Paul Merton would finish her
Jack Monroe #275 Like a “lefty” Katie Hopkins
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Jesus, that's just a big cat fight for the biggest femme relatable, Rich white man hater (jamil wins by a country mile but Monroe will unleash the flying monkeys making it a close call)
I really want Joe Lycett to sign up to her patreon at the postcard level and start sending her hilarious complaint emails she won’t even read. Then he can take a gang of annoyed patrons to knock at the crappy bungalow, demanding postcards.
Or Loose Women, she can guest when it’s Carol McArsehole and Denise. Not Janet though, we can’t have two of those voices.
Or Loose Women, she can guest when it’s Carol McArsehole and Denise. Not Janet though, we can’t have two of those voices.
I’d like to see what happens when there’s two elevenerifers with munchausen tendencies- will they form a team and create a critical mass of lies? Shout each other down? Out-queer each other?
I would absolutely help crowd fund that episode of the Joe Lycett show. I'll chuck in £10k JL please do it, just for the craic
OMG he could change his name like he did with Hugo Boss. He could call himself thrifty shades of beige and make postcards of himself which they would post to da bungalow!
Jack would never be a panellist if she had the option to be captain so she could cover for Lee Mack . David Mitchell’s team would be him, Allegra and That Man. The “ this is my ….” Person guest would be Iqbal from sainsburys
It's a physical impossibility for her to lie, she could never be on Would I lie To You.
I want a platform for a re-match with Edwina. There's no way Jack would survive a second round with her after Edwina was completely impervious to Jack's HE'S DEAD finisher. These are truly strange times: the moon is orange, Jack can find an OH and I am cheering on Edwina Currie 
She should do can't cook won't cook.
If I was any good with Photoshop I would do a montage of a pixelated Jack vs Edwina in Mortal Kombat with "he's dead" replacing the "finish him" text.I want a platform for a re-match with Edwina. There's no way Jack would survive a second round with her after Edwina was completely impervious to Jack's HE'S DEAD finisher. These are truly strange times: the moon is orange, Jack can find an OH and I am cheering on Edwina Currie
These are deeply strange times. I want the ghost of Thatcher to rise up behind Jack during this.I want a platform for a re-match with Edwina. There's no way Jack would survive a second round with her after Edwina was completely impervious to Jack's HE'S DEAD finisher. These are truly strange times: the moon is orange, Jack can find an OH and I am cheering on Edwina Currie
Was that the one with a £5 mystery bag of stuff and they could use the standard pantry goods?
Eta: she would be fucked.
So you have brought me a kilo of chicken thighs, a few large potato's and some chicken stock...
At my disposal I also have at least 11 different herbs and spices, butter, oil, salt, pepper, flour, milk, and a full larder of random ingredients....
Nope, there is ~literally~ nothing that can be made here.
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She could do the big maths on countdown, but Susie Dent seems to be a secret Frau so maybe not
Haha yes! It’s made for her, she can be can’t cook obvs. Tho maybe it should be can’t cook shan’t cook.
God Jen, imagine the ghost of Thatcher popping up to jeer at you and call you a bleep while Edwina lays into you. That's when you know you're a reprehensible witch of the highest order. I think I'd origami myself into a black hole of shame.
This is the show I would crowd fund. I’d eat rinsed beans for a year
Look, we both know that Jack would fall to her knees and proclaim Mrs T a role model for women. Thatch would shoot lasers from her eyes and zap Jack and Edwina would say something sex inappropriate.
I actually picture Jack in full battle armour, jumping in front of Maggie, shouting "leave mummy alone"
Firing a hadouken (sorry am still in video game headspace) At any adversaries.
Edit: Oooh I'm now an Active member. Not that it matters. But I like to think that means I have suffered at least one chaos in real time.
mortal combat he’s dead? Completed it mate . I’ll be honest , it’s a one and done job so is in need of refinement but i Shan’t
I would like Jacksie to be on HIGNFY next to this beaut.
After railing against Compo for years, she'd have no qualms setting about our fave smol pixie and her tit hat. It would be
After railing against Compo for years, she'd have no qualms setting about our fave smol pixie and her tit hat. It would be
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