Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[Terrible]

Someone posted this on the Emily.m Twitter stream. I really hope it’s true!

 

[Edie Po]

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Oh squiggle

How much 12 quid a month..12 pissing quid and he's asking for content squigg should be a comedian or a sub on the bdsm scene because he's well and truly being spanked.

 

[HotesTilaire]

For £12
3 exclusive art postcards per month
1 thrifty shade of beige A5 colour “exclusive reworked British classic” recipe card per week, not available in books etc all new recipies
6 exclusive art postcards per month
Discounts for online shop (that is broken and out of stock on 2018 website)
Exclusive content
Good feels (she can’t even supply those)

 

[PoorPatrol]

We have older fraus and herrs on the thread that I’d love to hear from about this - but my dissertation was on this and from what I read the idea of having lots of clothes is a very modern one, like before people would legit just have one or two outfits back in the day? Having one pair of shoes doesn’t feel beyond belief for a man of his generation, but it’s disingenuous in that tweet cos the implication with that and the rollies is that he was a poor man - which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Can’t help but wonder if a large part of the media poverty tale coincided with his death because she expected more from him and/or her dad and didn’t get it?

I’m not much older than Jack, but my lovely Nan (she’s DEAD!) couldn’t be used as an example for relativity now. She was not a slumlord, mores the pity, but she was financially comfortable in her older years. All much deserved after a dreadful childhood, and years of hard graft.

Anyway. My Nan would be like here you go, here’s £20 for pic n mix, and my mates would be like whattttt…. but then she had no central heating and used to do things like put my grandads old army coat over my duvet as an extra layer when I stayed there in the winter. See also: candlewick blanket and a hot water bottle.

Context is everything, which Jackie knows so well. If I only told the pic n mix bit, anyone who remembers the thrill of Woolworths in the 80s would think that a kid getting £20 for pic n mix means money. If I only told the ohhh the house was so cold we had to use coats as blankets bit you’d think it was a bit grim. Jack cherry picks the shitty bits out to embellish and accentuate the sense of hardship and difficultly.

Anyone of my age who’s nans and grandads are still going, they do tend to live very simply. One pair of shoes is not a barometer of poverty/finances/anything for that generation. Maybe it’s like old Vimes? Grandpa had such expensive shoes, he just simply shined them and got them repaired because he could afford to invest in the initial outlay?? #VimesBootsIndex

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes he shares your tweets with his friends, of course he does. (Maybe in a HALP, MamaPapa's on one again today kind of way).

 

[RevEd]

I feel like I need to apologise to you in advance for my swearing.

I generally say it’s because I’m Scottish but then I would be insulting all the Scottish fraus who don’t swear.

In real life I rarely swear. I’m just terrible on social media

Please don’t worry yourself; I didn’t grow up in a religious family & only went to church myself aged 17. I assure you I have heard (and used) them all at some point. It’s the heart that matters, not the words we use.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

 

[BubbleDuck]

Omg Jack has invented herbal tea lemonade !
What a maverick smol pixie ! Oh , wait ,

Also, why bother bottling them up and labelling them because they will be completely flat in a day . Would make more sense to brew the tea, chill the tea and the lemonade separately and combine when needed . Stale tea and flat soda doesnt sound that nice , I’d rather a jtwenty

 

[humpty.]

How can you go from
We’ve broken Kevin
Rape & torture
Belittling and emotionally harming a pensioner
Telling some one off for calling her mate
Following 8000 people in a few days
To dream scenes where you’re ironing towels and being some kind of Darling Buds of May character.

I’d hate being inside her head, it’s like witnessing Split for real.

 

[FrumpyCat]

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love is wrapping a load of cheap chocolate in tin foil then posting it on the Internet for likes.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

The fact that it looks like actual wet soil that when cut would cause a family of woodlice to come skittering out is very off-putting. If you thought the cake was bad, wait until you see that she followed up the palatable cake tweet with one about getting ganache out of her crevices. Fuck's sake. Imagine Mom or THAT MAN saying here's a lovely cake btw I've got ganache in my crack.

