Jack Monroe #433 Let them eat copies of Thrifty Kitchen

[WTFDidIJustSee]

One of my kids loves cleaning and is naturally neat and tidy so I pay them to do a fixed list of generic household chores once a week. Nothing personal, no chemicals, no crappy toilets - even at mid-teens, that isn't appropriate. Hoovering, wiping surfaces, that sort of thing.

Until they reached a certain age and were old enough to want to earn money and have some independence, I don't think any of mine were even aware of tasks like cleaning the toilet or wiping door handles. These are things that no child should ever have on their radar. My lot grew up knowing that playing with things also meant tidying away when they'd finished, in an age appropriate sense: "Have we finished with this one? OK then, let's put that away so we don't stand on it and break it." "Have you finished with your paints? Let's clean the brushes then so they don't go hard and yucky and you'll be able to use them again tomorrow." By the age of 8, when most kids are having friends over and can play safely in a different room, they could do whatever they wanted in their bedroom or playroom and let loose, but they also knew it didn't all magically put itself away afterwards. We always went through the motions of doing that together, even if their contribution was just picking up the occasional lego brick to throw in the bucket.

I'm horrified that a parent - or any adult - thinks they are appropriate 'chores' for an 8 year old. And not only appropriate, but deserving of praise, to be shared with hundreds of thousands of strangers for pats on the back for parenting skills. When my lot were 8, cleaning products were safely out of reach, not offered out in return for 10 minutes of YouTube unboxing videos.

Making an 8 year old aware that every time they go to the toilet they're making a mess that they have to clean, or that touching handles leaves dirt that must be sprayed and wiped, is SO pyschologically damaging.

I'm appalled in a way that none of the other stuff - the grifting, the snark, the inability to cook - has even come near.

ETA: Sorry bit of a merail there, I'm just trying to contextualise this in my own head and I just cannot.

Agree with all of this.

My 7YO has a range of gut issues due to the life saving cocktail of IV antibiotics she was given for a week at birth due to being born with sepsis, and to say she annihilates the toilet whenever she goes for a poo is an understatement. There is not a chance in hell I’d make her clean it up!

Chore wise, she tidies her toys up, pops her coat/shoes/bag where they belong when she gets in, and for some reason that I cannot fathom, she loves pairing up the socks when I’ve done laundry. I hate doing that so I’m happy to chuck an extra quid in her pocket money for doing that When the Robovac is out, she sits controlling it like it’s hilarious.

Teens - dishwasher, wipe kitchen surfaces, put the insane assortment of bath/shower products they use back on the shelves when they’ve done, put their clean, dry laundry away. One of them loves cooking so twice a week, she cooks for us all. The other despises cleaning but loves tidying/organising (she’s the other ADHD flavour to me, I find it tedious) so I’ll randomly find here rejigging various areas of the house (and tbf she’s GIFTED at it).

If they want extra pocket money, they do extra. Ranges from dragging the Henry out to hoover the edges/corners/beams (dusty old cottage), to helping me steam clean (I’m not a chemical fan, Toilet duck, anti bac spray and mould cleaner are all I have in the house) the bathroom/tiled floors downstairs, take over the Karcher for the single glazed windows for the week. Simple stuff but makes my life easier so it gets them extra money.

Their bedroom - aside from making sure they’ve put their laundry away, I don’t get involved. It’s their space. We have a cleaner once a fortnight and they know if there’s crap all over the floor/stuff everywhere their bedroom won’t get hoovered or dusted and they’ll have to do it themselves. More often than not, they’ll do a mad tidy the night before.

 

[Fleasyweezy]

Bunnies are very delicate and require proper care, most eight-year-olds aren't equipped to do this. It sounds like Jack basically had SB taking care of the pets for her because she couldn't be arsed to do it. She also had him using chemicals (household sprays can be quite potent) and getting in little digs ("it's you that wees on it?")

Yeah, of all the mixed emotions I felt reading that list, it was the snarky comment “it’s you that wees on it” that really got to me. That poor child; I just hope that his father is able to limit the damage of Jack’s behaviour on SB’s emotional development but I do fear for his long term mental well-being.

 

[Everytown]

I knew my cat had been cheating on me because he came home smelling of someone else's perfume... literally been getting his cuddles from another woman!

