Same I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mums side. My mum told me on numerous occasions she wished I'd never been born at all and then disowned me completely at the age of 15. Not seen or heard from her since. Like you she didn't need to tell me, I already knew how she felt all through my childhood. It's a funny old life isn't it.
I started reading the Kay Scarpetta books by Patricia Cornwall at around 13/14 because I was really into crime thrillers and bloody hell THAT SERIES took a hard genre turn. I was so embarrassed to return the books to the library. And my mother used to read the books I was reading so I had to hide that one in my bag until it was safely read and returned.The stuff I was reading by 10I had an advanced reading age and plundered my mum’s books. Virginia Andrews, Jackie Collins, Stephen King, the Idi Amin biography
I turned out ok. On the outside.
Hahahahahahaha.
Gosh. I had no grandparents. I was the youngest of 4 and was a mistake. Told that all through my life. Was basically tormented/bullies by my older siblings and, because I was a bit of a nightmare child (didn’t sleep etc) was told frequently if I’d been the first I’d have been the last
Lovely. My elder siblings still resent me to this day. Funnily enough one of them has recently trained to be a counsellor which is quite strange as they are the MOST judgemental person I know and treats me with utter disdain and laughs / mocks me behind my back. Which is just normal for anyone on their radar unless in their clique. 
As you say, it’s a funny old life. Now in my much older years I’ve grown to accept and ignore and just be.
I got this voicemail from my Nana when lockdown started, just checking you’re ok and if you need anything...cos she heard people were struggling with money. I’m in my forties! I know how lucky I am in many ways; to have her still (especially being as we are WC as they come- cleaners and pitmen I’m from) and to have someone who cares. I just don’t think Jack had no one around who cared or who could help and that child was at the root of it. If it even happened. I’ve seen real poverty, I grew up on a council estate with prostitution and drug use just down the doors. I don’t like the cosplay.
So true, as an example when I was a kid my parents had a really violent fight over there not being enough bread in the house as someone had eaten one slice and they couldnt afford to get any more etc etc,
)
Aye, there's an entitlement there. I went to a good school and got good grades, but dropped out of University, because I was a bit of tit when I was 18. I like learning, and always felt sad that I didn't have a degree. I suppose I could have shouted about the unfairness of that on the internet, but instead I did the OU (and took a v long time over it), but eventually came away with my degree. I have plans to go further, but can't afford them in time/money at the moment, but I don't get all bitter about it, because that's life, innit?
New thread title: Don't be fooled by the cocks that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jackie from the block
Now that makes me really angry. Mr Falkor was a late surprise for his parents, he's 7 years younger than his next nearest sibling, so from the age of about 11, after next sibling had gone to university, his parents would frequently say things like, 'If it wasn't for him we'd be off travelling now.' He still lives with the after-effects of that today and he's in his 50s now.
Hmmm I'd like to think it'd take more than tomato sauce with a blob of marmalade in to get me into bed but we all have different standards I suppose...
I lived with a partner many years ago and there was never anything in to eat, he used to waste money on alcohol so the fridge was full of lager but never any food. So now I overcompensate and spend hundreds a week, I have no room for tins but at least I won't go hungry. That situation was traumatic.So true, as an example when I was a kid my parents had a really violent fight over there not being enough bread in the house as someone had eaten one slice and they couldnt afford to get any more etc etc,
so now I'm obsessed with making sure there are always several loaves in my house... like I'm sure my kids and husband think I've got some weird fixation on bread
