Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

[Into_the_tunnel]

There’s so many things I’d like to ask but obviously it would have to be about the SECRET INGREDIENT which was coming soon on October 9th 2020.

You know in some interviews you get the questions on paper just before you go in (and everyone has the same questions)?

Obviously this is a joke because it involves crossing the streams, but wouldn’t it be immense if we could somehow get Kach’s list printed out and given to the organisers of one of Jack’s events and then each item printed out as a question and stuck under a chair. After she spoke the person introducing her would say that there would be fun game where each attendee had a question under their chair and they would take turns asking their question.

On second thoughts, this feels cringey and cruel.

Why do I always feel sorry for her?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

How has it

It's hard to believe it was a week since she was showing off her big guns!

 

[Hollaaa]

I read that to the tune of "remember you're a womble"

(You're all welcome for that ear worm)

"don't ever eat a pumble"

 

[Phillipa78]

Family's "main kitchen" who has a secondary kitchen? Or is that what she calls the place she keeps her extra fridge?

I can never get over how her hall contrasts with how awful her kitchen always looks!

The "main kitchen" is giving me serious ed milliband vibes.

 

[Terrible]

I made Spaghetti Puttanesca for dinner tonight, because I suddenly discovered I actually DO like anchovies. I held my nose, and used Mom’s recipe, which seemed relatively authentico.

Purely for shits and giggles, I wondered if Jack had a version, and OF COURSE she does. Now, I may have been a Puttenesca virgin till a couple of hours ago, but I don’t think this recipe is right in the head. Or nice. Or edible:

Jack Monroe's spaghetti alla puttanesca recipe

Swap anchovies for sardines for a cheap but tasty take on this classic Italian fish dish

www.theguardian.com

 

[Arsov Cooper]

7 forks - four regular, one giant salad one, two cake forks.

NO. Now fork off.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

It's highly unlikely I'd ever see Jack in the wild but I think I'd ask if her local primary school ran out of paper because her tattoos are so bad they look like a kid's scratchings.

I probably wouldn't because I'm not a complete arse but it's fun to think about.

 

[trueblue222]

Someone from a right wing party phoned her 9 years ago at home and threatened to do her damage

Then she bought a stab vest to go to Glastonbury. Then she had to drop out of running as an MP as she got two letters sent to her home telling her to die

Last week she got a welfare check from the polis because someone reported a historical threat that she wouldn't

I'm calling bullshit. I bet she has been threatened but nowhere as near as many times as she claims. Someone phones you at home threatening to disfigure you and your response is to talk about it in the Southend Echo?

Spoiler: Merail threats

I was threatened a month ago on my doorstep by someone I don't know and it was horrible. I went to police immediately and they took a statement from me. I completely understand that people might be scared to involve police but according to Jack she is threatened all the time and rarely calls police

 

[jenny2603]

It blows my mind that someone in the 21st century can successfully program a camera timer on their phone but not use the Asda website search function correctly. Make it make sense.

...and is able to edit photos to give themselves an entirely different head.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

What is Github? Is it Git Hub or Gith Oob? I need answers

 

[JeanBurns76]

Teach people to cook? Do people need teaching how to prepare slop?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Thank you for this excellent recap. This sentence in particular is a wonderful summary of Jack's work to date. You've even captured her laissez faire attitude to other people's money, it's wonderful.

Happy birthday @kachoochoo and happy going to a wedding day @Archduchess of Luxembourg I hope you both have joyful days free of chaos!

As much as Jack irritates me I do find her silence quite ominous. Like the eye of a storm. What will the next chaos be? A fall down the stairs? Round 344 of Cooper vs Brambly Mice? Another gun? Only time will tell!

I think OH has misplaced the chargers again( silly sausage that he is) whilst helping her tidy the hoarders paradise.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Can someone explain the T roll thing? I’m mithering here, not getting the joke.

also isn’t it glorious having a nice chaos free break. Maybe big Dave confiscated the phones after the fuzz came round.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Oh I agree the odd weekend away without kids is fine, but never seems to do anything with him and even if he doesn't seem bothered I bet it's building up a secret resentment for her. One day on the future he will blow and all this shit will come tumbling out and she will be upset!

deffo in agreement with you, it’s nice to have a break because we spend all the other weekends doing stuff the kids will enjoy so it’s nice to have a couple of nights going for grown up dinner and sight seeing stuff the kids would find boring.
she never even just posts like taking him for a walk at the beach, Southend is great fun, we always used to go there loads for days out when I lived in Essex

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Oh fuck off you ridiculous chode. Stop spaffing your whole life story out on twatter and grifting from it if you don't want sensible people to comment. Start creating some meaningful content on other SM platforms. It's passing you by.

Also, while you are reading Tattle have a dip into other threads. You'll see all you grifters follow the same pattern.

not seen that used on these threads for quite a while. A very worthy insult for Jack

 

[Nottonightbabe]

View attachment 1341759



Hold up, is that Harold?

Hmmm Harold or Pythagoras?

 

[jenny2603]

I can't wait for the recommendations on food places like she did from her notes on Venice.

No Five Guys but they do have a McDonalds.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

There’s a curry place on Byers Road doing Mars bar pakora, but it’s not a chain so she won’t go there .

I bet she has a deep fried Mars bar and then does her own ‘version’ like deep fried mini eggs.

 

[trueblue222]

If she was a family member or friend, I’d assume she was back on the booze.

She's problematic when sober too.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Oh no, he’d have no sense of smell- best time to do a concert where the audience has a lingering honk.
So is Harold Vampire Squig or what?

Midnight Is the worst possible time to be reminded of Vampire Squig...Now I need someone to check under my bed & in my wardrobe for him before I go to sleep

If youre newer to the threads and thought space squig was bad, you've seen nothing. Go back and peek at your own peril. (And let's not forget Stu, the OG of creepy squigs).