Jack Monroe #311 Please consider the environment before printing this thread

[Orphan_Black]

Was superdrug in the top 5? The suspense
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[LennyBriscoe]

The muddy puddle returns!

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She’s got to be trolling us now!

And it seems to me, you lived your life like a muddy shopping list

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Re the OH, there's a few things that make me doubt it but the camera on a tripod reflected in her sunnies in Venice clinches it for me. Her daft pal could have been lying/lied to or part of an elaborate ruse.

Spoiler: Venice Naughties

Jack's accommodation was not a 3 star hole when she got there, that occurred after she left. The reason for the lingering honk might trigger some memories for poor Iqbal.
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She must have gone with her parents then. No way does this doofus have the wherewithal to go on a solo trip somewhere abroad given the level of trauma/excitement every time she steps onto a bus or train in her hometown

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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I don’t know why, but List Jack has really tickled me! This is my confirmation that she is a parody account

Knickers in a twist?
A photo of a list

 

[Pavlova]

What sort of quack is she seeing? My Psych would never suggest something so bleeping frippery as a “wish list”

Grunking - hi
Didn't Jacksie have a necklace on from that woman, called Sarah Akwisombe at some point?

 

[Candytuft]

She must have gone with her parents then. No way does this doofus have the wherewithal to go on a solo trip somewhere abroad given the level of trauma/excitement every time she steps onto a bus or train in her hometown

I think she’s way more capable than she likes us to believe. That combination of whackojackoimmadme and being thick as mince hides a cunning ruthlessness.
I know her type.

 

[Amanda Lin]

So pleased that you are all so poor that I can earn double as the chief advisor to the poors.

One tweet at a time I will build my orangery

 

[shouldbutshornt]

What was this?

I might have misunderstood Jack’s crap writing. But I read that as she was supporting her ex’s career. Perhaps at the expense of her own.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Why does it take an hour in the car to get to the station?
Imagine sitting in a car with Jack for an hour.

You'd agree to anything wouldn't you?

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Didn't jack have a big go at Asda for employees claiming in work benefits? Surely superdrug employees claim a very similar amount per employee?

Superdrug is also launching a series of initiatives for employees to help them tackle price rises. Employees will receive a minimum of 30% off own brand items and 10% off branded goods, as well as other discounts.

Superdrug will be offering teams webinars in areas such as pensions, budgeting and financial wellbeing too.

I hate nothing more than companies doing this tit. Just pay your employees a fair wage that means they can live without hardship. Beyond patronising to offer webinars on financial wellbeing.

 

[Walkdengirl]

My old career ended due to ~reasons~ but thanks to getting better am starting a new one ( very, very slowly). We don’t need to crow about it on SM when the country is on fire.

However, we all have bucket lists. My bucket list includes (in no particular order and definitely not ready to laminate)…

1. Wearing a grey pouffy dress on a bridge in Paris
2. Running western states endurance run
3. Hugging a koala
4. Asking Jack “why?”
5. Living in a certain East Hampton house owned by a cook and her husband for a while.

Yes to 4 and 5!

 

[Tabitha D]

Edited again as I can see others have commented - I was BUSY grunking don't ya know!

I'm SURE there was an article I read the other day about a man doing just this! Did Jack read the same article and decide to claim it? *Speculation m'lud*

Edited to add; oh look it was a Guardian article too!

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’

www.theguardian.com

Not only that but he wrote a book about it. So that’s where Jack will have got her idea about writing yet another book.
Fiction this time. I was wondering why on earth she thinks she can write fiction all of a sudden, but then I remembered about 90% of her back story is fiction. Bad fiction, but still.

 

[MooBelle]

Was superdrug in the top 5? The suspense
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People's bucket lists are things like 'swim with dolphins' and 'skydiving ' who the hell has 'work with Superdrug ' on a bucket list?

 

[Geetbo]

You'd agree to anything wouldn't you?

And your car would smell like mildew and pilchards for a month.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I might have misunderstood Jack’s crap writing. But I read that as she was supporting her ex’s career. Perhaps at the expense of her own.

Oh I think she's just referring to herself (as usual). She was 'half dead' so the 'other half' was the half that was still alive. Her writing is terrible though so I can see the confusion.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Sorry for long rant and post
I've been away for a weekend. Not fancy Venice, just a few days in glorious Wales. I must have had a better time than Jack on her trip because I didn't think once about using SM. I went walking, eating fabulous food and enjoying the company of my OH (did you know I have an OH?).

Spoiler: Partners death

Anyway I jumped right to the last page and saw a message tagging this quote and I feel physically sick. When my previous partner died his best friend asked me if we would play "For a friend" at the funeral. We of course did play it during the service...

That's because it was how he felt about the loss of his friend

That's because my partner died of an AIDS related illness, the subject of the song

That's because the words were pertinent

That's because they had been friends since childhood

That's because he loved his friend almost as much as I did

That's because he knew how his other friends were feeling

That's because in the space of two years we had been to numerous funerals of young gay men who had died of AIDS related conditions.

It was not requested by my partner before his death, as that would be totally inappropriate. It wasn't his friend that was dying, it was him fading slowly away in ever increasing pain over a matter of three months. Never leaving his hospital bed.

I didn't think Jack could stoop any lower, but she never fails to trigger someone, does she? To appropriate the song written for the death of someone who died of AIDS is a new low.

It means so much to both me and also within the Gay community as a remider of all those that died, and are still dying across the globe, of that terrible disease.

How disgusting of Jack to suggest this song for herself. My first post after a lovely weekend and she has made me furious, angry and brought back the most painful time in my life. I think I need another Jack break... You Fraus are so kind I don't want Jack to stop me enjoying your wit and support. I will take your advice and join the F&D thread.

Oh Manc . I’d never heard that song until today, what a beautiful, poignant song. I’m so sorry she’s affected you and you’re so right, she’s so triggering.

Picking such an emotive song - especially when it’s unlikely she’s particularly close to anyone - is peak Jack. It’s as tasteless as me picking Sex Bomb (yeah) as my funeral song. I know I bang on about AA a lot, but the 12 Steps are designed to deflate ego and if anything, she’s getting worse.

I know the benefits of a Jack break, it’s good for your soul. Lots of love MB

(Shamelessly off topic but if you love a bit of Jimmy Somerville, check out the video of him joining in with a busker who was singing Smalltown Boy)

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I've lovingly prepared a new thread for you, like feta potatoes at 2am even though I'm too depressed to cook.

Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

Thread title words by @Nottonightbabe nominated by @Valiofthedolls you both receive a free visit to a literal angel dentist who will caress your cheek and gaze longingly into your eyes. New frauen check out the wiki which is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations only in the latter...

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