Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

[ReginaPhalangee]

Praise beans, I’m finally in real time!
very smug that she’s not coming to the northerny parts of Scotland, there’s no waitrose up this way tho so she wouldn’t survive after an epic grunk I’ve concluded she’s not changed a bit.
maybe the Twitter silence is because she’s been studiously preparing for her meeting with Sainsburys. So that she can save the poor you see.

 

[kachoochoo]

Yikes - can’t find it! It was funny though, people all asking why ours don’t rhyme. Then people saying they’re funnier and random (true)

yes, a mod said ours were all the best thread titles because they don't rhyme (and, let's be honest here, we're quite a different thread here to most of the site)

then I think we were accused of being cliquey

and may I take this opportunity to say how annoying it is when people say "click" and "clicky" instead of "clique" and "cliquey"? thanks

 

[Mr Krabs]

Links to some sites auto removed

There's a couple of sites where links are automatically removed on tattle, explained for each one below. Hidden links - redirection links are removed as it needs to be clear where a user is being sent. Facebook story links - as they doxx the person that shared it. Try to post the photo or...

tattle.life

Oh Jackkk - come out, come out wherever you are!
She will either take credit or have an epi because the yellow draws attention to the poors!

Perhaps she’s off in a huff because they’ve rebranded her beloved bollock sausages. Let’s hope the new Just Essentials range includes the same percentage of eyelids and anuses (or is it ani?) in each sausage.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Ha ha! We’re not cliquey, we’re just a bit bonded with our own special language.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Sadly I think she's gallivanting around somewhere and doesn't give a duck about the chaos she's left in her wake.

Agreed, she is like dug shite on a shoe, you can never quite get rid of it all.

 

[MsGilmore]

Perhaps she’s off in a huff because they’ve rebranded her beloved bollock sausages. Let’s hope the new Just Essentials range includes the same percentage of eyelids and anuses (or is it ani?) in each sausage.

‘There’s too much pork in the sausages’ said no one except Jack.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Ha ha! We’re not cliquey, we’re just a bit bonded with our own special language.

Chapeau!
To be fair I can see how it might look cliquey from the outside, but usually when a new person joins and asks about an in-joke or something, there’s always someone happy to explain it. If there are any lurkers, please don’t be shy.

 

[Orphan_Black]

The only way the titles would be improved is if we were allowed to bleeping swear.

Oh I think we all know what four letter word beginning with C would be first thread name if swearing was allowed. Just that. Nothing else necessary.

 

[kachoochoo]

Ha ha! We’re not cliquey, we’re just a bit bonded with our own special language.

this is where taylor says it best - "you taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else"

and sali keeps breaking sentient mirrors? I've not read her colin for soooooo long. and ofc, #salisentme here. kinda miss her nonsense tbh. I was absolutely raging when I discovered she's done a (very expensive for them) collab with revolution

 

[HotesTilaire]

this is where taylor says it best - "you taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else"

and sali keeps breaking sentient mirrors? I've not read her colin for soooooo long. and ofc, #salisentme here. kinda miss her nonsense tbh. I was absolutely raging when I discovered she's done a (very expensive for them) collab with revolution

She Here did not do a collab, she is a Founder. Also she uses the cleansing balm on her eyes with no problem and so do all her friends (it’s literally not for eyes and is burning people)

 

[Missmopps]

Chapeau!
To be fair I can see how it might look cliquey from the outside, but usually when a new person joins and asks about an in-joke or something, there’s always someone happy to explain it. If there are any lurkers, please don’t be shy.

Apart from a hiatus last year (I missed the aparthotel rehab and the burglary, are they worth reading?) I’ve been there from the beginning. I still don’t know what owl champagne means, chapeau and J1g. Back in the early days, there was cryptic talk of different flavours of crisps that I initially took at face value but realised it was a reference to someone, but still none the wiser.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Owl champagne is short for “hooting and fizzing” it’s short if you write it in emoji. Jack described laughing as “hooting and fizzing around the room” once, when she must have been feeling very Enid Blyton.

