No he wasn’t DEAD til November 2012 after she was IN POVERTY for a YEAR. She made ART about it! Do you want her to STOP BREATHING?!Was her chipshop job at her grandpa's chipshop, or was he DEAD by then?
No he wasn’t DEAD til November 2012 after she was IN POVERTY for a YEAR. She made ART about it! Do you want her to STOP BREATHING?!Was her chipshop job at her grandpa's chipshop, or was he DEAD by then?
Yes dear old millionaire granddad couldn't even give her a few quid for food and did nothing whilst she lived rough and went on the game but he's somehow Jack's favourite relative.No he wasn’t DEAD til November 2012 after she was IN POVERTY for a YEAR. Do you want her to STOP BREATHING?!
Police horses, at a club? In Southend? Give overTime for another POEM! about herself (and, apparently @Doddery old dear who gets a shout out No word on whether there was musical accompaniment to this one. She can pop in and let us know when she catches up)
The Councillors are no longer her friends and she’s feeling ANGRY. AS. HELL.
This poem is brought to you by tit Poetry Jack and the letters F. U. C. K.
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PS if you’re in the mood for a palate cleansing PROPER and TALENTED creative interlude after that,
can I please direct you this way to the slopalong. Volumes UP please, ninnies and all hail the intrepid and talented @binkbonkSlopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
Tender ones, I am stuck home with Covid and the slopalong is giving me life and brining me back to health. I am a very keen baker and I think I’m not bad at it. Alas I have no Jack recipe books anymore having dispensed of them long ago when I got wise to the grift. Would a kind Frau consider...tattle.life
Having the best year of her life until her son came and RUINED it all for her by consuming, shitting and DESTROYING all her money (sounds more like her, really?)Pre-SB she also claimed to be working part time in a cafe and in a night club while also doing her fire service shifts. I bet she was horrendously unreliable at all three of them.
This just sums up Jack’s audience…someone who can afford to throw away a tenner like it’s nothing because they got angry at a parody making fun of someone they don’t even know. By Jack’s logic that’s half of a week’s food for a whole family! They probably think they’re such a good #kind person helping the poor by defending saint Jack against the trolls.
John Cooper Clarke she ain'tTime for another POEM! about herself (and, apparently @Doddery old dear who gets a shout out No word on whether there was musical accompaniment to this one. She can pop in and let us know when she catches up)
The Councillors are no longer her friends and she’s feeling ANGRY. AS. HELL.
This poem is brought to you by tit Poetry Jack and the letters F. U. C. K.
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PS if you’re in the mood for a palate cleansing PROPER and TALENTED creative interlude after that,
@binkbonkSlopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
Tender ones, I am stuck home with Covid and the slopalong is giving me life and brining me back to health. I am a very keen baker and I think I’m not bad at it. Alas I have no Jack recipe books anymore having dispensed of them long ago when I got wise to the grift. Would a kind Frau consider...tattle.life
Be fair now, jenny numbers. She wasn’t in PROSTITUTION AND STEALING FOOD TO SURVIVE until 2013, when she also got her full time newspaper job on the Southend Echo, a Fortnum’s award for blog of the year, a book contract with a £25,000 advance, a weekly Guardian column, and a PoPo fiancée with her own home. All that and her grandad was STILL DEAD too.Yes dear old millionaire granddad couldn't even give her a few quid for food and did nothing whilst she lived rough and went on the game but he's somehow Jack's favourite relative.
Maybe it's my hormones but the way she describes that child is abhorrent and knocks me sick I'm sure everyone might have a moan about their child's behaviour and lament the childfree days from time to time but she does it all the time and not in private!!! By all accounts (including her own) he is a polite, sweet boy.Having the best year of her life until her son came and RUINED it all for her by consuming, shitting and DESTROYING all her money (sounds more like her, really?)
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Quoting myself like a twit, but there are two things for which I will eternally be grateful to Edwina Currie.No he wasn’t DEAD til November 2012 after she was IN POVERTY for a YEAR. She made ART about it! Do you want her to STOP BREATHING?!
But she is a twitJohn Cooper Clarke she ain't
She's definitely the SH1TTER.Having the best year of her life until her son came and RUINED it all for her by consuming, shitting and DESTROYING all her money (sounds more like her, really?)