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

As a picky eater child, if my friends mum had served that up to me I would’ve cried my heart out.

Don't think you need to be a picky eater to cry your heart out if served that, dear heart x

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I'm still not over the Maya Angelou poem from the last thread. What's going on in her brain if she honestly thinks its message can be applied to a Twitter strop?

And still I rise
like some yeasty bread
stuffed with gammon
and gifted salmon.

And still I rise like a sponge cake
That I didn’t have the time to make
I lie on Twitter for validation
I can’t survive without adulation
The Twitter Squigs make it all too easy
At least I make the Cabal feel queasy

By Lenny Briscoe, aged 41 and 3/4

 

[Veronicaaa]

Wrapping MINI EGGS? Cheap binch.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Hello all, having been happily lurking in the background I can no longer resist commenting today, as an Ordained Minister & theologian.

JM refers to Jesus' cleansing of the temple, something I've written a paper on previously. The people Jesus kicked out were not kicked out for any money related reason; their role was completely necessary. It was the time of Passover (as indeed it is now), and all Jews were required to travel back to the Temple at Jerusalem & offer sacrifices. Therefore they needed money exchangers & those selling animals for sacrifice.

Jesus' issue was two fold; he removes the moneylenders, and those selling sheep & oxen because they had crept inside the temple walls to do their job, meaning they were trading in the only part of the temple non-Jews were allowed to worship in.

The second reason, is that he specifically speaks to & drives out the pigeon sellers, because (according to some scholars) they sold the sacrifice animal most required by the poor, who could afford no others. And actually, would often take advantage of poor people by offering something they tangibly needed, but doing so in a way which ripped them off. Sound familiar?..

Also interesting that JM refers to Titus 1; this passage is referring specifically to people from Crete, and prior to their quote it says 'Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.' Remind me what JM's heritage is again?...

p.s. re: Sunday schools, these were founded in the CofE in the 18th century, as many children simply avoided going to church & there was not wider school provision at this time. So the Church of England began doing Sunday schools which, in the first instance, taught children to read & write (using the Christian faith as a basis to do so).

Keep up the good work of noting JM's hypocrisy. As somebody intimately involved with a Foodbank & many facing real poverty, her attitude has really grated against me (having originally been a fan).

OMG please be Kate Bottley.

Excellent explanation and much appreciated from a non-bible-literate Frau.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack wakes up on Easter morning, cracks her knuckles, opens twitter, and thinks 'who can I be vile to / about today? Oh I know, how about a devout Catholic wishing everyone a happy Easter.'

 

[Ninch55]

For anyone who was worried that Jack was on the verge this afternoon, having been destroyed systematically by the haters, this tweet shows categorically that it is all bullshit.

I was worried, I stayed away for that reason, but it is beyond me how anyone who was in that place just hours ago could be doing this now.

Jack, I hate what you are doing to this thread. I hate that you make me feel so guilty so much of the time. I do not hate you.

@Into_the_tunnel Back in the 80s I shared a house with someone like Jack. We had a massive row over the washing up and she told me the next day that I’d given her a breakdown, and her kidneys were failing, and she needed to go to hospital. Obviously, I said I was going to call an ambulance but she refused the offer. I did it anyway and the ambulance crew were not impressed with her at all. I’m very, very cynical when people start with this kind of shit. Don’t let her get to you, she’s literally the worst kind of gaslighter you will ever experience. Vile. If she’s like this with us, imagine what Allegra and LJC had to put up with xx

 

[jenny2603]

Isn't it remarkable that only yesterday morning Jack was vulnerable and struggling but by the evening she'd perked up enough to have people round for dinner which she cooked, make and decorate a cake from scratch and is off out again today.

 

[moldwarp]

To those who have expressed concern for Jacks wellbeing, it’s important not to make the mistake of treating her tweets with your natural generosity of spirit. When Jack tweets that she’s broken and vulnerable, chances are she is neither. This is someone who has MH-baited shamelessly to deflect even the mildest criticism. She’s just trying to get the critics and tax truthers off her back.

Is it wrong that when I think about Jack running a guesthouse, all I can hear in my head is the Fawlty Towers theme tune?