Jack Monroe #286 And all because the Tory lady liked a tax tweet

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I'm still lolling at the roots being left on. I'm no cook by any means but even I know you remove those bits 😂
 
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I've only just started my grunk but I have to share this with you now as I'm not sure how long I have left before the onion police close in on me. Lads, I tried the water-porridge with fried banana peel and it was absolutely mingin.

horridge.jpg


I ate a smol portion as a kind of unappetiser before my real lunch and it's been haunting me ever since. The banana peel got washed in 2% salt water as recommended by Jack which I thought might give it some flavour. It did not. The whole thing didn't taste of anything. It was like wallpaper paste with leathery chunks. She never specified using 0.05p worth of salt or 2p of sugar so I didn't put either in. Since she has also claimed to add bacon sometimes, I added a little bit of This Isn't bacon which is the only vegan bacon worthy of her endorsement, apparently. That was a big mistake. HUGE. The bacon with the offensively bland curdled slop was a match made in hell.

horridge with bacon.jpg


As a side note, this created so much washing up - who would do this before bed? There was a frying pan, spatula, saucepan, bowl for washing the banana peel, a proper bowl and spoon. Just whack a couple of slices of toast in the toaster you don't have ffs.

 
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Sorry but I cannot get my head around the fact that she's encouraging people to use salmon paste in that dish. Processed yuck.

And the nasal voice... duck off, just duck off!!!!
 
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I've only just started my grunk but I have to share this with you now as I'm not sure how long I have left before the onion police close in on me. Lads, I tried the water-porridge with fried banana peel and it was absolutely mingin.

View attachment 1194154

I ate a smol portion as a kind of unappetiser before my real lunch and it's been haunting me ever since. The banana peel got washed in 2% salt water as recommended by Jack which I thought might give it some flavour. It did not. The whole thing didn't taste of anything. It was like wallpaper paste with leathery chunks. She never specified using 0.05p worth of salt or 2p of sugar so I didn't put either in. Since she has also claimed to add bacon sometimes, I added a little bit of This Isn't bacon which is the only vegan bacon worthy of her endorsement, apparently. That was a big mistake. HUGE. The bacon with the offensively bland curdled slop was a match made in hell.

View attachment 1194156

As a side note, this created so much washing up - who would do this before bed? There was a frying pan, spatula, saucepan, bowl for washing the banana peel, a proper bowl and spoon. Just whack a couple of slices of toast in the toaster you don't have ffs.

You are one brave sideboard you know that right?
 
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She is a MASTER of Twitter.
When you search her name it’s full of someone giving away her books. 🤮
Doesn’t the book say you need 10,000 hours to become a master of something? She’s on Twitter 16 hours a day, for the last 5 years. That’s 29,000 hours - she should be good at it, it’s not an achievement.
Come Elon, buy Twitter, change all the rules, and logarithms and duck it up for her.
 
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Yeah let’s get lawyered up !!
You know if I was Tory Pensioner from yesterday I would be tempted to get lawyered up and sue for emotional abuse, what she said yesterday WAS emotionally abusive, she doesn’t know who in her Twitter audience saw those comments and how they may have been affected, it’s stayed with me secondhand from here, I should imagine having it directed at you is haunting
 
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I've only just started my grunk but I have to share this with you now as I'm not sure how long I have left before the onion police close in on me. Lads, I tried the water-porridge with fried banana peel and it was absolutely mingin.

View attachment 1194154

I ate a smol portion as a kind of unappetiser before my real lunch and it's been haunting me ever since. The banana peel got washed in 2% salt water as recommended by Jack which I thought might give it some flavour. It did not. The whole thing didn't taste of anything. It was like wallpaper paste with leathery chunks. She never specified using 0.05p worth of salt or 2p of sugar so I didn't put either in. Since she has also claimed to add bacon sometimes, I added a little bit of This Isn't bacon which is the only vegan bacon worthy of her endorsement, apparently. That was a big mistake. HUGE. The bacon with the offensively bland curdled slop was a match made in hell.

View attachment 1194156

As a side note, this created so much washing up - who would do this before bed? There was a frying pan, spatula, saucepan, bowl for washing the banana peel, a proper bowl and spoon. Just whack a couple of slices of toast in the toaster you don't have ffs.

The horridge looks like something that would be cited in a report described as "damning" about conditions in an especially badly run care home.
 
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I've only just started my grunk but I have to share this with you now as I'm not sure how long I have left before the onion police close in on me. Lads, I tried the water-porridge with fried banana peel and it was absolutely mingin.

View attachment 1194154

I ate a smol portion as a kind of unappetiser before my real lunch and it's been haunting me ever since. The banana peel got washed in 2% salt water as recommended by Jack which I thought might give it some flavour. It did not. The whole thing didn't taste of anything. It was like wallpaper paste with leathery chunks. She never specified using 0.05p worth of salt or 2p of sugar so I didn't put either in. Since she has also claimed to add bacon sometimes, I added a little bit of This Isn't bacon which is the only vegan bacon worthy of her endorsement, apparently. That was a big mistake. HUGE. The bacon with the offensively bland curdled slop was a match made in hell.

View attachment 1194156

As a side note, this created so much washing up - who would do this before bed? There was a frying pan, spatula, saucepan, bowl for washing the banana peel, a proper bowl and spoon. Just whack a couple of slices of toast in the toaster you don't have ffs.

I’m doing some decorating. Can I have that for my wallpaper?
 
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I've only just started my grunk but I have to share this with you now as I'm not sure how long I have left before the onion police close in on me. Lads, I tried the water-porridge with fried banana peel and it was absolutely mingin.

View attachment 1194154

I ate a smol portion as a kind of unappetiser before my real lunch and it's been haunting me ever since. The banana peel got washed in 2% salt water as recommended by Jack which I thought might give it some flavour. It did not. The whole thing didn't taste of anything. It was like wallpaper paste with leathery chunks. She never specified using 0.05p worth of salt or 2p of sugar so I didn't put either in. Since she has also claimed to add bacon sometimes, I added a little bit of This Isn't bacon which is the only vegan bacon worthy of her endorsement, apparently. That was a big mistake. HUGE. The bacon with the offensively bland curdled slop was a match made in hell.

View attachment 1194156

As a side note, this created so much washing up - who would do this before bed? There was a frying pan, spatula, saucepan, bowl for washing the banana peel, a proper bowl and spoon. Just whack a couple of slices of toast in the toaster you don't have ffs.

I think there should be a special award for Bravery in the next Sloppies to be honest! Going above and beyond!
 
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I'm still lolling at the roots being left on. I'm no cook by any means but even I know you remove those bits 😂
In fairness I'm pretty sure any one of us could cook better than Jack and I once cooked and ate a pizza with the styrofoam base still on then spent all night drunkenly googling 'can eating styrofoam kill me'

*screams into the abyss*

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I know drug dealers with more moral integrity
 
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