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Thank you for gathering the evidence Vali our Receipts Queen! Yes there are some people who, whilst perfectly physically and mentally capable, are serially unemployable because of their attitude. We've all worked with one at some point. They're always hopelessly outraged that they actually have to take orders and direction in order to merit the hourly salary to which they believe they should be entitled for simply existing. They are very keen to know what the company can do for them, but have no interest in doing anything for the company. They are the type to nitpick every line of their contract and try to pull every last blag going, they will moan and time waste, anything but work. Team spirit means nothing to them, so all their colleagues despise them, because the rest of us are always having to cover their shifts or rescue their screw-ups. They are inveterate pullers of the unconvincing sickie ("I woke up with bumps on my ankles so can't walk to the bus stop" is still the best one I've heard.). They usually last 3 months max before quitting, being fired or just leaving one day and never showing up again and not answering their phone. If they are especially attitudinal they might try to claim unfair dismissal, and their union rep will review their case for approximately 9.5 seconds before shrieking with laughter and hurling it into the bin.I think that Jack is LEGITIMATELY unemployable
No real job apart from a few months as a trainee reporter in 2013 since she LEFT the fire service in 2011.
Left school at 16, joined fire service at 20. In those four years she worked in AT LEAST the below
Grandad’s Chip Shop
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Debenhams with Dazza , ‘curing meats’ in the supermarket EYE-ROLL, PLEEZ which I’m assuming is…
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…Never amount to anything Asda of the SPITE revisit
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A FREEZING clothing warehouse where she had a challenging role
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The coffee shop where she met her son’s long long long suffering dad
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And finally not yet listed above, MULTIPLE entry level customer facing retail jobs (minus 2 for Debenhams hot plate and Asda above), cafes, bartender, potwash (at grandad’s restaurant/shithole guesthouse and/or elsewhere?), fast food industry-something, waitress (at grandad’s restaurant/shithole guesthouse and/or elsewhere?).
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*chambermaid I’m being generous and not counting in the 4 years as she said she did it in grandad’s shithole guesthouse while at school.
That’s a fuckton of jobs to get through in 4 years. Love how she had to leave Southend to work in Basildon eventually. They’d prolly all heard about her in Southend by that point. (Or maybe she was fired from them all for stealing a scalpel but didn’t tell her boss?)
Also lol that high staff turnover Grandad apparently didn’t want to keep employing her either!
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After the fire service SHE LEFT her 2012 pub job after mere weeks, was fired from her 2012 folk music art coffee job after 8 days, LEFT another 2012 job to become self employed, Became a trainee reporter in Feb 2013, LEFT that job in Summer 2013 when the guardian came calling.
How fortunate she is that she’s spent the last ten years being a talentless, lying, grifting charlatan bleep with a fake backstory and getting paid handsomely for it. Because she sure as tit can’t hold down a real job. She’d better keep her legsclosedopen and snag a rich sugar daddy and new SB STAT!
I translated that anecdote as "I spent three hours leaning on the bar chatting up rich older women instead of pulling pints"There was something I read about when she did a shift trial at a pub, and she never got yo use her "degree", but she said she did get to talk about it (to the punters). What she means is she basically tried to convey "I'm better than this" (I'm better than you) and that's exactly why she bangs on about thr 27k a year job - it's to make sure we know she's better than this, she's better than the other people in this situation. "I'm like you, I'm just one of you guys...but better"
Wasn't this before she got her honorary degrees as well? Like yeah I've done tit jobs where I would much rather have been using my degree but 1) I actually have one and 2) I have the accompanying student loan to try and pay off one day. Lying about it is beyond pathetic.There was something I read about when she did a shift trial at a pub, and she never got yo use her "degree", but she said she did get to talk about it (to the punters). What she means is she basically tried to convey "I'm better than this" (I'm better than you) and that's exactly why she bangs on about thr 27k a year job - it's to make sure we know she's better than this, she's better than the other people in this situation. "I'm like you, I'm just one of you guys...but better"
Would you call it a lingering honk?Jack is definitely one of these people. I can smell it on her from here.
Woooooaaaahhhhh I missed this. What in the everloving HELL is that poem???? Sheesh, everyone has GOT to read that poem, woooaaahhh! There are no words!!!!! It's like if Philip Larkin and Johnny Rotten overdosed on gone-off salad bag pesto! And had an unsuccessful orgy!Police horses, at a club? In Southend? Give over
Maybe Elon is squishing bots/bought followersHer twitter follower count is dropping steadily.
The squigs are waking up and smelling the coffeeslop