J1g is one of my faves and I saw it happen.
Jack tweeted J1g which could be interpreted as J wants one gram of Er, something. Like if you were texting someone who sold things by the gram. Anyway, following that tweet she panicked and tweeted a load of nonsense letters and numbers. In the middle of these very random digits was the name “Zoe eccentricity” which she thought was fun, and changed her name on twitter to Zoe Eccentricity for about an hour. Then she reckoned the nonsense tweets had been caused by her Mediterranean arse, because her phone was in the back pocket and she had NO IDEA about the tweets. Yeah? No. idea.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Apart from a hiatus last year (I missed the aparthotel rehab and the burglary, are they worth reading?) I’ve been there from the beginning. I still don’t know what owl champagne means, chapeau and J1g. Back in the early days, there was cryptic talk of different flavours of crisps that I initially took at face value but realised it was a reference to someone, but still none the wiser.

I think chapeau was just because Jack kept saying it in tweets, and some of us found it funny enough to keep saying too!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Chapeau happened about two weeks ago and I can’t remember why. It means like “hats off to you” in French, but it’s been reduced down just to hat, in French. Which is chapeau. I don’t really know what the French is about tbh.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Owl champagne is short for “hooting and fizzing” it’s short if you write it in emoji. Jack described laughing as “hooting and fizzing around the room” once, when she must have been feeling very Enid Blyton.

J1g is one of my faves and I saw it happen.
Jack tweeted J1g which could be interpreted as J wants one gram of Er, something. Like if you were texting someone who sold things by the gram. Anyway, following that tweet she panicked and tweeted a load of nonsense letters and numbers. In the middle of these very random digits was the name “Zoe eccentricity” which she thought was fun, and changed her name on twitter to Zoe Eccentricity for about an hour. Then she reckoned the nonsense tweets had been caused by her Mediterranean arse, because her phone was in the back pocket and she had NO IDEA about the tweets. Yeah? No. idea.

And it was @Captainmouse who invented the emoji use.
I remember this because it must have been a particularly funny thread, and CM said she was on the train, to the point of almost coughing and getting funny looks from other passengers on the train, the whole thing set me off and I ended up laughing out loud too.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Why you cry?
Jack try to say Milngavie.

Why you in pain?
Jack on train to Culzean.

Why you slow burn?
Jack at Cockburn.

Why you back tracking?
Jack heading up Ecclesmachan.

Why you ring us?
Jack mispronounce Menzies.

Why you cut Leccy?
Jack sun bathing at Findochty

Why you say Guid luck tae (yis a')!
When Jack cook in Auchtermuchty?

Why you avoid cookie
Jack baked in Freuchie?

Why you leave out poo tray
When Jack visit Kirkcudbright?

Please set us free
When Jack visit Garioch

 

[HotesTilaire]

People have tried to make wolf crab a thing but it didn’t take off (howling and clawing at the floor-what Jack does if someone posts a letter through her door)

 

[kachoochoo]

She Here did not do a collab, she is a Founder. Also she uses the cleansing balm on her eyes with no problem and so do all her friends (it’s literally not for eyes and is burning people)

I'm sorry, what? when there's an x in a name - it's a collab. I'm gonna have to go up to that thread, aren't I? #hotessentme

jack's a bleep and let's hope I get something jack-related for my 39th

 

[Bugger13]

I've never watched the singing videos - I'm not sure I have the constitution for it. I enjoy a bit of cringe but I'm actually concerned I could cringe myself to death?

I’m ultra polite & able to resist cringe to a ridiculous degree but Jack’s singing video is beyond words. It was the moment I genuinely started to think her whole persona was a piss take because it’s seriously mind blowingly weird & shameless.
Just so embarrassing & self centred & odd.

 

[kachoochoo]

also, "chapeau" is an extremely cringe thing that centrist dads use on twitter.

like, someone like supertanskii or marina purkiss will tweet about boris johnson being a cockwomble or the crime minister and very many #fbpe #johnsonout563 centrist dads will reply "chapeau". the "m'lady" is implicit