- Notice
Miss Anne Thrope
VIP Member
(Deep breath). Where to start? Let’s be analytical about this.
Appearance: Pretty good, a nice red colour, not Jack’s usual beige slop. Pass
Texture: Guess what?! It has texture! But not the right texture - the baked beans are intact but softer than cotton wool, no need for Harold to put in his dentures for these. Conversely the kidney beans are like bullets -10minutes is not long enough. Instead of plopping all the beans in at once, Mackie should cook the kidney beans in the sauce for much much longer and add the baked beans for 5 min at the end. Texture is a fail.
FLAVOUR!!!!: There are two flavours. Overpoweringly, grossly sweet with an swift, harsh after-kick of acid. There are NO other flavours. If I want sour and sweet I would much rather eat a sorbet or a packet of fizzy cola bottles - not this.
It is edible. It is boring. It is sweet. If I were starving I would eat it. If someone served me this for a much anticipated dinner, I would be deeply disappointed (and pissed off). Big fail
and finally….
Portion size: This is NOT enough to serve four. Oh, wait, maybe she means four children or four smol pixies or four hungry hungry caterpillars. Because this is barely enough for two adults, let alone four. FAIL!
I can’t wait to see hubby’s face when I present him with this!! (evil glee!!!!!
)
Appearance: Pretty good, a nice red colour, not Jack’s usual beige slop. Pass
Texture: Guess what?! It has texture! But not the right texture - the baked beans are intact but softer than cotton wool, no need for Harold to put in his dentures for these. Conversely the kidney beans are like bullets -10minutes is not long enough. Instead of plopping all the beans in at once, Mackie should cook the kidney beans in the sauce for much much longer and add the baked beans for 5 min at the end. Texture is a fail.
FLAVOUR!!!!: There are two flavours. Overpoweringly, grossly sweet with an swift, harsh after-kick of acid. There are NO other flavours. If I want sour and sweet I would much rather eat a sorbet or a packet of fizzy cola bottles - not this.
It is edible. It is boring. It is sweet. If I were starving I would eat it. If someone served me this for a much anticipated dinner, I would be deeply disappointed (and pissed off). Big fail
and finally….
Portion size: This is NOT enough to serve four. Oh, wait, maybe she means four children or four smol pixies or four hungry hungry caterpillars. Because this is barely enough for two adults, let alone four. FAIL!
I can’t wait to see hubby’s face when I present him with this!! (evil glee!!!!!
)Attachments
BlendedSlop
VIP Member
Morning ninnies. Some #SaturdayStats because I clearly have nothing better to do with my weekend:
It's been 19 hours since Jack told Twitter she was cooking the previous evening's GORGEOUS dinner again in order to photograph and share it.
It's been exactly 11 weeks since she announced the Vainglorious Blimp Index and said it was going to take her "the weekend" to pull together.
It's been almost 3 months since she told her followers she was going to softly, gently, restfully aim to post three new recipes a week (and pinky promised to post the broccoli breakfast pasta recipe later that day). A grand total of zero recipes has been posted.
It's been 3 months and 2 weeks since she claimed a crack team of a dozen tech experts were working round the clock to fix her WordPress site, which is still stuck on a backup from 2018 (she's tapped her followers for repair donations TWICE since then).
It's been exactly 4 months and 1 week since she said she was putting the framed prints of her completely unedited tree photo up for sale "this evening". There is still no trace of said prints in her online shop.
It's been 1 year and 5 weeks since she posted "Good morning from me and my book deadline!" on Twitter. She is still, somehow, editing this same book.
It's been over 1 year and 4 months since she posted an update for her Patreon subscribers (not even a brief "thank you" message after the influx of hundreds of new mugs in February).
It's been 19 hours since Jack told Twitter she was cooking the previous evening's GORGEOUS dinner again in order to photograph and share it.
It's been exactly 11 weeks since she announced the Vainglorious Blimp Index and said it was going to take her "the weekend" to pull together.
It's been almost 3 months since she told her followers she was going to softly, gently, restfully aim to post three new recipes a week (and pinky promised to post the broccoli breakfast pasta recipe later that day). A grand total of zero recipes has been posted.
It's been 3 months and 2 weeks since she claimed a crack team of a dozen tech experts were working round the clock to fix her WordPress site, which is still stuck on a backup from 2018 (she's tapped her followers for repair donations TWICE since then).
It's been exactly 4 months and 1 week since she said she was putting the framed prints of her completely unedited tree photo up for sale "this evening". There is still no trace of said prints in her online shop.
It's been 1 year and 5 weeks since she posted "Good morning from me and my book deadline!" on Twitter. She is still, somehow, editing this same book.
It's been over 1 year and 4 months since she posted an update for her Patreon subscribers (not even a brief "thank you" message after the influx of hundreds of new mugs in February).
redherring27
Member
Once again: I LOVE TD
(also, as someone who is a former HMRC frau, she’s not getting away from those fines. Reasonable excuse my arse!)
(also, as someone who is a former HMRC frau, she’s not getting away from those fines. Reasonable excuse my arse!)
