Jack Monroe #342 Dostoevsky rice encyclopaedia

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title courtesy of @Mr Krabs via @Shimmering congratulations dear hearts, take the day off in your hammocks in celebration. Don't forget the varnish.

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In the last thread:

The saga of her tragic '12 year old in Mallorca' lewk continued and we were treated to a second down-bikini top shot.

She tweeted a tedious thread about minging sucky snacks and slow-cooked beans. Exactly what we want in a heatwave. Beans and prunes.

Was that it?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

If she said we are only allowed 2 prunes, does that mean Jack’s permitted number of dried figs is 1.5?

#loveadriedfig
#figrollsarethebestbiscuit
#twisterisnotthebestlolly

 

[blurstoftimes]

just caught up - bleeping hell. is jack in a fugue state again but this time deliriously reminiscing disgusting recipes she read in roald dahl books as a child?

ps im eating a solero in my garden like a normal person

 

[Hollaaa]

She was in the hammock AGAIN
She was culturally insensitive AGAIN
She suggested that people do terrible things to chickpeas and peaches AGAIN (although separately, this time, is that progress?)
She started the look at what you're missing phase of the breakup cycle via the medium of social media AGAIN
She was doing final book edits AGAIN

Jack has xx amount of patreon subscribers earning her appr £xxx she last updated her patreon on xxx DON'T KNOW DON'T @ ME IT'S TOO HOT I HATE SUMS.
Jack has/has not yet declared which other charities will receive money from the sales of TeeMill tshirts
Jack has/has not paid her tax
It has been 1 day since we last saw Content

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack has now declared her hammock is her home office, she’s gonna regret that come December!
She’s got tits and has some Greek heritage. Who knew!?

 

[Pocahontas]

just caught up - bleeping hell. is jack in a fugue state again but this time deliriously reminiscing disgusting recipes she read in roald dahl books as a child?

ps im eating a solero in my garden like a normal person

Your last sentence made me lol in memory of you telling Jack to go away and that you’re going for a swim and hope she’s off the thread by the time you’re back.

PS off topic, but I must know. Where is Dawn Wiener?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Please please god's that be ensure this thread has no thirst shots.

Last week when I was hot and cba to cook I made a chicken and bacon salad with a heated crusty roll. Simple effective and didn't make anyone in our house either vom or tit their pants.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

. Simple effective and didn't make anyone in our house either vom or tit their pants.

Now that's the kind of recipe review I'm here for!

 

[NellieBoo]

Does Jack have greek heritage? Gosh. She's never said. She should have said.

I've just had an aldi knock off mint choc chip cornetto. Think I'll give the sardine and prune sucky snacks a miss, ta.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Your last sentence made me lol in memory of you telling Jack to go away and that you’re going for a swim and hope she’s off the thread by the time you’re back.

PS off topic, but I must know. Where is Dawn Wiener?

i didn’t want poor dawn to be associated with jack any longer! although i’m sure she would have been into the majorca braids

 

[Ostapbender]

Does Jack have greek heritage? Gosh. She's never said. She should have said.

I've just had an aldi knock off mint choc chip cornetto. Think I'll give the sardine and prune sucky snacks a miss, ta.

Massive heatwave and no one's talking about the hardworking 1/4 Cypriot community in Southend Gutted

 

[traumatised sideboard]

S T R E T C H Y H U M M U S

 

[Veronicaaa]

i didn’t want poor dawn to be associated with jack any longer! although i’m sure she would have been into the majorca braids

I miss Dawn.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Now that's the kind of recipe review I'm here for!

Well unlike her i aim to please!

 

[NellieBoo]

Massive heatwave and no one's talking about the hardworking 1/4 Cypriot community in Southend Gutted

Shocking. I'm going to make a greek style frappe in tribute.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

S T R E T C H Y H U M M U S

I can't stop thinking about it. Singing "Don't cry for me, stretchy hummus" under my breath just now as I fed the cat.

 

[skronkywildcat]

That Bacon Butter thing. It must be the most heartburn inducing, oily mess with a horrible texture of grease and meat chunks. Who the hell would eat it? I don't believe she even ever made it, it's not right.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Jack gave Twitter advice on what to eat in a heatwave. Make the usual slow cooker slop, but put it in a wrap or a roll. Blend chickpeas and mayo to make 'stretchy hummus'. Like wearing braids, she is allowed to do this as is 1/4 Greek.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[moldwarp]

Does Jack have greek heritage? Gosh. She's never said. She should have said.

Based on what she’s said today, Jack thinks being Greek is characterised by the following traits: going outside when the sun is at its hottest; liking hummus; liking braided hair.

Its honestly as though she’s got her ideas about her Greek heritage from Mamma Mia and Big Fat Greek Wedding as opposed to, ya know, spending time in the country learning from its people from a position of openness and humility