Jack Monroe #403 It’s hard to believe anything Jack Monroe says anymore

[Cookiecookie]

This is Jack.

She's not, and never has been, working class either. It's an insult to Catherine Cookson, and millions of women out there that she's allowed to give a keynote speech at such an event.

 

[FrankReagan]

Nigel Slater has always reminded me of Roy Cropper off Coronation Street. Especially when he did that series where he went shuffling about in local food shops with his weird little shopping bag, and then invited himself to the proprietors’ homes to cook stuff. So awkward.
That said, his recipes are nice. I have no idea what he’s doing recommending Jack’s abysmal recipes, he must know how terrible they are. Maybe he thinks it’s OK for The Poors, cos they don’t know any better, or something. (See also: Jay and Nigella.)

He has the same agent as Jack. They have to big-up others in their stable. Hence ‘review’ quotes before the proofs are even out x

 

[PorkandBeans]

tit, the keynote really is tomorrow

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and she's only writing it *now*??? fuckin hell

Excellent!

Does this mean we will get a train chaos tomorrow? Or at least a the-dog-ate-my-keynote drama?

Also wondering if her bodyguards will be in attendance…

 

[Orphan_Black]

Well she said in a recent rant that trolls and bullies comments had meant a couple of companies had kicked her off high profile campaigns.
It must be Superdrug.
If not I am willing to be proven wrong by her.

Superdrug binned her off because she went on Lorraine, looking like a hobo, telling people to shoplift and put shampoo in their washing machines.

You can't blame your imaginary trolls for everything, Jack.

 

[SmolWarrior]

I promise you I didn’t hack this! Found it in a puddle, amazingly.

EXCLUSIVE!

Keynote by Jack Monroe

Hiya. I’d like to thank Catherine Cookson for inviting me to this. Cheers, Catherine! Love your books. If I wasn’t so busy I’d give them a go. I’m an author too! My new book will be out in the new year so please, please buy it. It will help me to help so many other poor people *pause for applause*

As a working class woman, I’ve had to really struggle to get my voice heard. From the Southend Echo, to the Guardian, Diva, 6 published books, Daily Kitchen Live, BBC & ITV breakfast programmes, giving evidence at Parliament - boooo to politicians except the nice ones! - and numerous requests to appear on Strictly, I can tell you that I don’t feel at all seen. I’ve found it really, really hard to break in to the posh cliques in food and media.

Two of my previous fiancés - a chef and a top broadcaster - used to say that they couldn’t believe that I wasn’t on TV all the time! Well, here I am, humbly striving to make the world better. And some people - nefarious ones - begrudge my distant dreams of improving my life. Well they can do one! Thank you for listening. I have a Patreon if you’re interested, I’m embarrassed to mention it but my team INSISTED. Bye for now!

I’ll pose for pictures after, £25 each. Proceeds to the poor. See ya!

Sorry if this has already been said but she’s just gonna read out Hunger Hurts 1 again isn’t she. She’s fucked me right off tonight.

 

[Tabitha D]

The Hastings festival organisers should be ashamed of themselves. They couldn’t find a single working class female writer? And their selected speaker will be churning out her origin story yet again (which version this time, I wonder), to a probably middle class audience who don’t know any better.
I wonder what Catherine Cookson herself would have made of it. Seriously unimpressed, would be my guess. Insulted, even.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Well she said in a recent rant that trolls and bullies comments had meant a couple of companies had kicked her off high profile campaigns.
It must be Superdrug.
If not I am willing to be proven wrong by her.

Let's face it, she could be referring to literally any of her partnerships because they all turn out exactly the same - she does duck all to promote them, puts the bare minimum of effort into any recipes she actually bothers to come up with, and is a PR disaster for whichever brand is unfortunate enough to be saddled with her (the Hellmanns/BLM shitshow, the disastrous Veganuary stuff with Linda Mc, advocating shoplifting while in partnership with Superdrug, etc).

She never, ever gets repeat work, and it's obvious these companies want to sever all ties at the earliest opportunity once they realise what an utter liability she is.

 

[HotesTilaire]

How did either 'paraphrased' or 'misquoted' turn 'I was born into grinding poverty and fought my way up' into 'I'm a nice normal middle class girl', tho?

She said herself in her blog she was middle class, presumably she is being misquoted- by herself.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Just to add to @sleepingsatellite keen spot, here are some of many messages to Patreon about this issue. So Jack claiming there was a hack attempt was likely this…
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Coming from the past. Didn't Patreon sack their entire security team or something like a week ago?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

She said herself in her blog she was middle class, presumably she is being misquoted- by herself.

And there’s literally a recording of her saying that she’s middle class, along with the “Jeremy Kyle, burgers“ quote.

Of all the things where she can say she was misquoted, that is not one of them.

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

If you haven’t watched the video clip that @kachoochoo linked to on the last thread, you really should.

After she says the line about how people contact her daily telling her she’s saved them £100 a week, she says ‘and what people don’t realise is that’s equivalent to a £5000 pay rise.‘ No it isn't you mathematically illiterate buffoon (I mean I am mathematically challenged but even I know that’s a pile of cack).

And then she just continues to make everything ALLL ABOUT HER all the way through. And she wonders why she doesn’t get invited back.

Never seen that BBC food clip before. The school shooter glasses

I've been watching that Jeffrey dahmer thing on netflix. He wears the same glasses. And also had a penchant for denim shirts.

 

[HotesTilaire]

And there’s literally a recording of her saying that she’s middle class, along with the “Jeremy Kyle, burgers“ quote.