Attachments
DisgruntledGoat
VIP Member
Her pseudo-outrage at there being limited places *gasp* just shows that she’s never once bothered herself to volunteer her time at any form of food provision scheme. At one place I worked at over lockdown they literally used all of one volunteer’s time to have her ring people weekly to see if they still needed the parcels because they needed to focus their resources on people who really needed it. My mum helps to run a “brunch club” at her church over school holidays and they only give letters to the kids who get FSM to try and limit who comes but some Range Rover mums got onto it and started using it as a coffee morning, and they had to be quietly asked whether they were hungry or experiencing financial difficulties (because obv not everyone looks poor) and if not could they perhaps limit visits to once a week so the club had enough food for kids who literally were not getting fed.
Unfortunately charities have extremely limited resources, be it space, time, man power or food, and there are always going to be people who take the piss for a free ride (and it’s never those who need it). This is a reality that anyone who does a fair amount of volunteering could tell her. Why isn’t she having a massive go at the Trussell Trust who fiercely gatekeep their service?? God she’s a massive twat.
Unfortunately charities have extremely limited resources, be it space, time, man power or food, and there are always going to be people who take the piss for a free ride (and it’s never those who need it). This is a reality that anyone who does a fair amount of volunteering could tell her. Why isn’t she having a massive go at the Trussell Trust who fiercely gatekeep their service?? God she’s a massive twat.
Switchstreetz
VIP Member
The funniest part is this is a fan squiggle I think, so it's an accidental roasting
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
'I like to live in a reasonable environment'
A reasonable environment.
A REASONABLE ENVIRONMENT.
A reasonable environment.
A REASONABLE ENVIRONMENT.
Silver Linings
VIP Member
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Deleted
Dogmuck
VIP Member
Forensically keeps Asda receipts for a decade, uses Pythagorus daily, can work out 3p worth of salt, creates amazing 
spreadsheet for TT donations, stock-takes her cupboards weekly, reorganises rooms in her house quarterly, changes her crockery each season/festivity, transcribes the spring statement in her moleskin journal, challenges ONCs figures and creates (
) new Index, has months in rehab, 3 therapists on speed dial, meds for ailments, attends AA, has an ACCOUNTANT…yet when it comes to paying her taxes it’s just disorganisation, adhd, clinical depression - you could not make this shit up 
spreadsheet for TT donations, stock-takes her cupboards weekly, reorganises rooms in her house quarterly, changes her crockery each season/festivity, transcribes the spring statement in her moleskin journal, challenges ONCs figures and creates () new Index, has months in rehab, 3 therapists on speed dial, meds for ailments, attends AA, has an ACCOUNTANT…yet when it comes to paying her taxes it’s just disorganisation, adhd, clinical depression - you could not make this shit up 
OwlRightsReserved
VIP Member
Sorry, Jack, but "disorganisation/adhd/clinical depression" isn't an excuse for not paying your taxes?
I've been depressed since the birth of my first child, 27 years ago. I live with it. I still pay my taxes on time. My husband is the most disorganised man on the planet, to the point where he can find and lose the same item in his study in the space of three minutes. Guess what? Pays his taxes on time! It's so insulting to literally anyone who fits under those three categories and still functions like a contributing member of society when she says stuff like this.
If she's got her Sunday School DJ accountant, I do not understand how she's 2 years late filing. You can't claim to be a Champion for the Poors and not pay what you owe into the collective coffers, you just can't. Doesn't really matter whether we talk about tax as paying for things, or as a means to offset inflation: Jack's doing neither.
Tax Avoidance Jack does my fucking head in.
BlendedSlop
VIP Member
"Hi Gerald, it's me. Sorry I missed you last night, the new lady friend took me out for the evening. Some poetry thing. The guy doing it was no Pam Ayres, let me tell you. I didn't really get it - would have been happier sat at home watching The Repair Shop to be quite honest with you - but she seemed to enjoy herself and it kept her quiet for an hour. Our seats were right at the back - you know I can't manage many steps, not with my knee - so I managed to have a doze while we were there. We got a takeaway on the way home, so luckily I didn't have to eat any of that goat heart soup she'd left warming in the slow cooker. My treat, of course - poor love's only got £34 quid in her bank account. Anyway, I'd best be going Gerald, she'll have woken up in a minute and she said she wants me to sign this "Power of Attorney" thing. Speak to you soon pal, give my love to Margaret."
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Flashback to November:
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Amanda Lin
VIP Member
Hello Roger, I can’t get up to the allotment this weekend, can you have a look in on the radishes for me? Maureen? We’ve separated… well I’ve got a new lady friend, quite a young one. I met her on Twitter, she was working on a index and when I contacted her with advice from all my days of working at the ONS, she invited me to her bungalow and the rest is history.
Yes a bungalow, I know perfect with my knee, she has arthritis too. She didn’t even vote for Brexit, she’s not one of those modern people Ronald, she’s in bed at 8 most nights.
I do miss Maureen’s cooking though. Jackie makes some unusual things Ronald. It’s very mushy though, good for the dentures.
I’d better go, she’s waking up soon and she will want me to listen to all her stories and polish her rocks.
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Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Miss Anne Thrope
VIP Member
Ok, I’m back. Two of the cans have ring pulls (fancy) and the sugar is brown not white (but I was raised in the Caribbean and brown sugar is what we use. Jack can fight me on that one.)
Righty-ho, let’s crack on!
Righty-ho, let’s crack on!
