Jack Monroe #42

[GrunkaLunka]

I've got to say a big thanks to Vlad for paying us so well, I'm really impressed with my new vacuum cleaner.

Guys, I can't believe you're doubting that hundreds of people have messaged her to say they're removing all DW books from their schools, libraries and bookshops. Why would she lie about that. It's not like she's trying to cause a pile on and get him cancelled.

She will probably show us the receipts at any moment. She's just blanking out the names quickly.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Which bit of the original recipe did they actually use?

The saucepan.

 

[Silver Linings]

*tip jar*

 

[moglits]

It's very coven-like! Covens are like family and often even closer.

I am deadly serious when I say that I have found comfort, laughter, warmth, and wisdom in the company of internet strangers on here. I'm not alien to the concept of the internet being a source of community, but strangely, knowing you Tattlers are there - with your shared experiences, compassion, kindness, and wit - is a bigger source of comfort to me that I'd readily care to admit. COVEN LOVE.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Does anyone else feel like suddenly the scales seem to be falling from people’s eyes and looking at these old clips, well it is a little like that Rachel Dolezal still posted earlier- like how did no one SEE it? Hiding in plain sight sort of thing. She really has spun quite the tale. I’m not being awful either but six to twelve months of any experience doesn’t make you an expert. Students go travelling for that long it doesn’t make them Alan fucking Whicker!

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Jack Monroe #43: the devil('s herb) works hard but Jack works harder

 

[Harrybosch]

Her net worth is apparently £1m

Sorry, but where is that figure from? I don't think she's poor, but given she doesn't own property (shocker) I doubt this is true.

I’m not sure David W has made 100 million from his books. He’s had 100 million pounds worth of sales. She knows how the industry works. He will get a percentage

Just ran some calculations using the Monroe method. His overall royalties come to 17p.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Nah, you just need to scrub your nails you massive scruff.

Right. Weird that her Greek Cypriot pigments seem to collect right under the nails like she's been digging up potatoes with her bare hands

 

[colouredlines]

From that peanut butter article:

Jack Monroe uses salted peanuts because they tend to be cheaper, then roasts them again “to deepen the flavour”. As she rinses them afterwards, they are not overpoweringly salty

Of course she does

 

[moldwarp]

"this gaunt, frail, defiant girl" - lol she looks absolutely fine, albeit ready to punch someone in the face, which to me is how she looks all the time.

This entire post is full of red flags and little tells that reveal Jack's fakery and also her toxic personality e.g.
1. She conveniently had a 'journalist friend' who was able to help her get the exposure in the first place...it's a cliche but the vast majority of journos these days, yes even on the tabloids, are middle or upper middle class
2. The ridiculously OTT sentimentality - a life of "cold drudgery", her "shame-stained"face - she really does see herself as a character out of Dickens
3. The unbelieveable self-aggrandizement ("Party conferences. A festival. A radio play about my life") - does she think she has Mandela levels of fame?
4. The self-fetishization - "gaunt, frail girl", "I tremble at a knock at the door" - yes Jack, I'm sure you're trembling as you smooth down your Burberry coat and launch your rabid followers into another dogpile on some poor innocent on Twitter.

She appears to have a great many symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/

 

[PennyLoafer]

She wrote herself that a "journalist friend" set her up with the photoshoot / article which was the, uh, snowflake which led to the avalanche.

"this gaunt, frail, defiant girl" - lol she looks absolutely fine, albeit ready to punch someone in the face, which to me is how she looks all the time.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

I'm just going to defend call handling. It can be extremely harrowing. I'm not going to upset anyone by listing the calls I took, but imagine the worst reasons people would call 999 and then imagine being the person talking to them whilst they wait for help to arrive.

(It can also be extremely boring for very long periods. Is definitely not as dramatic as her accounts of it. You do not become a fire expert/ doctor/whatever).

