Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[bladiesla]

Maybe if she leaves her phone in her bag for long enough, it'll publish the VBI...

My cat walked across my keyboard and accidentally opened a Patreon with multiple tiers. Now I’m getting thousands a month in my account and I can’t work out how to login and refund people.

Mate, I don't even know what Tattle is. I just keep sitting on my mobile by mistake and the next thing you know, I'm some sort of VIP member.

Just catching up. Jack Monroe is dull as dishwater, but the canal is hilarious

(BTW, accidental phone mishap Jack isn't as bad as 'look what I donated too' Jack. It so gauche to brag about donating clothes and things to charity)

 

[Captainmouse]

Following Brian’s sterling efforts

 

[Geetbo]

Pumbles, wangs and now beavers! Jack Monroe - the grift that keeps on grifting.

Pumbles and Beavers and Wangs, Oh my!

As you were, back to the grunk.

 

[SmillieKylie]

the retweet!
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Has spent all day avoiding any talk about the inflation figures, odd for such a smol pixie activist and self appointed second-in-command to Martin Lewis, finally we get an ONS retweet, with of course a thanks to Jack but still dares not mention the #VBI

 

[Mr Krabs]

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Jack, please don’t try to build a DIY fireplace out of old bricks and blu tack or something stupid like that. I beg of you.

Also, wood needs to dry for months before you burn it. It’s probably too late for winter use.

 

[Smeghead]

It feels more and more as though Jack believes she is writing the skits and starring in a Miranda Hart ‘sitcom’

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Fraus i have some disappointingly weak tea for you..was with my NotHarold adjacent colleague today and she asked her NotHarold based contact a few days ago the last question I'm allowed to ask before she refuses to be my friend anymore I asked if NotHarold ever ate the slop or nuzzled his brother...her (and she said it's ok if i say this, i redacted the relationship before) brother who is friends with NotHarolds brother said he has no idea about slop eating but the brother was at the easter lunch, and apparently Jack was absolutely lovely and very charming to everyone at that gathering - no nuzzling happened but the brother was a bit concerned about how invested she was in the fairly new relationship as she kept calling him her future brother in law. Weak tea but all I can provide I'm afraid!!

Why fraus happy?
JCC brought some weak Tetley.

(Sorry that’s the best I can do)

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Everything about her screams middle class. I mean how many people these days really have real fireplaces as opposed to, ya know, radiators? Or gas ‘fireplaces’ in older houses like my dad?
Or Am I the one who’s out of touch here? Do loads of people in actual fact have real fireplaces on which they burn wood and dance around singing pagan songs in honour of Goddess Jack, Rinser of Hoops and Slayer of White Wingers? I actually don’t even know what’s normal anymore.

Phew. Middle-class twat credentials intact. Can confirm I have a wood-burning stove

 

[Wilbursmum]

It really annoys me how she only bothers replying to blue tick people. She ignores all the other thick saps that are funding her "destitution".

 

[usefullyuseless]

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Was the meeting held on a bouncy castle? How would she send that many from a bag that was (I presume) stationary.

Her AA meetings take place on a waltzer, dear heart

 

[Emmapism]

'Mama'

'Moggy'

Jesus fucking Christ

 

[Django]

Womp there it is

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(Although she might be reposting the letter to prove the council are being misleading and it's everyone else who it misunderstanding)

 

[NellieBoo]

Good evening nefarious asshats. Has Jack started mashing up the contents of our heads yet?

What a dangerous idiot she was earlier with the care payment tweet. Bloody fool. It's not a misleading letter at all. Those letters have been issued for years. BUT it can be scary when you receive one as obviously if you rely on the care, you scan through, see the two charges, and panic. We get these waved at us all the time in work (we support people in a specific group). A sit down and an explanation tailored to the service user puts their mind at rest.

 

[moglits]

Grunting from page 8 so send staminos but I had a Jackesque moment today.

Was listening to my choons when walking to the Post Office to send my Vinted bits and pieces (no hardcore pawn for me). When I pulled my phone out of my bag to get ready to pay, for whatever reason Spotify and Facebook had decided to have their eyes meet and, via the ‘share’ button, I was one tap away from letting everyone on my FB list know I was listening to a song that’s title translates to ‘Big Tits’.

Pissed myself laughing at the counter but for SO MANY REASONS couldn’t fully disclose why.

Point is - nothing published despite that being a two-click command, and my phone was unlocked as I walked half a mile. There is no way Jack’s phone performed the gymnastics she claimed it did.

Anyway, enjoy.

 

[Feck]

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Was the meeting held on a bouncy castle? How would she send that many from a bag that was (I presume) stationary.

My phone regularly opens up very specific apps, scrolls various tweets and posts both words and gifs whilst in my pocket. Mm hmmm.

 

[jenny2603]

Tbh I'm disappointed AM has dropped a teaser. She's giving Jack a heads up on what's in the big blog and giving her chance to 'right' wrongs by tweeting shit and covering up. We've seen the 15 minute cook by match light bollocks to try to compensate so far, and her squigs are lapping that up.

The long game of holding off and Jack's arsehole sweating at what exactly AM had to reveal was sweeter for me.

Although, hopefully, they'll be a mega mic drop with the actual blog...unseen footage and full on . AM can obviously write and her research is on peek, albeit from our collections.

Look forward to seeing it. Shame they felt the need to drip feed.

We don't know if the drip feeding is a tactic to wrong foot Jack. I have faith in Molly.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I am glad that she is hopefully and finally doing stuff for that kid. Hes been through alot. I dont believe he will hang around for long though if this indeed is her way of keeping him visiting.

My best friend started to pull away from their dad at about 13 and started to spend more time hanging out with me and her other mates, this gradually dwindled until her GCSE where she literally went about once every six weeks.


Also her sleeping in the lounge will make it awkward for him bringing home friends and eventually gfs. Imagine bringing home a girl to hang out in your room and finding your mum draped in bed across the living room with a bowl of bedpan stew.

She really doesn't need to make this much fuss moving, just sell that tatt you dont need and take what you do. If she is indeed buying this place then good for her. I hope it will cause her to shut up about RENTING and i really do hope she will hurry up and get a job.

Bascially i wish she would just crack on and stop the perfomative bollocks.

 

[Elastoblast]

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Sorry, but so shocked at just how much work she's had done to her face!

She's gone from averagely attractive to channeling the prosthetics from the original planet of the apes!

 

[Lazarus]

I think that ‘POINTY THINGS! OUCHY DON’T TOUCH!’ blackboard is the worse thing she’s ever done.

Agree. I’m not minimalist, and from these threads I’m learning more about hoarding, trying to be more understanding of it, and importantly, trying to be more empathetic towards those who hoard. I have to be honest and say i feel really like I need to take a bath every time I see a photo of her house. There’s just too much stuff in there to be clean.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Fraus, I bought a kilo of mature cheese in Lidl yesterday for £3.99.

As you were