Jack Monroe #42

[Ellabella]

I'm supposed to be getting ready for work but I'm sat here so I can get to the end of the thread just to tell you how large my head is*!

*Massive. In school pictures with my sister, for scale pueposes her head was approx size of a grapefruit, mine was watermelon.

 

[Alansbigplate]

She was training to be a firefighter when she fell pregnant yes?

Possibly unfulfilled ambitions.

I don’t think she’s ashamed of it.

When I was 21 I was at uni. Living at home and my grant back in the day was 30 quid a week.

Don’t get me wrong I loved it. But there’s no shame in earning what she did at that age.

she was on £27k there would be no shame in that at any age. And I know all about pride but fuck I had to take money off my Nana rather than take my kids under with me and you know what I’d do it again, for their sake

edit- I sound dead horrible she just enrages me soz

 

[LucyPeach]

I am too innocent to go onto the hunks of parliament thread, I haven’t recovered from the wooden spoon spankings from DKL I can’t be exposed to thoughts of Tory penises

Really didn’t expect to be thinking about Tory penises first thing this morning.

 

[Silver Linings]

This guy is a twat but she seems to be in a mood today.

 

[Starsanddaggers]

Need distraction. Eldest having an operation today. Youngest feeding every 2 minutes. Any more drama llama? Or has everyone just accepted Jack is a dick?

 

[Silver Linings]

I started reading my mum’s extensive Mills and Boon collection when I was about 11yrs. They were pure filth.

I used to read them at the library inside bigger books like a film.

Fraus Jack will not be happy about us being non coven like and supportive to each other. Or going off topic. We will be punished.

I thank my lucky stars social media wasn’t a thing when I was at school. It would have been 24/7 hell.

to all who need it.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Oh I’ve got one!

She clutched a load of crispy dead flowers for a selfie that she then clarified were sent to her ten weeks ago when SHE LEFT

View attachment 175456

right on time

 

[colouredlines]

I remember reading Duncton Wood when I was 10 or 11. It was full of mole sex written in a very erotic way...lots of claws raking along quivering flanks and so on.

I'm a bit tired of this Walliams witch hunt to be honest. My favourite Jack is Tin Can't Cook Jack. Get back to the inedible slop please!

 

[elepal]

In case anyone forgets what a fucking liar she is: https://threader.app/thread/1244753809773035527

'If it weren't for that boy, i'd probably still be in the fire service. Halfway to my 25 year service medal, paying into my pension, ironing my epaulettes.'

What an utterly cunty thing to say. Just completely unnecessary. Possibly just badly worded, but it REALLY comes off badly.

(Do call handlers wear epaulettes?)

 

[Harrybosch]

I'm just going to defend call handling. It can be extremely harrowing. I'm not going to upset anyone by listing the calls I took, but imagine the worst reasons people would call 999 and then imagine being the person talking to them whilst they wait for help to arrive.

(It can also be extremely boring for very long periods. Is definitely not as dramatic as her accounts of it. You do not become a fire expert/ doctor/whatever).

And yes, you wear epaulettes, there's still ranks within control rooms. People take the calls, people send the vehicles, people oversee it all. And you should give them a quick little iron, you scruffy fuckers

A friend of mine was an ambulance call handler for about five years. Her stories were harrowing. However, now,,many years later, I don't think many people even know she was a call handler. Because she does something else now. And isn't defined by a job she did 15 years ago. I know, what a weirdo.

 

[Ronlonglegs]

View attachment 176530
But working class top trumps is Jack's favourite game!

Even evidenced in her reply - 'the shabbier bit'... She just can't help herself can she?!

Thorpe bay is not a pokey village it is the posh end of southend and not even a village? Noone has ever called it a village because it isnt one and shoebury has a mix of families, from mc to very wc. I am fairly sure from what I know of her family that they did not live in the council estate. My parents became foster carers the same time as hers so have come across them a long time ago and i remember my dad being surprised they let their daughter use a food bank...

 

[chocolate choux]

You’ve just reminded me, are the pistachios still sweating in the smeg? Now that’s a sentence I never thought i’d write.

The apples are ripe,
The plums are red,
The pistachios are sweating in the fancy Smeg

(Was it just my school that sang that song? )

 

[MrsOgre]

I really dislike the way she labels mental health issues. Bonkers, mad etc. Grow up.

How to undo years of trying to reduce stigma and attitudes towards mental health in one swift move. Well done Jack

 

[GrunkaLunka]

When @Switchstreetz does the vom face at your Keir Starmer confession and you know they're about to read Woody's round up.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Ian Bishop’s biscuity scent

I'm crying with laughter so much. This needs to be someone's name.

 

[Kween wand]

Hello all! I’ve been lurking (and trying to keep up) for a few weeks now.

First heard of JM when I saw her a 7ish years ago at River Cottage doing a live cooking spot with Allegra. I absolutely would have said she was comfortable being MC - spoke like it, acted like it, joked about it... The dynamic between the two of them felt a bit weird though... sort of like master and pet.

I didn’t think about her for a couple of years until I bought her bootstrap book as a newly single parent. Followed her on SM and bounced between feeling terribly sorry for her and just confused.

Fast forward to now and a significant amount of experience in mental health later (including eating disorders). Now I see a woman on the brink of a massive crash.

 

[Spanner]

The photo of her in the beige jumper is lovely. She looks really pretty

ETA Just read the caption and that’s cringey bullshit but you can’t have everything

 

[MooBelle]

I got scared for a moment when I saw the title was simply 42. I thought either Jack had done a major chaos or the last thread had veered off course dramatically. It’s too late to catch up. I’ll try in the morning. Goodnight

Isn't '42' the answer to everything?!

 

[Falkor]

Flowers in the Attic and the other Virginia Andrews novels took such a hold at our school that the teacher who ran the school bookclub finally read one and after that you weren't allowed to order one without parental permission! I seem to remember there was a copy of Jilly Cooper's Riders clandestinely doing the rounds in the 5th form (old money, so whatever the GCSE year is now!)

 

[Pocahontas]

Shit, I'm starting to think we are the same person....

And Harry Bosch is ..... POCAHONTAS

Perhaps we are each other’s ... long-lost twin? Separated at birth? But one of us is evil, the other good.
My grandfather is DEAD.

Dum, dum duuuuuuuuuuuuum