Jack Monroe #240 Schwankend

[Veronicaaa]

I've never known anyone so keen to share every single slice of toast they make for themselves on social media. Well done Jack, you made breakfast! Shamazing.

 

[BlendedSlop]

GoHenry squig dropping some truth bombs again this morning. Both yellow comments are hers, and Jack is tagged in!

"Please leave me alone" incoming...

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

I love it when she posts lies for highs, then (inevitably) an innocent squiggle says 'maybe stolen?/what about mercury?/are you still vegan?/pronouns?' and she responds with 'HELLSITE'. It's as predictable as the sun rising in the East.

 

[colouredlines]

A lot of squiggles are making comments like "ooh I'd love that without the sardines!" You mean...cream cheese and leek on toast? With people like this roaming the streets, no wonder Jack still has a career.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I bit myself presents all the time, usually in the form of a bar of chocolate or second hant books, occasionally fancy tea. Never anything over a tenner.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with buying yourself presents though, I work insane hours in a crazy job and spend hundreds on myself every single month because I’m not married or have a family and have that luxury.

Jack on the other hand, if she wants to buy herself shite from the internet, she can. But she can’t have both with pleading poverty and rattling the tip jar every day.
(The added thing here is her son, and it sounds like he gets a half eaten gingerbread man and an abacus every Christmas and is delighted with it. If that is the truth with the tat she buys herself, she can get to fuck).

 

[Sideboard Bob]

It’s a full spoon chaos!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Breakfast time!

She's been liking various 'save the BBC' threads, I really hope she does some sort of post about how we should all be happily paying the license fee because .... https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/campaigner-jack-monroe-cancels-tv-9417135

 

[coronaville]

What’s this lunatic on about? He seems unhinged!

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

It’s a full spoon chaos!

Please repost at the end of the thread because this deserves to be nominated.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Personally the thing I find most distressing about spoongate is that it suggests that she intends to keep cooking - and photographing - slop for attention (and money) on the internet.

I just really want her erased from the public consciousness. No harm or ills to come to her (although of course it would be a catastrophic wound to her ego) but for people to forget her and moreover stop associating poverty and activism with this dreadful liar who hasn’t spent a day in her life actually poor.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Just realised I’ve got THAT MAN spoons

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I love fish but not the way Jack cooks it.

Why on earth not?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a WIFE!

are we clubbing together to send @MancBee to intensive rusty spoon therapy for 12 weeks then?

I wish I could see the alternative universe where Jack stays with Allegra. She was obviously desperate to move onto the posh cooking scene and instead had to go back to the pov slop….

 

[Veronicaaa]

Bit old fashioned but anywhere can be romantic if you make it that way.

#greggsvegansausagerollisallyouneed

#youdontneedamichelinstarinthelakes

Of course Jack's real answer is the salad bar at the Harvester followed by Eastenders.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

That kale salad should be used as a desiccant in place of silica gel packets, it looks so dry it would actively suck moisture out of the air. I vividly recall when she made it on DKL because I noticed she'd written on one of her cards 'today Matt I'm making a lentil bean + kale salad' and it made me think of Stars In Their Eyes.

 

[holliebollie]

How is Jack not inwardly dying from embarrassment after being caught lying allll the time? Same energy as having a friend round and your mum telling you to stop showing off in front of them. The shame.

 

[BubbleDuck]

A reply in the celeriac thread. .

I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to use this picture from Sir Matt of the forearms and this is most certainly it

 

[BlendedSlop]

Sorry to harp on about this but I'm aghast. Today's haul of tat is going to have to somehow be incorporated into this:

Spoiler: Spoiler for MancBee

And that's only a fraction of what she actually has. It's simply not normal to have so much stuff, food writer or not. And when you're constantly whingeing about your beautiful, massive house being too small for you - maybe try reducing the pointless crap you already have rather than constantly adding to it!?

I'm not a huge Marie Kondo fan (minimalism isn't really in my vocabulary), but if anyone needs her approach, it's Jack.

 

[Malkiavelli]

How much of a bell-end does one person have to be to make a massive song and dance about dying all her clothes black and only, *only* wearing black so as to have one less thing to agonise over on a daily basis for the benefit of her so-called mental health - just to then, once all of the engagement and likes have been bled from that particular theme, not so long after, post photos online of yourself wearing clothes that aren't black. It just... the mind boggles....she is just such a fucking simpleton.

And at least we know, well we've always known but it is always fun to have it confirmed, that she spends her days actually, when not otherwise engaged on twitter, scouring the internet for ever more pointless ways to waste the money she doesn't earn and claims not to have, on shite. Can someone explain how on one thread it can be about decluttering, and on another thread from the same account, it's about acquiring just shit loads of horrible old, pointless cutlery to go with the mass of pointless cutlery from before, and that she sees no contradiction in this? Again, the mind boggles.

And of course, shout out to owning the latest iPhone, could she demand any less.... fancy.