Of all the things where she can say she was misquoted, that is not one of them.

Yeah I’m glad she used her time and platform wisely to say Happy Bisexuality Visibility Day yesterday. Oh no, that’s wasn’t Jackass, that was you, Sidey B! Belated greetings, dear bi hearts!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Yeah I’m glad she used her time and platform wisely to say Happy Bisexuality Visibility Day yesterday. Oh no, that’s wasn’t Jackass, that was you, Sidey B! Belated greetings, dear bi hearts!

Awww!

Spoiler: Bi Pride rant

I know we go round in circles with this, but for Bi Visibility I just want to say, Jack’s sexuality and gender orientation is her own business, I really don’t care, I’m only interested in the lies and grifting (and the lols here).

But it’s been sad to watch someone seem to be ashamed to be attracted to men and women. I love being bi, to me it’s just normal, it’s not “for attention”, it’s just how I am.

People wonder why we need “Pride”, because being LGBT+ isn’t an achievement, it would be like being proud of your eye colour, it’s just how you’re born.
But to me, it’s because pride it the opposite of shame, so many people across the world still think it’s shameful to be gay. So pride is about saying, “no, I’m not ashamed”.

Anyway, all that being said, I have my private frustrations about Jack’s appropriation of labels, but ultimately, it doesn’t really matter, and she might just be figuring things out in her own weird way.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Haha ffs @ her screenshotting those silly internet 'news' headlines. The very definition of 'you haven't actually read the article, have you?'. How very disingenuous. It's really quite sad that she's tweeting and retweeting that awards thing to her 500k followers to steal the title from a much more deserving winner - and she bloody well knows it, too.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

How funny would it be if she accidentally called Catherine Cookson, “Cath Kidston, witch” at ‘the keynote’.

 

[Captainmouse]

Superdrug binned her off because she went on Lorraine, looking like a hobo, telling people to shoplift and put shampoo in their washing machines.

You can't blame your imaginary trolls for everything, Jack.

Also she keeps shouting she can't afford shower gel and shampoo

 

[NeoCortex]

Coming from the past. Didn't Patreon sack their entire security team or something like a week ago?

2fa is so hard

 

[Nurseali]

I wonder why Gino De Campsite got the lucrative line of foods for Asda ( for lucrative read overpriced pasta and tit pizza),contract
Given Jack's special relationship that only one side talks about I thought they would chuck her a cheap micro meals line in way of thanks for making food for the povs.

 

[RaeRae]

It’s very hard not to go all John McEnroe at this (you cannot be serious).
Anyway must be off I have important campaigning to do:

1) tweet Maccas and insist they bring back the breakfast wrap campaigning
2) fundraising - the worthy causes have asked that I don’t tell anyone who they are because they don’t want any raise in awareness that they exist
3) BTS woooo loook at meeee a little campaigning ghost

While you're at it could you hit Burger King with your campaigning so they bring back the mushroom double Swiss. Ta muchly.

 

[Moxie_Mama]

Hello Canal,

I've been MIA as it's school holidays here in Oz and we've been on a mini-break. I wanted to say hello properly and why I'm here. I'm just going to type, to see where it goes. Am also happy to answer questions too.

When Jack first appeared on the scene, I was sad to read about how hard she had it. The pictures of her looking miserable, SB being wheeled out for photos, the missing father, the list went on.

I was a bit ambivalent about it all, she was someone I followed on twitter, but that was about it. When she decided to become they and start on testosterone, I started following her closer, as I am also gender fluid and knew how hard it was to be one thing, but visually present in another way.
I sent some money over PayPal, and joined Patreon; because as a business model for artists, it works, providing artists deliver from their end. The kickstarter for the book too, I ordered two, requested one to be donated to my old senior school. Still not received either.

At the time; my partner and I were struggling financially, so I stopped paying. I then randomly received the aforementioned sh!t-house onion in April 2020 and the other three postcards. Which must have crossed over between me cancelling my subscription and Jack pulling her finger out of her arse to Do. Something.

I hadn't really kept track of what I'd sent over until I found you lot, (via Sali Hughes), started lurking and reading my way through. Then, I went back and was horrified to find it was just over £600. Needless to say, I feel stupid.

I came off twitter in the middle of the pandemic, as the stupidity of people was driving me mad. When AM published her article, I rejoined in August to cheer her on and be another voice in the crowd of 'It happened to me too. As I believed some of the BS and gave her the benefit of the doubt too often.'

Some things never added up:

1. I remember looking at the mirror tiles in the kitchen thinking, 'You can't be that skint, none of the 'breadline' housing where I'm from has anything nice in it'. It's all functional. Then we got told that as she's renting, she didn't choose them etc.
2. Moving miles away from SB's school.
3. The illness(es) and miracle cures of honey and vinegar.
4. The alcoholism, but being absolutely vicious on twitter to anyone faintly contradicting each her.
5. The endless dragging furniture around, while being too sick to move.
6. Why her family apparently did nothing to help her.
7. Why the father of SB did apparently nothing to help her.
8. Why the fricking hell she veers from 'LOOK AT ME!, LOOK AT ME!' to 'LEAVE ME ALONE, I just want to live a small life. I'm so mentally damaged, but can't shut the hell up.'

I also own that while I had a few 'Hmmms?' going, I try to believe people are who they say they are. I'm ashamed at how much I donated, how much I drank the Kool-aid. I know I'm not getting the money back, but I want to know where it went.

Lastly, I'm sharing this with you, not so you can laugh at me - although I'm sure some of you will. I'm sharing this with you to show that the tide is turning.