Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[Feck]

SB, who is now 12, no longer has agency over his own decisions because she sneakily pours UHT into a glass milk bottle?

I won't bother picking apart the rest of the tweet.

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Looks like last night's UHT tweet was deleted:
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Er, what happened to the bacon-scrap lucky dip bags?

Eta - A year happened, nothing to see here, didn't check the date on the tweet. What a difference a year makes, eh? From vegan plant based to bollock sausage in the blink of an eye.

 

[Ohnoshebettadont]

Posted in response to her picture of a receiptView attachment 1368405

These squigs are unhinged

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

A bit late to the party, but going back to the tattoos - I'm sure I saw a cotton reel in one photo. I think on the back of her arm, so you don't see it very often. It stuck in my memory because I remember wondering why on earth someone would get a tattoo of a cotton reel! But maybe there's some hidden symbolism, and I'm about to be enlightened by more knowledgeable Frauen.

Maybe it foreshadowed all her interminable Twitter threads <and insert joke about old bobbins that I’m too tired to pull off>

 

[Bwidge]

Exactly! UHT milk is standard here, far more readily available than fresh (which most supermarkets don't stock, or if they do, they will have about 5 bottles out at the bottom of a cabinet - it's clearly not a big seller).

If you're a tea/coffee drinker, you might not want UHT (I guess? I don't drink either!) but you can use it in smoothies, and it's great for baking or cooking. Not everyone lives rurally and has easy access to stallions, so UHT milk is a good option for béchamel, for example.

All information that would be useful from a literal food expert, no?

BTW who the fuck does a 5-step shopping list without a meal plan? She's planning to batch cook this weekend, but has no idea what she's batch cooking? Train the dog to do the groceries, Jack, she'll do a better job than you!

This BIB has had me - it has tickled me so much. Chapeau!

 

[Lazarus]

She never budgets soap, c'mon, have you seen her nails?!

She could grow tatties under them

 

[Wooh]

so, like this
View attachment 1368916
But with a double circle at the top, for the 'wind sock' to sit. Pass thru the middle, tie a knot at the bottom.
cut and tie as necessary.

My knots would be bigger than the bag, I fear! Thank you for explaining. To bring this back to Jack, would be handy when invited to a black tie do if you had only a sweaty t-shirt

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

“What comes into your head when I say ‘Redcar’?”

I bet she wouldn’t even say lemon tops.

 

[BananaSmith]

How will we know though? Can someone send a drone?

Jack will have her nasal drone but probably won't arrive on time or at all.

 

[auntylil]

I can't believe she writes all that stuff down by hand - FFS she's got an iPhone! It has these amazing things called notes...
I've got hundreds (cough, nearly 2,000 actually) in folders and sub-folders etc, covering everything I need to dump out of my brain, work and home related! She ~literally~ could store her food stock lists in notes, and her master shopping list (I know I'm not the only one here who uses their phone for their shopping list so I'm definitely not preaching to the lovely ninnies). It makes things SO simple! AND added bonus, it would help stop her poor wristy-wristies hurting from too much writingo!!! RA and handwriting don't really belong together IMHO! But we all know she can use her thumbs on her phone well enough!
You can even dictate your shopping list into notes, Jack, but surely you already KNOW this shit?
She really could do with some lessons in productivity!

While I'm on a roll, how many hours of her 36-hour working day does it take to write out those lists and is it cost-effective? We all know she's classing it as work! It must tire her out working so hard.

Wonder if she orders items online to make her own cleaning products, which is what I do (vinegar, citric acid, bicarb etc, I'm trying not to use any chemicals) - if she does any cleaning, that is. Doesn't look much like it, so at least we won't have to worry about the pup breathing in toxic chemicals or walking on something that will burn her delicate pads!

 

[hydeist]

What what what!!!?? Ive missed something big

It was Katie Hopkins who had the brain surgery, not Jack

 

[Wooh]

One place I used to work had these. A special frame, put wind sock through the middle, tie a knot at the bottom. The rest of the sock sat in the rim at the top. When emptying, cut and knot. So rubbish goes everyday. But if only a little bit you only use small 'bag'.

I, a veritable genius and brainiac often stopped in the streets for my famed brilliance, have no idea how this could work (and after three reads hope I never have to learn, as my brain seems likely to explode)

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Standby for a dog/stairs related chaos. She realised she'd tripped over Coopsy too many times and that was no longer believable, that's why she got the puppy.

 

[Cack Conroe]

Feeling smug, I predicted she’d be up in the early hours despite her very early start for Glastonbury

 

[Cack Conroe]

14 minutes to go lads

 

[jenny2603]

It looks like Reni E-L isn’t there either - wasn’t she billed too?

SH1TTERS.

 

[Boogs]

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She’s awake then

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

Yeah absolutely, no personal details should be shared online. I’m just curious if the landlady would be notified that someone requested this information. Apologies - not originally from the UK so assumed you couldn’t get this kind of information

 

[Captainmouse]

Full house

View attachment 1369376

Yay! Well done us

I wonder if it's because although she likes to talk about her 120 hour work weeks, she doesn't want her squigs to see the sorts of things that probably come with a reasonable pay day e.g. presenting awards, the superdrug stuff.

What Superdrug stuff?

 

[kachoochoo]

I’m coming from a place in the past, but the fact Jack is such an uncultured swine she thinks folklore (and didn’t use all lower case like Taylor does) shows sad music = slow music in her eyes. If she had even the tiniest bit of TS knowledge, Red is the break up album to go to. I’d love to know which songs she’s listening to….I’d hazard a guess at this is me trying because most of the other songs are about a love triangle so not at all relatable to Jack. Urgh fuck off away from Taylor Swift, I can guarantee she’d want nothing to do with the reverse Robin Hood either.

Christ how can she even get listening to music wrong. Daft fucker. Get in the sea.

And using me, as in I’m going to get me chapeau, is so Geordie and she can stay the fuck away from here.

ah, you are so more eloquent than me and you have verbalised everything I wanted to say

 

[katycat]

A bit late to the party, but going back to the tattoos - I'm sure I saw a cotton reel in one photo. I think on the back of her arm, so you don't see it very often. It stuck in my memory because I remember wondering why on earth someone would get a tattoo of a cotton reel! But maybe there's some hidden symbolism, and I'm about to be enlightened by more knowledgeable Frauen.