Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[Falkor]

Words by @blurstoftimes nominated by @Ooointitot - your prize is a box each from Jack's packing pile.

Jack is continuing to complain about the canal keeping tabs on her spending. @Bugger13 found out their stepbrother and wife once had Jack to stay and confirmed she was surgically attached to her phone.

She also found a large neon sign in her shed which was sent to her by a friend, but conveniently the brambly mice had eaten the paperwork, so she didn't know where it came from.

Wiki is the pink button up top, please use 'thread title' when nominating one.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

You cannot eat a book.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Great title. Another example of how she’s Schrödingers poor person, both the poorest poor ever, but also look at my nice spenny things…

 

[WhyYouCry?]

In positive news, Jack’s anti poverty campaigning and book promotion has been going really well over the past couple of months

 

[Nurseali]

She really is the most rubbish of parents.
Even Katie Price credits her kids as the reason she carries on. Not her bleeping dog.

To be worse than KP really is a low.

 

[Geetbo]

I do wonder if she is actually moving. And if so when. The chaos will be amazing if she really has bought and doesnt have an evil landlady to blame for all things wrong in her home.

 

[Hold my beans]

Where's Mom when she needs her?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

She's off again then? All aboard frauen!

 

[Mitzymooface]

Where's Mom when she needs her?

Cornwall, going by her socials.

 

[Hollaaa]

Carrying this forward from Ms Sawyer in the last thread - that's a lot of words for 'no'.

 

[jenny2603]

This is great. I knew she couldn't stay quiet forever. SHAME on Rosemary for silencing Jack and trying to take our chaos. Three cheers for Agent Adrian- rob her blind again mate you've earned every penny.

 

[camotea]

Is she going to own a house by way of someone
leaving it in the shed, deeds soaked in mouse pee? How could she justify it? I imagine the squigs won’t mind her being a homeowner because they all are so it’ll just be glossed over. LIKE THE EELS HAVE BEEN GLOSSED OVER

 

[Deeznutslol]

Forgive me for the ignorance but what is this sponsor she keeps talking about? Like what is their role?

 

[blurstoftimes]

ah I am now experiencing my own jack-style inner conflict: i am both flattered to have had my words chosen for the thread yet devastated that it took recognition away from 'The mice ate my paperwork'

 

[jenny2603]

Is she going to own a house by way of someone
leaving it in the shed, deeds soaked in mouse pee? How could she justify it? I imagine the squigs won’t mind her being a homeowner because they all are so it’ll just be glossed over. LIKE THE EELS HAVE BEEN GLOSSED OVER

Jack could have a giant Faberge egg constructed for her to live in and the paypigs would still be sending the cashos and insisting she needs help for being a poor smol fragile ickle pixie. The neckbeards don't want their money going to some real poor who doesn't post selfies for them to wank over, what a nice guy wants is a raunchy piece who will indulge their saviour complex and dress up perving on a younger woman as a moral duty. One can't help but notice that they never cape up for James from Depher the way they do for ickle Jack.

 

[Observ@h]

I do wonder if she is actually moving. And if so when. The chaos will be amazing if she really has bought and doesnt have an evil landlady to blame for all things wrong in her home.

She’ll be moving into a place her family owns or are paying for, and she’ll continue the “ugh this place is cold/draughty/falling down” moans, and her family will have to keep schtum while they help her and she makes them look awful, for ever and ever.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Where's Mom when she needs her?

I wonder if *any* blue ticks are going to recommend her book

 

[Hollaaa]

I wonder if *any* blue ticks are going to recommend her book

Legacy blue ticks - no.
Paid for sock ticks - possible.

 

[Nurseali]

So in HH2 she is selling her camera equipment (again) is this the camera that her ex replaced along with a guitar.?
If so how did she take a picture of the tree on Instagram.
So many cameras so many lies.

 

[streby]

I do wonder if she is actually moving. And if so when. The chaos will be amazing if she really has bought and doesnt have an evil landlady to blame for all things wrong in her home.

My guess is she's not moving at all, but having to pretend she is because of HH2 and explaining that she can't afford to live there as the rent is 95% of her income. I think there's going to be increasing worries about not having somewhere to go and she'll be forced to sign another contract for the crappy bungalow and now she has to stay there forever, followed by a very big rattle of the tip-jar since she still can't afford it, especially with the rent increase which is now 110% of her income (I didn't do the maths there I just guessed). If any of you lovely neckbeards could sign up to my Patreon and bung us a few quid to pay for SB's shoes, which he eats every time I turn my back, I'd be such a wee happy pixie!

However there's also a part of me that say no, Jack's not actually an evil mastermind, she doesn't plan ahead like this and she really is planning to move and it's just that she's weird and packs six months before she has a new place to go and books deliveries to homes she isn't paying for yet. In which case I do hope she can find somewhere to live, although I am very much aware that she's not likely to end up on the street and can afford quite a good property to live in if she wants one.