. The cringe has cringed it's last.

 

[MooBelle]

I don't follow the nonsense closely on Twitter (mostly because she's blocked me) but there is an anti account that is claiming the dog was hers but she had a tantrum over the summer and SB's dad took it in and Content has been there ever since. Also names SB's dad.
My guess would be (and it is only a guess m'lud) that it is in some way related to SB's stepmum.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Hm. She has missed an opportunity to boost the Bookshop/Trussell Trust promotion. Probably for the best, though, given the genuine uselessness of the book to actual food bank users.

I bet all the independent bookshops who've been busy today promoting her book today are loving Jack spamming out half-price Amazon and Waterstones links.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Please please can someone do a tiktok parody channel of Jack's shit hacks where everything is more expensive and/or dangerous than the regular thing.
Save on your water bills by cooking with puddle water!
Use a drill to mash potatoes!
if you don't have any forks or cocktail sticks, use the back of a Tiffany earring to prick your jacket potato before baking