Jack Monroe #342 Dostoevsky rice encyclopaedia
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Don't question me. I'm HOT AND TIRED. Do you want me to stop breathing, pal
I never want to see the words 'stretchy hummus' again 
I'm normally fine about Jack's food monstrosities but this has sent me over the edge
I'm normally fine about Jack's food monstrosities but this has sent me over the edge
They look dry and hairy.
@Lazarus Exactly this! She spends her life on Twatter, divulging far more information than anyone could source via a bloody Tesco clubcard/receipt/email address!
I don't know who said it (I see now it was @FeelingGroovy ) but her using "lil" also annoys me so much! And I don't know if she deliberately knocked the G off blending, but if she did, she's as big an arse as a certain "cleanfluencer"
with her "fresh'n'up Friday" nonsense (WTF that second ' is for is beyond me)! Best selling authors, pah! Regarding today's tips, where was she 3 years ago when temperature records were broken? Slow cooker grub, no thanks, I'll stick to salads (not pre-bagged though Jacko, not really budget-friendly as you can only get a couple of meals from them). As someone already said, tips should have been given out days ago, not 24 hours before the heatwave ends! Pillock!
As for the prune, oats, etc combination
- nah, you're OK. You'd have to pay me an awful lot of money to try that and babe, you couldn't afford me. Go well pal! 
Stretchy hummus is the new cheap wet ham.
Gosh, was it only this morning that this was retweeted?
Bacon butter and stretchy hummus must have done wonders. (I spell it houmous but I bow to Jack the Greek.)
"You turn if you want to but the Jackie's already turned."
Yep, a finger on the pulse Maggie T reference.
Bacon butter and stretchy hummus must have done wonders. (I spell it houmous but I bow to Jack the Greek.)
"You turn if you want to but the Jackie's already turned."
My horse might eat those, at a push. Wouldn’t you be embarrassed to serve them? Especially as food is your 'job'
This has just sent me over the edge
. I've been holding it together quite well today, apart from a little mid morning sob due to the heat in my car when I climbed back into it for what felt like the millionth time .Gosh, was it only this morning that this was retweeted?
View attachment 1427244
Bacon butter and stretchy hummus must have done wonders. (I spell it houmous but I bow to Jack the Greek.)
"You turn if you want to but the Jackie's already turned." View attachment 1427260Yep, a finger on the pulse Maggie T reference.
I'm hearing you, but my mind has taken me here... ...and straight to Flubber.
If Robin Williams wasn't BUSY being DEAD at the moment we could have asked him for the recipe.
Wonder if she likes her men like she likes her carrots! Oh FFS! What's wrong with me!This has just sent me over the edge
Yeah they’re actually Ancient Greek tho. It’s well documented that the ancient Greeks drank frappes served in braided earthenware. They were believed to be a cure for ouchy shoulders.
Good job there's loads of pizza in the background
I’d like to see every cooking show work this into the intro to their recipes. “Alright mate, welcome to Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals. I’m going to be making one of me old standbys: a vegetarian moussaka. It’s simple, rustic and won’t make you vom or tit your pants. Jules hates it when I have mates over and we end up with Tom and Dick all over the place, so this is a perfect dish for those summer get togethers.”
Deliciously ordinary, dry and hairy.
Also, re Jack's "picky bits" platter. It looks suspiciously like someone was dumpster diving round the back of the Shoeburyness Harvester.
As a literal expert in Ancient Greek medicine, I can confirm this is facts
( there is a possibility that the extent of my expertise involved taking one module in Ancient Greek medicine in my first year of my degree
)
Thank you. It's made me feel very distressed and squeamish. It's like she wants to STARVE US ALL TO DEATH by making all food seem repulsive.I never want to see the words 'stretchy hummus' again
But but but you are Aunty Lil@Lazarus Exactly this! She spends her life on Twatter, divulging far more information than anyone could source via a bloody Tesco clubcard/receipt/email address!
I don't know who said it (I see now it was @FeelingGroovy ) but her using "lil" also annoys me so much! And I don't know if she deliberately knocked the G off blending, but if she did, she's as big an arse as a certain "cleanfluencer"
Regarding today's tips, where was she 3 years ago when temperature records were broken? Slow cooker grub, no thanks, I'll stick to salads (not pre-bagged though Jacko, not really budget-friendly as you can only get a couple of meals from them). As someone already said, tips should have been given out days ago, not 24 hours before the heatwave ends! Pillock!
As for the prune, oats, etc combination
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