Jack Monroe #347 Nationalise Patreon!

[MancBee]

Oh I really don’t know about being a vulture you know I’m not a big fan of birds.

WHAT!!?
Wash your mouth out!

Birds are amazing. They are so clever and have fantastic personalities. From the humble sparrow to the most gorgeous of parrots, they are all fabulous.

(Only joking, I know a lot of people don't like them, and are even frightened of them. Though I do love them.)

 

[GrannyOgg]

Totally agree. People will find themselves with prepayment meters, that are known for being more expensive than paying monthly by DD.

Awful advice to stop paying.

They set the meter sky high to repay the debt. Been there and bought that particular T-shirt many moons ago.
Unlike Jack, Sheriff Officers didn’t kick my door down (they don’t do that) they come with a court order, an electrician and a locksmith.
Sane people never let it get to that stage, they agree to the meter and let the nice man in to fit it, then spend a year watching the dial whizz round and all their money disappear.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Does anyone remember when they would interrupt programmes with a newsflash for breaking news?

We’d need one for this if that is what she’s planning. Shocked, the country will be shocked I tell thee

Something like this…

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I can imagine her signing up to work on the telephone sex lines as they were advertised as easy income. And then arguing with the client before being exhausted and hanging up.

Some confused person shouting down the phone “I’ve already told you, I’m not paying any more for kinky stuff so take that peg off your nose!”

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1459073
Jesus wept Jack, I know you have SEVERELY arthritic hands, with too much hand-skin for their size, but how long does it take to write:

“I am a terrible cook, my son does not live with me, and I lie LITERALLY all the time, about everything”

“P.S. I also have no idea what the word cacophony means”?

ETA Vultures stay with their mate for life, and can be found in social groups. So that’s two things that vultures have on you, Jack. Maybe pick a different descriptor?

Writing a list of words she doesn’t know the meaning of, could take quite some time

 

[Mr Krabs]

Ah Christmas 2020 where Jack decreed that nobody liked roasties anyway, and proceeded to cook the sloppiest looking Xmas dinner ever seen in her seven* slow cookers.

Wasn’t that also the year of the express article where she suggested feeding veg peelings to vegans but used Del Monte fruit in her puddings?

*it may not have been seven but it was some insane hoarder number

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

WHAT!!?
Birds are amazing. They are so clever and have fantastic personalities.

Except seagulls though yeah? Seagulls are evil incarnate with wings and a beak.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Is she actually searching just 'Jack' now for mentions? #twittersmaincharacter

 

[DinosaurSenior]

That Christmas dinner was the most desperately awful shrivelled Scrooge McJack monstrosity. It's mind blowing how this charlatan has the brass bollox to tell other people how to cook

 

[hellosailor⚓]

I'm going to bed.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

*it may not have been seven but it was some insane hoarder number

You are correct. Jack has two triple slow cookers and one single.

 

[NellieBoo]

Ah Christmas 2020 where Jack decreed that nobody liked roasties anyway, and proceeded to cook the sloppiest looking Xmas dinner ever seen in her seven* slow cookers.

Wasn’t that also the year of the express article where she suggested feeding veg peelings to vegans but used Del Monte fruit in her puddings?

*it may not have been seven but it was some insane hoarder number

Ooh yes. Veg peel roast. Lovely. Then just a few weeks ago singing the praises of a veg peeler but declaring she rarely peels veg.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I'm going to bed.View attachment 1459284

Jaskier is going to have to take this one I can’t

 

[NellieBoo]

I'm going to bed.View attachment 1459284

She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire squig.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Why has she liked this? View attachment 1459252
Granted I’m not the brightest button in the bottom of the Canal but I don’t think she should be encouraging this in any way.
Not paying will smash your credit rating to bits quite a lot of quote tweets and replies are ‘What they gonna do cut us all off?’
Well actually yes they could very well do that. Granted it’s last, last resort but they can and will cut people off.

I actually thought Jack was pretty restrained on GMB as when the guy asked her about it I was expecting her to promote it. She was lucid enough to not outwardly say yes which makes me think either
1. She didn’t know what he was talking about
2. She knows she would be blamed and would be toast if she became the face of this particular campaign

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I think I might have said it before, but she’s a hemorrhoid personified. A human hemorrhoid if you will.

I promise to not turn that into a picture.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I actually thought Jack was pretty restrained on GMB as when the guy asked her about it I was expecting her to promote it. She was lucid enough to not outwardly say yes which makes me think either
1. She didn’t know what he was talking about
2. She knows she would be blamed and would be toast if she became the face of this particular campaign

My vote is definitely going to the first option.

 

[Ostapbender]

I'm going to bed.View attachment 1459284

@God why no forever home for your most hardworking representative?

Oh I really don’t know about being a vulture you know I’m not a big fan of birds.

What if they wear stilettos?

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Everyone commenting on her latest tweet are just as much 'vultures' as we are. They cannot wait to see what the latest drama is. The only difference is they'll pat her on the back regardless.

Where as the canal will break it down; wtf is she saying, why is she saying it? This is awful or this is absolutely rubbish, probably suggest ways to sort it out/ what we'd do etc.

Her followers are moist with anticipation at how they can stroke her ego and blow smoke up the pov god to get a response from her.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I can imagine her signing up to work on the telephone sex lines as they were advertised as easy income. And then arguing with the client before being exhausted and hanging up.

Can you imagine that nasal voice trying to sound sexy *shudders* The callers would sooner castrate themselves with elastic bands.