Jack Monroe #282 Cumin: 2p, onions: 8p, fingernail dirt: priceless

[Sideboard Bob]

So his full name is Hide The Pain Harold… in France he’s known as Hide The Bread Harold.

 

['EllsBells]

I remember reading about a couple from Sheffield who won the Lottery or a substantial amount (can't remember which). Once they had got themselves and family sorted out they then set about looking after their community mainly the kiddies from deprived areas. Pantomine tickets, days out at the seaside, day trips etc. Travel, food and a little bit of spending money. They really thought about what was needed and how they could help. This is far more effective in my view than Jacksie's posturing poverty cos play.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Well I have finally got my first avatar on the back of yesterday's chaos!

 

[Smeghead]

- mamapapa, I have made you a playlist while sitting in my room
- oh really, that sounds lovely. But on what? We have no internet little one?
- I have sung it mamapapa and recorded it on one of your many mobile phones
- you’ve done what? I’ve told you not to touch my stuff. You might as well show me the playlist then. I’m really not happy though
playlist
When will I get Famous - Bros
Leave me Alone - Michael Jackson
Money for nothing - dire straits
Food Glorious Food - Oliver
bills bills bills - destiny’s child
Like a Stone - audioslave
What is love - haddaway
Solitude - black sabbath
Hand in Glove - The Smiths
Why does it always rain on me - Travis

- oh SB this is just not on. Where’s the Celine Dion?
Camera pans to open draw of spoons
Ends

 

[Lazarus]

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Tagging Jack and Zelensky in the same post might be what breaks me on these threads tbh.
a man who is leading a country fighting a war against Russia, and these wankers are tagging him in their game of make believe? I mean, I’m not saying this will interrupt him, but have people honestly got nothing better to do with their time?
People are such a disappointment.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

So if Rishi and his wife declare mental health issues that’s ok?

 

[BubbleDuck]

hi love, is it sandwich time already, what is it today ? Oooo mackerel with salad bag pesto , my favourite.

 

[panda_eyes]

Jack to OH - "No, NO, we don't need to go out to eat before bingo, I don't care if there's an early bird special on at Wimpy, I can make something just as tasty at home, you said I was amazing at cooking didn't you? You do love me and my slop, don't you?"

OH:

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Silver Linings]

Ha! Look who has liked her excuse tweet.

Shame Jack’s taxes aren’t a fox.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

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So she has just admitted she hasn’t paid her tax. WTF!

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Jack is annoyed there are limited places but not bothered about snaffling the last yellow sticker food items to make inedible when there are people in genuine need of them.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

When Jack asked “Send OH cattos”, but somebody misunderstood

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Ok, I’ve added these and am simmering for 15 minutes ‘until thickened and glossy’ (Please note clean thumb nail, har har! )

 

[Pavlova]

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Why is she going in hard on them? Showing off? Angry they're on her patch? Instigating a pile on? Horrible cow.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[BubbleDuck]

“ is the ‘food’ provided of the same portion size and guaranteed nutritional standard as the school meal “

Well if you are worried Jack , maybe you could whip them up a batch of peach and chickpea curry ( with rice if they want to blow the budget ) because that’s so filling and nutritious you’ve been expecting people on low incomes to survive on teaspoon sized portions of it for the last 10 years

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Dinner ready for 1845? Christ she really must have the most SEVERE adult ADHD, she's 177 years late!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Amanda Lin]

Hello Maureen, I know I said I’d be home love, but she found me packing up and locked the doors. She’s let me out in the garden for a minute’s fresh air and then I have to go back inside to finish the index. I already finished the index Maureen, I told her inflation was 5-7% but she got really angry and said I was wrong, it’s 344%.

I don’t know what to do love, but I’ll try and sneak out when she’s napping later on.

Sorry your card got declined at the greengrocers, I spent a bit too much money at Tiffany’s. We will have to tighten our belts a bit, no don’t try any of her recipes please.

Sorry love, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be home soon.