Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[Captainmouse]

Dear Chums

I feel my involvement in the dearest canal may have to come to an abrupt end unless you all start putting that orange bleeping monstrosity of a hairdo behind a spoiler.

Yours, Lenny (accidental detective/creator of the #saltylenny hashtag/lover of all the Georgias)

Kumquat!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Interesting new bio.
Do we think it’s significant that she no longer mentions the Vimes Boots Index?
What’s the betting it is never mentioned again.

I wonder if Jack has done any prep at all for the “debate” tomorrow?* Because she is sharing the stage with some pretty impressive people.

* of course she hasn’t.

I kind of hope so. The NOS and various other websites have already done the work, and the VBI is clearly just to promote Jack.

I’m so pissed off that she has the wheelchair emoji in her bio again. She might claim to have hidden disabilities, but the fact that she uses this, to promote herself is so wrong. If you’re going to use “disability“ as a way of self promotion, you should at least highlight important things. Jack never does. She could have pointed out how inaccessible Venice is (as some people here pointed out at the time).

There are SO many barriers to accessibility, and I might be aware of it, but because I am able-bodied, I will never fully understand. There are so many genuine activists, taking the government, and local councils to task for not making every day life accessible for wheelchair users. I don’t actually want Jack to get involved because she’d make it all about herself, but she has such a huge platform, and could really highlight some important things.

 

[Missmopps]

She used to do them...

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I just don’t get this. For years she was saying she was trans and used chest binders and was quite adamant about it. This story says otherwise. Ok, we all have the right to change our minds, but surely her performative takes on all her trans issues and otherwise does so much harm to people really experiencing this and wish to be taken seriously.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Ugh I can just imagine Jack turning up late at Glastonbury and doing that nasally hyena giggle 'well you all know it wouldn't be me if there wasn't some chaos'. Barf.
And Billy Bragg is a twit. Bought that large house in Dorset with grounds and immediately set about closing off the public footpath through it that had been there forever. All for the masses until they start to come within 100s of yards of his mansion.

 

[NellieBoo]

Yup. I've told somebody who thought they were far too famous to have people doing anything but bowing and scraping that if they were going to do that, they were going to be doing it next to the toilets in the rain because they certainly weren't going to be doing it on my stage.


And I've had significantly more influential people than them bring me a bacon sandwich and a coffee or help clear the stage area of beer cups because they were decent human beings.


It's weird not working the festivals. Although it's quite nice not having to crawl under a stage to get some shuteye in the middle of a set or literally falling asleep sitting upright. But if I were Supreme Emperor of the Universe, I would have snipers posted on the gantries to pick off cunts with bleeping flares.




Green Man was utter shite. As soon as you got there (roadying), you were accosted by stoned posh girls mumbling that you were going to have to let them move you across three fields without the use of your van because 'the environment' and them trying to drag ten grand's worth of gear on the ground behind them. They got fucked off pretty sharpish, whereupon they drifted off to wobble away to Afro Celt Sound System and the like.



No way would JM have any idea of what it's like to actually be crew or a real performer. Appropriately enough, she'd just be filler.

I've this because the Green Man description is so .

 

[TraceyJacks]

Thinking McCartney has missed a trick. He could have done a few collabs - even his own songs, get someone on. Crowd would love it - see Mel C with The Blossoms.

He brought on Dave Grohl and Bruce Springsteen! Other mashups over the week were Billie No Mates and Sleaford Mods and Olivia Rodrigo bringing in Lily Allen for “duck you” dedicated to the Supreme Court. Some people might think it’s cringe or whatever but I think that’s much more punk than anything Jack ever try hards at.

As much as it would have left a bad taste in my mouth to see her cutting about beautiful Glasto I’d rather she would have stopped the naval gazing and actually went and like enjoyed herself out of her little everyday Jackonbury she exists in. Would probably do her well to be in a crowd, singing realising everything isn’t about her and her shitey thoughts lol.

Ok, the new lyrics for the Billy Bragg and Jack Monroe track have been leaked. Will she be there to sing it live tomorrow?
New Southend
I was twenty three years when I left my job
I'm 34 now and still a big knob

In tears at this

 

[Flivver]

Harold and Maureen are at Glastonbury with their besties Wendy and Bob. They had a nice cream time on Saturday afternoon and are now mellowing out after a joint or two outside Bob’s ginormous motor home.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The dog isn't called Canada, dickwad x

 

[MistyWindows]

Nightmeat, Nightmeat!
Hates THAT MAN whom she will defeat!
Can she cut the cost of jam?
Not she can’t, it’s a scam!

 

[kachoochoo]

I would like to nominate simply “Nightmeat” for thread title please and thankyou



Thank you It makes me laugh that Jack is so thick she couldn’t understand the meaning behind The Way I Loved You never mind mirrorball or seven. I can imagine her sat there with that bleeping notebook writing the song lyrics out trying to work out what they mean!
And she can stay the duck away from the lakes, my second favourite of all time. If she tweets any lyrics to that song I will be in mourning for the next month.

let's be real here, jack wouldn't understand the meaning of shake it off, she's that dumb

she thinks folklore is a break-up album

also, if the lakes is your 2nd fave, what's your fave? my 2nd fave is champagne problems

Maybe she relates to the last great american dynasty because she lives in a massive house near the coast and her neighbours don't like her

she pretty much said that on that virgin radio, or whatever it was, podcast a few months ago!

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Not passing judgement because I am the one SS but she is awake. Not sure how that works with the is she/isn’t she at Glastonbury theory. One blue tick left unsquigged.

Yawn.

 

[Cack Conroe]

Feeling smug, I predicted she’d be up in the early hours despite her very early start for Glastonbury

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Feeling smug, I predicted she’d be up in the early hours despite her very early start for Glastonbury

So. Is she up because of

a) Content
b) the need to get to Glastonbury
c) the fact she is already there and the noise of people doing stuff (no comment) is keeping her up?

 

[Jelly Bean]

Not passing judgement because I am the one SS but she is awake. Not sure how that works with the is she/isn’t she at Glastonbury theory. One blue tick left unsquigged.

Yawn.

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Oh ffs is she still pretending she is suing people for saying she makes money from poor people. Which she does.
And pickled radishes in a casserole. Why tho.

 

[Cack Conroe]

So. Is she up because of

a) Content
b) the need to get to Glastonbury
c) the fact she is already there and the noise of people doing stuff (no comment) is keeping her up?

b) Can’t sleep because it’s a big day ahead

and

d) nocturnal at the best of times, and addicted to Twitter

 

[Captainmouse]

Have never heard of this man before these threads but see why they get along:

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(Found this googling if he still lived in the ends, apparently he sold his Dorset villa for £3mil)

Maybe he’ll buy mackie a house? Champagne socialist

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Oh ffs is she still pretending she is suing people for saying she makes money from poor people. Which she does.
And pickled radishes in a casserole. Why tho.

It’s just horrid isn’t it?

The little for wasting her followers’ money for a case that is entirely pointless.

There are bigger things in the world going on Jack than you trying to prove that the Earth is at the centre of the bleeping universe.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Has Jimmy Nail (honorary Frau that he is) ever done glasto? I don't know him, but can imagine he might be suspicious about venturing that far south.

The tickets were too much, he’s not much of a “Spender”

 

[FrannyGallops]

Has Jimmy Nail (honorary Frau that he is) ever done glasto? I don't know him, but can imagine he might be suspicious about venturing that far south.

Don’t tell me you missed it! He brought out the Pumble for the big finale

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

4.5 hours to go.

Maybe.