Jack Monroe #364 I used to quite like Jack until I started paying attention

[FunnyFuneral]

For some reason I have this in my head

(in the style of troy mcure from simpsons)

'hi I'm jack Monroe. You might remember me from such recipes as rinse your hoops, or slop your pasta..'

Two of the few things I hate in life...slugs and mustard. A bit niche I know and may lead to me being 🔺️ (those and brown sauce. The work of the devil)

Back to grunking, two pages open at once. Yesterday's and last week's.

Hope all went well today Dear MancBee xx funeral days are always difficult.
Just thought I would share with you guys that I once stood on a very large slug when I was putting my bin out in bare feet. The poor creature squished up between my toes and I could still feel the vileness of that big pop and squelch a week later, as if I'd been branded. One of the most horrible experiences of my life, I can still feel it now . Please send tender one sympathyos xx

 

[Captainmouse]

Popping in from a few hours ago so I'm sure someone else has said this, but why the everloving Christ is she putting pasta in a pot of cold water so it "starts to cook as soon as the water begins to warm up" instead of boiling the kettle and putting that water in the pot with the pasta??? SURELY that is the most economical route? Make it make sense.

Oh freshly hatched Frau, the secret is, sense is not in her vocabulary, and she can’t cook. Remember that and you will avoid an aneurism

 

[Nonah]

Our local co op has the cathedral cheddar in a security box. Would laugh if it wasn't so grim.

To be fair it always has been a magnet for shoplifters

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Maybe she's baiting conjecture around or whatever else so she can fling "defamation" around on Twitter if people take it.

 

[LemonMoose]

I wonder if tonight’s hinting at an incoming chaos will accelerate Molly’s plans to publish Medium piece? Jack is clearly laying foundations with the weird tweets.

 

[Incywincy]

I clicked on a spoiler and thought I saw after birth

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Our local co op has the cathedral cheddar in a security box. Would laugh if it wasn't so grim.

I buy blocks of lacto free chedder mature. It costs 2 quid and tastes literally the same.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Just occurred to me that Jack Monroe is basically Jay from The Inbetweeners

 

[Pimpinella]

It was more than that. Iirc Jack sent a huge FM pile on to that Frau, who was as you said really nice. She just visited here to agree with the inconsistencies in Jack's tweets and real life. She was very sweet and didn't slag her off, but Jack went for the jugular.
She outed the lady as being an alcoholic and laughed about her struggle with drink. All on Twitter.

Well doesn't that say it all..but remember "be kind " y'all.... she's clearly got some sort of personality issue going on..oh and is a complete....<insert here>...

 

[usefullyuseless]

Hope all went well today Dear MancBee xx funeral days are always difficult.
Just thought I would share with you guys that I once stood on a very large slug when I was putting my bin out in bare feet. The poor creature squished up between my toes and I could still feel the vileness of that big pop and squelch a week later, as if I'd been branded. One of the most horrible experiences of my life, I can still feel it now . Please send tender one sympathyos xx

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[MooBelle]

DW stands for David Walliams.
About 2 years ago Jack decided he should be destroyed.
She put out very public claims that he was an habitual cocaine user. She put up the Henry Hoover gif of the snorting of the white powder. She accused him of racism and a character in his book was a racist slur. She said that 'Miss Tutelage' was a terrible representation of the black community and he was racist to include her.
No one at first could work out why or where the rant started. She has no apparent history with Walliams. She was just shouting into the ether about how she would destroy him with the rage of a thousand suns etc (she actually said this) and SHE WOULD NOT BE SILENCED.
Then it transpired that SB had visited and was going on about how much he loved the book. Jack's jealous rage was because he had dared to say he had a nice time at his dad's and loved the books his dad and stepmum bought him.
THEN Walliams ' publishers got involved. Several people had tagged them into Jack's stupidity and they had to point out that 'Tutelage' was actually a word that meant 'teacher or teachings' and she was a white character.
Jack still wouldn't let go. She went on and on about how she knew better than the person who wrote it and the publisher. She KNEW Miss Tutelage was black and DW was a racist drug user.
It was quite the melt down.

Obviously all deleted.

What was the DW rant? I missed that chaos.

 

[Hollaaa]

“Have you looked through her timeline?”

Probably too late but ideal thread title nomination

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

View attachment 1504505

Triple tested for terribleness.

 

[Pimpinella]

DW stands for David Walliams.
About 2 years ago Jack decided he should be destroyed.
She put out very public claims that he was an habitual cocaine user. She put up the Henry Hoover gif of the snorting of the white powder. She accused him of racism and a character in his book was a racist slur. She said that 'Miss Tutelage' was a terrible representation of the black community and he was racist to include her.
No one at first could work out why or where the rant started. She has no apparent history with Walliams. She was just shouting into the ether about how she would destroy him with the rage of a thousand suns etc (she actually said this) and SHE WOULD NOT BE SILENCED.
Then it transpired that SB had visited and was going on about how much he loved the book. Jack's jealous rage was because he had dared to say he had a nice time at his dad's and loved the books his dad and stepmum bought him.
THEN Walliams ' publishers got involved. Several people had tagged them into Jack's stupidity and they had to point out that 'Tutelage' was actually a word that meant 'teacher or teachings' and she was a white character.
Jack still wouldn't let go. She went on and on about how she knew better than the person who wrote it and the publisher. She KNEW Miss Tutelage was black and DW was a racist drug user.
It was quite the melt down.

Obviously all deleted.

Seriously unhinged and a nasty piece of work.. I feel for her parents...

 

[StatusWoe]

Then it transpired that SB had visited and was going on about how much he loved the book. Jack's jealous rage was because he had dared to say he had a nice time at his dad's and loved the books his dad and stepmum bought him.
THEN Walliams ' publishers got involved. Several people had tagged them into Jack's stupidity and they had to point out that 'Tutelage' was actually a word that meant 'teacher or teachings' and she was a white character.

Wow that's really pathetic even by Jack standards. And was she really not aware of the word 'tutelage'?

 

[MooBelle]

Blimey. She could raise her eyebrows then too .

Only on the one side...

 

[Captainmouse]

It's been there for ages. Jack activated the tip jar feature the day it was released.

Even though she was in dayhab at the time and off twitter I think it was the minute it went live, and at that time we couldn’t find anybody else who had activated it.

 

[Hollaaa]

Just thought I would share with you guys that I once stood on a very large slug when I was putting my bin out in bare feet. The poor creature squished up between my toes and I could still feel the vileness of that big pop and squelch a week later, as if I'd been branded. One of the most horrible experiences of my life, I can still feel it now . Please send tender one sympathyos xx

I did that wearing sandals on Princes Street at 4am in the festival once. It was not a slug. It was a rat.
Anyway, back to Jack's gazpacho...

 

[Polly Morphus]

I think she's going to say that the trolls have made her fall off the wagon and that she needs a lot of love and sympathy to get back on and sober.

Either than or blame the dog

And by "love and sympathy" she means cashos.