Jack Monroe #273 She’s like David Brent’s crap sister

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Silver Linings

Title by @Brian Butterfield Amended for swears.

Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

Toot toot?

Mod edit:
Sorry to be a narc but when the thread’s busy please can we leave off with the ‘I’ve got — pages to catch up!’, and the ‘just got in from work and there’s 20 pages!’ and ‘I’m grunking for my life’ posts. Boring I know but these posts add nothing apart from more scrolling when others are catching up. Ta!
 
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Reactions: 86

FlirtyThirty

TDLR even though I am EXHAUSTED and fuck off.

Nighttime chaos: Jack made a trip to parliament all about her and a jolly policeman who waved her through security shouting about how marvo she is. Jack claimed it was 100% true because just like Prince Andy can’t sweat, she just can’t lie guys. Nope. Impossible for autistic people to lie.

THEN, Jack decided to be EVEN MORE utterly unbearable, poked a HUGE bear (JKR & the GCs) which immediately tried to claw her face off, at which point she ran away squealing and put all her identities back in her bio in the hope it would make the rapacious hordes back off. It did not.

We would just like to know, what is she hiding?
Still pretty sure it’s the TEN THOUSAND POUNDS she owes the Trussell Trust.
 
Reactions: 97

Falkor

Oof, that was a ride. Can't remember the last time we did a thread in 13 hours - DKL?

Using @colouredlines excellent template:

In the last thread, Jack spent a lot of money on nothing, as far as we can tell.
She bought unnecessary drama to add to the piles of unused tat in the shitty bungalow.
She cooked a disgusting plate of pile-ons.
She told an improbable anecdote about Twitter deleting her tweets.
She blamed her awful personality on the hellsite.
She did/did not (delete as applicable) pay money to the Trussell Trust.
 
Reactions: 97

ChickenPorridge

Someone at the tail end of the last thread there said Jack was kicking off because her birthday presents were shit this year and I just want to say if I got a bloody caterpillar cake AGAIN I'd kick off big style as well. Boring as all fuck, suits her down to the ground though.
 
Reactions: 58
M

MooBelle

Gutted that Iqbal missed out on a thread title but thoroughly pleased with David Brent's shit sister xxx
 
Reactions: 37

Clovis

I've barely been able to get anything done today.

Thanks, Jack. Ya prune!
 
Reactions: 49

Onestorytoomany

Those Caterpillar cakes are also glorified Swiss Rolls. I don't rate them very much at all.
 
Reactions: 39

heretoreaditall2019

This series is going to air in the random part of your tv only a toddler playing with the remote can (repeatedly) access. She will take over from this guy who lives in a random button somewhere on our remote:

 
Reactions: 33

appleskin

Guess this show is linked to that interview last week? Wonder where? BBC and ITV know what she's like, C4 doesn't seem to care for her? C5 or maybe a food channel?

Hopefully, it will be soon so we can get back to 'food' chat
 
Reactions: 24

HansThatDoDishes

I can't believe that we got all the way to the penultimate post of the last thread and Jack dropped the 'series' bomb. The Jack forum has better cliffhangers than EastEnders.
 
Reactions: 49

jenny2603

MooBelle said:
Gutted that Iqbal missed out on a thread title but thoroughly pleased with David Brent's shit sister xxx
Click to expand...
Iqbal is currently being carried aloft by his Sainsbos colleagues, all on a complete high after the Squig Uprising. A thread title would be just too much excitement for him.
 
Reactions: 51

OwlRightsReserved

Really hoping we're going to see a resurgence of Greenbelt Jack after all this battiness. Maybe her new show is on one of those weird religious channels you get in the arse end of freeview. Cooking for Jesus with Jack Monroe - (Smartprice) loaves and (tinned) fishes.
 
Reactions: 52

kachoochoo

BubbleDuck said:
Which book was the Vegan Crackling in ?
Click to expand...
an og item on the list that one. I seem to recall it was first mentioned in autumn 2019, pre-dating these threads

I think it was meant to be in whatever book was originally meant to have been published in january 2021

tldr - has never happened
 
Reactions: 34

jenny2603

I'm totally buzzing for Jack's series. I came here after peak DKL so this will be a chance for me to experience some of the early glory of the Jack threads in real time.
 
Reactions: 40
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