One of our neighbours' cat always came round to ours for quiet time (they'd just had a baby) and proper cuddles (they'd never had a cat before, so didn't have the moves). We were a bit worried when she then turned up with a GPS tag on her collar...

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Looking back, I think from the outset both I and Mrs Everytown figured there was something not quite right about JM, and were mutually unconvinced by her prolier-tan-thou persona. She just never seemed particularly genuine or convincing when she appeared on TV, and Mrs E - a far better cook that me (with my three signature dishes and nothing else) - certainly always scoffed at any food "advice" she seemed to be imparting. Neither of use were aware of the sheer depths of her duplicity, though.

Same, I vaguely knew of her but found out about her properly through those emails from Twitter that has suggested Tweets. (No idea if Id followed her at some point or the recommendations are based on who I already followed).

She always came up and every time it would be something that went against her "principles" or alleged poverty, and if you looked further there would be those three or four follow up Tweets that explained how in this very unique case it was different/possible.

It really wound me up so I'd Google stuff like "jack monroe liar" and "jack monroe head" every now and then but couldn't find any evidence of others thinking the same ... until I found this place. I think a lot of people have doubts but feel bad about it until they realise it's not just them? In other groups if you even suggest you doubt her you get crucified.

 

[Mme Coco]

God that chore list.

Expecting him to hoover the stairs at 8?? That's so dangerous.

Shaming him for leaving poo marks and wee on the toilet instead of speaking to him like a normal person in private and telling him calmly to wipe it down, instead of writing it down on a list and putting it on the internet??

Expecting him to clean the bathroom in general at that age is completely out of order. Did she even bother to tell him to make sure he's washed his hands properly afterwards or is she just bothered about how clean the room is for her to then use later?

He will resent her when he's older if he doesn't already, this is so embarrassing for him. It makes him look inept when he was just a normal 8 year old.

He certainly will remember it when he’s older. I’m absolutely appalled at the chore list and I can’t begin to imagine what the kick-off would be like if anything wasn’t done to JM’s liking.
Can’t get the Me-rail spoiler up but my mum has a formal NPD diagnosis and this behaviour around chores is familiar from my childhood and nothing more than a sadistic power trip. I actually can’t watch ‘Mommie Dearest’ as it’s so triggering, I was once made to remake my bed eight times until the apple pie corners were done to the matrinarc’s satisfaction. It stays with you, inevitably I’m now no contact.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

Sorry to be off-topic but can any of you lovely peeps recommend a cookery book for my teenager (15) for Christmas? He’s showing a real interest recently and I thought it might be nice to buy him one that we can kinda work through together…

 

[houseofhoop]

Fucks sake frauen. I had a Jack related dream last night. We moved into her old rental. Oh my good god that place was a state. Kitchen was DIRE. Food splattered up the units and sticky fat dust everywhere. I had a melt down and my OH (didn’t leave) had to hire some professionals to deep clean. In the garden she had basically dumped all her old tit for us to deal with.
Was not happy.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

'43. Mamas room open curtains neatly'

Open your own curtains neatly, you lazy bleeping laughing stock.

My kids chores are mostly just too keep their crap tidy and help me keep their crap tidy, put their clothes in washing machine/ basket and clear up plates and cups that they leave at their arse. They also help with washing up and dusting when i ask them.

 

[houseofhoop]

Fucks sake frauen. I had a Jack related dream last night. We moved into her old rental. Oh my good god that place was a state. Kitchen was DIRE. Food splattered up the units and sticky fat dust everywhere. I had a melt down and my OH (didn’t leave) had to hire some professionals to deep clean. In the garden she had basically dumped all her old tit for us to deal with.
Was not happy.

Quoting myself like the absolute maverick I am, but I’m still really angry about it all, and is NOT bleeping REAL!!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Bitching and moaning about having the “mental load” of bills and responsibilities, that’s because YOU ARE THE PARENT, JACK. If it’s his job to clean the toilet because he’s the one that gets wee on the seat, why is he doing chores in your room that he doesn’t use?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

God that list of chores is absolutely foul. ‘Wipe toilet seat top and bottom. It’s you that wees on it!’ Humiliating and shaming him. And giving him a massive long list that makes Anne of Green Gables look lazy.

