Jack Monroe #321 It's just that Jack wasn't especially cool or well liked

[Orphan_Black]

Jack loves a bit of casual violence, lobbing apples? Ergh.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Ah it'll be the acid fanny threat

 

[Ostapbender]

Take my slop away

Police and Jacks in the street
Jack fought the law
The Guns of Southend

 

[Bugger13]

They're recommending something that doesn't exist in response to a tweet that clearly says guesses/jokes aren't unwelcome. How is this not satire?

I’ve been praying for the original poster to say something along the lines of ‘thanks, can you give me a link to it?’
Someone else has posted a link to the ons on that thread showing whether your wage is staying in line with inflation which is actually really helpful.
Unlike the imaginary VBI

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Thread title words from one of our newest frauen @Lucy Aeroplane nominated by @hellosailor⚓ you both receive a free tour of the Southend Museum of Artillery.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies. Please use 'thread title' in your thread title nominations and no swearing.

In the last thread:

She took exception to men in executive positions in supermarkets earning lots of money.

She still thinks irregardless is a word that intelligent people use.

More boring sixth form level tweeting about politics.

Right at the tail end of the last thread she brought out an absolute banger, claiming that mendacious malicious trolls reported some threats she'd talked about on Twitter and the police came for a welfare check. How she knew it was a troll and not someone who was genuinely concerned is a mystery. The best explanation is that it didn't happen. Now she is claiming everyone wants her dead again. We don't, dear heart, we just wish you would shut up.

Yey! I'll book my tour in for summer 2065 if that's ok. Also, how is Jack saying the police now have her down as a time waster if it wasn't her who reported the threats?

 

[Allaboutthehashtag]

View attachment 1331789

Send your suggestions, frauen, I'll make more cards.

Howling at Scotmid being on a bingo card. Excellent work

 

[Jelly Bean]

Another conspiracy. I really think if there was an OH they have actually left this time.
Or asked for a break. She must be so draining - self absorbed and constantly attention seeking. I really don't understand somebody 'wonderfully normal' or whatever it was, putting up with that for any length of time.

 

[Irena]

Next thread poll!


ETA - this thread is always at its best when R’Jackie is AWOL

I’m a goin left field.

Orunj-ry

 

[JombleWomble]

I won’t be enjoying mini egg shell at the bottom of a mug.

What has she got against mini eggs? Putting them in a microwave? Wrapping them in foil?

Just eat them ffs.

I wonder what would happen if a Squig recommended wrapping them in foil and then microwaving them? Would Jack declare it her favourite way to burn the house down consume mini eggs?

 

[Bugger13]

It just sounds like one of those stupid LinkedIn myths or something from the "firm handshake and take your CV in in person" school of thought.

Jack in her interview no doubt did the old ‘I see myself in your job’ when asked where she sees her career in ten years. Also, imagine the size of her CV.

 

[JuliaGulia]

1. They is police
2. I can find her road on google maps based on the massive info she tweets out

I mean they could, but do they really have the time to be re-enacting the da Vinci code around the streets of Southend?
(Oh, now my maverick little mind has scampered off in the direction of the clues they may find to lead them to the mysterious house of Monroe...)

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

Had a brief nose at some older stuff, she's had more pets than I realised. Did we know she once used to 'rescue' guinea pigs? There's been other bunnies and cats too it seems.

What in the...?

I get that Jack probably thinks she's the most animal caringest person ever, but even she has to at some point realise that... maybe she isn't suited to pets. (Being polite as possible and trying to assume more pets ended up rehomed than may be the case)

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

When was the last time Jack actually mentioned OH?

 

[Captainmouse]

Soooooo…someone told the Police Jack Con-roe receives threatening messages and rather than just saying “I don’t want to make a complaint”, she’s accusing the person of being a troll and now the Police will be after them?

And this banger needs to be brought forward from the last thread (TW: suicide/harm):

View attachment 1328308

Core of steel? She develops bad mentals when someone questions the existence of the VBI.

Not feeling fine?
Thin blue line

(For what it’s worth, I think it’s this week’s episode of things that didn’t happen)

So for the police to do a welfare check, they need her address, did the squig have that? Can you really report on behalf of someone without them knowing?

 

[Ostapbender]

Agreed, I think she's been quiet because she's recovering from a telling off by Big Dave. Must be embarrassing to get called out in real life. Also I wonder if Big Dave is in trouble for unauthorised access to the gun or whatever.

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[panda_eyes]

This does actually look nice. Maybe, because it's so SOLID.

 

[Hollaaa]

You can watch Jack's talk for free, paying is optional... I would watch but shall be on my hols that week so, I shan't watch the little mood hoover.

I think we're definitely at the stage where they should be paying us to watch.

 

[Smeghead]

She’s probably prepping and plotting for the big Sainsbury’s call. If she can make this into another Poverty Partnership, she’ll be swinging and singing in the Orangery in no time.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh Christ she’ll be walking on stage at one of her comedy mates gigs, PR Vix will be doing a show in a pub cloakroom at 1pm then Monroe will stroll on saying “this is an Eton mess” and comparing Boris to a mop, except a mop is useful for cleaning the floor amirite. She’ll love it cause everyone will clap and declare her the best ever. It will be like the second coming of Ben Elton from the 80s. Someone call the council and get her banned from all venues. Someone make up a lie to tell Karen Koren that Jack has it in for her, and get Karen to scare her off. Get Scotland to build a wall. Notify public health about a lingering honk. For Christ’s sakes do something before she gets her own show!

Or it will be a corroscating poem saying fuck a lot and rhyming Asda with pas-da in her nasal monotone. Or even the patronising verging-on-offensive rickets/bus tickets crime against the Arts.
As usual prefaced with 'I'm actually really shy in real life, fuck off I am {giggle} so be kind'

 

[Cookiecookie]

I reckon Jack's Mum finds out a lot of what allegedly goes on in Jackland on Twitter with the rest of us. J probably hopes Ma won't see it and anytime she does respond I can just picture Jack's eyes rolling as she has to give her a polite response. Bizarre sums it all up perfectly, every single day

Can you filter who sees what you post on Twitter like you can on FB? If you can, maybe Jack slips up and forgets to change what Ma can see every now and then