Jack Monroe #341 The numbers on the key are upside down

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @Froggies for the thread title, words by @Vinbisha , which are about Jack’s brand new, incredibly meaningful tattoo of a key with an upside-down tag attached to it (that references a page in the AA book about Acceptance). Your prize is a visually offputting tattoo by an apprentice.

Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

Ooh fellow trained fire warden here, I'm allowed to put a high viz vest on in the event of a fire so the fire fighters know I'm the important one with the clipboard of building plans and personal evacuation plans for each client. Does that mean I have a fire fighting uniform ( not lying, just...

tattle.life

Recap of last thread:

1. Jack said she warned the parliamentary select committee back in January about the shortage of grains imported from Ukraine / Russia. Did they heed her warning? No, those fools! We’re paying for it now!
2. She rose early and baked some wholemeal hybrid chocolate subpar cookies that looked sh — sorry, Acceptance is key.
3. Slopbot’s first album dropped and we appreciated those sick beats.
4. She’s currently lying on a hammock doing her final final final final final final final final final final edits. Her arthritic shoulder is causing her pain but she can put suncream on with her hypermobile left arm and tweet like billyo still.
5. Sun’s out, braids out. Yes, she has braids as she can’t wash her hair and she’s sweaty, she may also be peri menopausal. It’s not cultural appropriation because she’s half Greek.
5. Apparently the puppy is under the hammock out of the heat but there’s no photos of that particular puppy. Geddit?!
6. Sorry, I haven’t done the template but hopefully Lazarus will when she catches up.
7. Wiki if you’re new, ‘thread title’ when nominating one!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She’s been reading here and taken my advice re a daily SPF. Congrats sweetie! But you need it on even in the house…

 

[Ostapbender]

Disappointed to hear that the dog is just lying around in the sun instead of doing backflips or barking, "Jack is so brave" in an Essex accent. Not pulling its weight around there as a content source, no? Looks like the only solution would be a new owner who doesn't have much social media.

 

[Amanda Lin]

I’m not insinuating she is lying, but this looks a lot like very rough notes rather than a final edit?

Also where are the notes from the previous edit? Does she copy out the whole re-edited book each time her publisher suggests changes and then writes it out in a notebook? Then makes changes from that version?
This is maybe the sixth edit??

No wonder she has ouchie joints

 

[Cookiecookie]

The bikini thot shot was not what I needed right before bed! Can't move her shoulder, can fasten bikini, set up camera, hop in hammock, and pose pretending to be busy though.

 

[Lazarus]

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[/QUOTE]

Trying to quote @Marmalade Atkins but don’t think it worked.
Am I right in saying she is 1/4 Greek Cypriot at most? My dad is an actual Greek man, I am half Greek. I have never classed Greek culture as my own because it isn’t. I was born and raised in the UK.
unlike Jack, my family weren’t bible botherers but if we did ever go to church it was the Greek Orthodox one. My siblings and I are baptised Greek Orthodox-o’s. We holidayed in Greece at my grandparents house and island hopping every year. I don’t braid my hair and justify it by saying someone else done it thousands of years ago.
if I did braid my hair I would own it myself and not ‘check to make sure the Greeks were doing it first’.
eating mousaka and kleftiko does not entitle you to claim Greek culture, Jack.

 

[Mallerenga]

*New* moles?

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

 

[Clovis]

The upside down tattoo made me hoot and fizz yesterday. Reader, today I am wheezing at Haysi Fantayzee Jack. Chapeau!

 

[KebabGirl]

*New* moles?

View attachment 1421608

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

View attachment 1421609

Forgive me, but she didn't say her facial cheeks!

 

[Terrible]

IF she was hit by a big tax fine, could they take money she doesn’t have? Would it be a good idea to get rid of cash assets as quickly as possible? say, holidays, dog, teeth, hair, nails, boots, hats…?

 

[Ronlonglegs]

I'm an occasional lurker here. But had to pop by and say its southend pride today, Where's Jack?

 

[Phillipa78]

*New* moles?

View attachment 1421608

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

View attachment 1421609

Maybe she means the cheeks of her Mediterranean arse?

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

*New* moles?

View attachment 1421608

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

View attachment 1421609

Do people really just grow moles that aren’t *that* ……???
She better not do a scare.

 

[Boogs]

Forgive me, but she didn't say her facial cheeks!

It’s not a mole Jack it’s a bruise on your incredible life saving Mediterranean arse from stopping you from falling under a passing train.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

*New* moles?

View attachment 1421608

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

View attachment 1421609

Have just googled this and webmd has suggested you acquire most your moles in childhood/teen years, and whilst they can change shape/darken due to a few factors (pregnancy, sun damage, obvs scary reasons too) it doesn’t appear as if entirely new moles are a thing?

I have 3 on my face and they’ve been there since I can remember, you’d think I’d be at risk of acquiring new facial ones considering and that has just…. never happened.

 

[instacharlie]

I just don't get the hair thing? It's short enough to just wash and let dry? Would still look way better, and easier to wash than it is now.

 

[Pocahontas]

Slip, slap, slop, Jack!

Those final into infinity edits are handwritten. Handwritten! It’s all just a game.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Does Jack know computers exist?

Im glad she has been grunking on here and remembered she shouldn’t be able to lift her arms up. Well enough to set up the phone for a ‘look I’m concentrating’ selfie. Sad

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Is she rebranding the sun damage on her lips for moles…?

 

[Boyo]

*New* moles?

View attachment 1421608

I know this is probably filtered to hell and back, but you don't have moles on your cheeks, Jack.

Spoiler: Pic

View attachment 1421609

Yeah but tbf that’s not what she actually looks like.