And all on her public open instagram account. I don’t follow her and I can see the post.

Why does she do this? Why does she parent so badly and so publicly?

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She is a bit tight too. My kids get 2.50 a week for their money boxes if they complete all of their chore list and i am happy with the tidiness( maintained tidiness, of their room etc) they are 10 and six.

They save that money for a few weeks and i take them to get themselves a treat or they can choose to buy sweets with it on payday, knowing they will have less for a toy treat later on. I also encourage them to spilt half of their money box money to put into their banks and the other half for treats to enourage saving.

She seems to have no concept of money management and fair pay.

 

[Ablemabel]

Yeah, of all the mixed emotions I felt reading that list, it was the snarky comment “it’s you that wees on it” that really got to me. That poor child; I just hope that his father is able to limit the damage of Jack’s behaviour on SB’s emotional development but I do fear for his long term mental well-being.

That list is bloody awful. The nasty tone comes right through. That's true of all of Jack's writing. You don't have to look too far to see the bitterness.

It makes me weep reading it, even if as I suspect it's partially performative. Either way it's a terrible look.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

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I just charge them for the books and

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that actually sounds really nice, but neither croutons made of stuffing nor Christmas ceaser salad are new.

Also, that is not a ceaser salad.

 

[jenny2603]

That list is bloody awful. The nasty tone comes right through. That's true of all of Jack's writing. You don't have to look too far to see the bitterness.

It makes me weep reading it, even if as I suspect it's partially performative. Either way it's a terrible look.

Her attitude to SB is bizarre. From the way she talks you'd be forgiven for thinking she's a jealous older sibling rather than a parent. There's the spiteful chore list, the horrible cheap food whilst she spends a fortune on herself and stealing his clothes and toys at every opportunity. It's just awful. I hope he cuts her off the second he's old enough.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Sorry to be off-topic but can any of you lovely peeps recommend a cookery book for my teenager (15) for Christmas? He’s showing a real interest recently and I thought it might be nice to buy him one that we can kinda work through together…

Chetna’s 30 minute indian is on sale for £10.50 on Amazon at the mo if that’s your sort of thing. I haven’t got it yet but I’ve watched her doing a lot of the recipes and they look super easy and yummy.

@houseofhoop - I had a SEX dream about her when I went back to sleep this morning. FFS. She was in my house and pressing against my back while I was trying to knead some dough but I couldn’t find my flour.

Really need to read some brain cleansing stuff before going to sleep

 

[Readingismyhobby]

The label for putting the dishes away is disgusting - "use your eyes and brain". witch

My mother used similar tactics. When I was 12 ish (and later) I would be sent to the shops with a list. If a listed item wasn’t available I wouldn’t get it. She used to go mad because “I should have used my brain “ and bought an alternative. But I didn’t know what an alternative was!

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

Lists, cataloging, indexes, inventories....if she spent as much time doing constructive work as she did compiling all these ridiculous piles of tripe that never come to anything, she might actually have carved a proper career for herself. The list for SB is utterly loathsome

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Sorry to be off-topic but can any of you lovely peeps recommend a cookery book for my teenager (15) for Christmas? He’s showing a real interest recently and I thought it might be nice to buy him one that we can kinda work through together…

How about the new Jamie Oliver book One?

 

[Shawads]

@MancBee if this is true I will be your forever friend. I sometimes feel so alone in this hellscape of catloverrrs . I hope this isn't just a cruel in joke and really MB is the greatest catfan of them all

I stand with @Shawads and @MancBee
[/QUOTE]
Solidarity.
We have to be careful not to start a faction / splinter group.
Jack will use anything to divide and conquer us, deploying coops / content is her MO , we must be careful not to blindly fall under their spell.

Safety In numbers.
United we stand ‍🦮‍🦺

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Her attitude to SB is bizarre. From the way she talks you'd be forgiven for thinking she's a jealous older sibling rather than a parent. There's the spiteful chore list, the horrible cheap food whilst she spends a fortune on herself and stealing his clothes and toys at every opportunity. It's just awful. I hope he cuts her off the second he's old enough.

Someone on here a while back guessed that she probably actually serves him a lot of ready meals/freezer food (like her famous fake fish pie.) That’s better than slop three times a day but still disgusting considering how much she spends on herself