And yes, you wear epaulettes, there's still ranks within control rooms. People take the calls, people send the vehicles, people oversee it all. And you should give them a quick little iron, you scruffy fuckers

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Spoiler: Kitten chat

it doesn't sound hopeful. Vets here have been seeing animals since lockdown, and are now running back to normal but even in lockdown the rules were to leave pet at door or in car, and staff would come out to collect. I can't see it being much different in other areas. The vibes I'm getting from this is not been to the vet yet and is placating everyone (us?).if the kitten has already seen a vet before coming to Jack, then Jack has a responsibility to take her to a vet too. I just don't believe any of it.

She is still about and liking posts. Anti working class?View attachment 175504

Oh ffs. How many working class people in this thread had grandparents & parents who are landlordsof MULTIPLE properties? Or Mums with Land Rovers?

It’s so offensive just because she flopped school she thinks she can co opt an entirely new identity. I’ve written it on the thread before most my WC peers smashed school and uni hun Sorry you were lazy despite being afforded every single privilege in life?

She’s a moron and this is why her political analysis is so fucking weak because she has no fucking idea. Honestly it’s scarcely 7am and this has pissed me off. Whoever said the mumsnet thing about her being the most right wing left wing person is right.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

Does everyone else love when the thread takes a tangent that means that you discover a little something about people posting, like a vague age or accent?

Or am I creepy little weirdo?

I'm not trying to triangulate you, I promise!

 

[AmTellinYa]

So it is jealousy and it is personal.
Thanks for the clarification Jack.
Pathetic.

And insinuating that because he has all that money and success he's fair game? That he couldn't possibly suffer with his already fragile mental health due to her tirade, because he is extremely well off?!

Fuck off Jack, you nasty, envious little troll.

 

[Chocolate girl]

View attachment 176444Commence ego inflation. Beep boop.

My Grandma did actually pass away during lockdown, We as a family couldnt sit with her in hospital while she was there or be with her when she passed, she was on her own which I will feel guilty about for forever and I couldnt go to her funeral.

So fuck off with this tweet Jack, I wouldnt mind so much if she actually said it because she genuinely cared and was bothered, but she doesn't, she just wanted a jazzy soundbite and a chance to get her name in the paper again so yeah fuck right off Jack.

 

[Grizzlybear]

I am throwing my hat into the wildly frizzy tightly curled hair, funny name, olive skin but firmly Caucasian ring. Will await my correction from JM in due course.

On the subject of DW content, anybody remember going back to read the worst bit you could find in a book when you were little? Like if it mentioned poo or someone was called a super naughty name?! And absolutely dying laughing as it was so naughty but you were ‘doing your reading’? It was almost an initiation into that secret world reading affords, a private joke between you and the author.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

I'm sure I've heard the same story, but attached to a different author, and more than once so I wouldn't take that at prima facie

See I believe it because Popbitch are realllllyy careful about legals.

I'm no fan of David Walliams but I do think that people can underestimate the amount of requests he gets every single day for him to show up at places or send messages. It must be very difficult to get the balance right, and I don't think it's unreasonable to just have a blanket answer of "No, I'm sorry I am too busy"
I believe he has spoken in the past about his own mental health, and I don't think there is anything wrong in looking after yourself and protecting yourself.
If you say yes to a few things, and then there is a child with advanced cancer who loves your books, and then a little girl who has just lost her Mum, and a group of kids who are all battling a horrible disease. Oh it must be really hard once you've said yes, you'd never be able to stop.
I know it seems simple, just to pop into a hospital or whatever but I do think it's too much to ask of someone and I would never think badly of someone who couldn't or wouldn't do it.

 

[Silver Linings]

Oh no! It’s been changed

See my first post - apparently thread names can’t contain user names as it makes it too cliquey for new joiners

So sorry @Silver Linings !

It’s fine by me! I’m just a sexy pirate on the high seas, no fame for me. Phew.

 

[chocolate choux]

I remember reading Duncton Wood when I was 10 or 11. It was full of mole sex written in a very erotic way...lots of claws raking along quivering flanks and so on.

I'm a bit tired of this Walliams witch hunt to be honest. My favourite Jack is Tin Can't Cook Jack. Get back to the inedible slop please!

Mole sex?!