Jack Monroe #234 A Grifty Kind of Self-Love

[NotAUniqueUser]

Found a copy of the first book and it’s just…..so different. Remembering I cooked the lasagne recipe and had to use FOUR times the amount of sauce - even made a note in the margin to that effect - but they seemed decent, edible and clearer explained. What happened? How much of that did she write herself? Her style seems to have nose dived unlike Jamie, Nigella and Gordon whose books are all the same style even with different themes

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Jemadah]

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Lord, she really fancies herself in her new hair and makeup doesn't she - pout and all.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

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Ignoring the blonde hair for a minute, did she do her Quality Street eyes yet?

 

[Django]

I'd normally laugh but I am beginning to despair. Is Jack trying to reinvent herself as some sort of cartoon pin-up?

 

[Skyfall]

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Why?
Who the fek cares?
Get yourself out in the world and make friends who will make you feel better about yourself rather than seeking compliments and self worth from faceless Twitter folk.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I am so excited that Jack's crack team of 12 engineers and specialists are so collectively tit at their jobs, because this website drama has unearthed forgotten slop!

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Spoiler: Let's do some forensic analysis

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Did you know she rents?

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...what?

Literally the first sentence is all that's needed. The rest is nonsensical filler. Recipes don't need filler! They should be clear and concise!

In fact, you don't even need any of this if you amend the ingredients list to 200g bread, finely chopped or grated. There, I saved your poor arthritic hands some painful keyboard-banging.

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Again, this could stop after "mix well". More filler in this thing than in Jack's lips.

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Leaving aside the sheer horror of the phrase very runny apple-water in a description of something that in theory you're supposed to want to put in your mouth...

...this is getting ridiculous. It's actually making me uncomfortable - it reads like she has no friends, and writing recipes is her only social outlet.

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Deep reddish curious slop. Yum.

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Classic Monroe one and done. No triple-testing team of home economists here! Fills you with confidence, doesn't it?

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But earlier you told us to use a shallow tin? Now we can use whatever tin we like, but we have no idea how long it will take to cook?

PS Jack, the key dimension here is the area of the tin, not the depth. As we are all faithfully following your recipe, we all have the same amount of deep reddish curious slop. But I put mine in a 22cm tin, and someone else put theirs in an 18cm tin. The depth of the tins is irrelevant - their mixture will be deeper than mine because of very basic maths. Pythagoras would be disappointed in you.

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What?

No, really, what is this nonsense?

Jack, you're a hermetically sealed heatbox.

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Utter bullshit, as we all know Jack believes there is only one trifle recipe. And it's not this! What would Dad say?!

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Plus ça change...

Classic Jack - all the greatest hits in one awful recipe. This is a golden find and your commentary is .

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Lanie]

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Who is she trying to shag?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Vanelope]

I have never been self employed so no idea about doing your own taxes and accounts but surely the more time goes by the harder it gets to do accounts..like find recipes and remember what was earned and spent etc?
Is it possible to have done the accounts for previous years but just not filed them? And if so why wouldn’t you file them? Equally is it possible to be able to do previous years if your life is chaos?

It often goes HMRC’s way as well - unless you are paid in cash that never touched a bank account. They can look through bank records and note all incoming funds as earnings - and you have to then justify the expenses with receipts to offset.

 

[OhhBacon]

It often goes HMRC’s way as well - unless you are paid in cash that never touched a bank account. They can look through bank records and note all incoming funds as earnings - and you have to then justify the expenses with receipts to offset.

HMRC would charge you to do this?
I just wonder of there is any benefit to not doing it?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[NomDeGuerre]

She’s a look of Ethel Skinner this morning.

 

[ecdb]

I am so excited that Jack's crack team of 12 engineers and specialists are so collectively tit at their jobs, because this website drama has unearthed forgotten slop!

View attachment 951913

Spoiler: Let's do some forensic analysis

View attachment 951915

Did you know she rents?

View attachment 951916

...what?

Literally the first sentence is all that's needed. The rest is nonsensical filler. Recipes don't need filler! They should be clear and concise!

In fact, you don't even need any of this if you amend the ingredients list to 200g bread, finely chopped or grated. There, I saved your poor arthritic hands some painful keyboard-banging.

View attachment 951917

Again, this could stop after "mix well". More filler in this thing than in Jack's lips.

View attachment 951918

Leaving aside the sheer horror of the phrase very runny apple-water in a description of something that in theory you're supposed to want to put in your mouth...

...this is getting ridiculous. It's actually making me uncomfortable - it reads like she has no friends, and writing recipes is her only social outlet.

View attachment 951924

Deep reddish curious slop. Yum.

View attachment 951925

Classic Monroe one and done. No triple-testing team of home economists here! Fills you with confidence, doesn't it?

View attachment 951927

But earlier you told us to use a shallow tin? Now we can use whatever tin we like, but we have no idea how long it will take to cook?

PS Jack, the key dimension here is the area of the tin, not the depth. As we are all faithfully following your recipe, we all have the same amount of deep reddish curious slop. But I put mine in a 22cm tin, and someone else put theirs in an 18cm tin. The depth of the tins is irrelevant - their mixture will be deeper than mine because of very basic maths. Pythagoras would be disappointed in you.

View attachment 951929

What?

No, really, what is this nonsense?

Jack, you're a hermetically sealed heatbox.

View attachment 951932

Utter bullshit, as we all know Jack believes there is only one trifle recipe. And it's not this! What would Dad say?!

View attachment 951938

Plus ça change...

A 976 word recipe (plus a photo) on the same day her wrists were so dysfunctional that she couldn’t grate bread?

 

[Veronicaaa]

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Oh she's already done the make up which makes it look like she needs a trip to the ER, hasn't she? When she went to the ER with her lovely shiny glittery 'black eye'.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[hollywood]

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A trip to the ER you say hmmmm . This reminds me of something I read about firestarters being at the scene when the fire brigade are there trying to put it out . Murderers being at the scene of the crime in the crowd etc . Jack is giving a nod to a previous crime here . A tenuous link by me ? Why do I care ? What is wrong with me lying in my bed catching up with jacks life when I really should be taking the dog out and bathing the tortoise. I love it here though !

A trip to the ER you say hmmmm . This reminds me of something I read about firestarters being at the scene when the fire brigade are there trying to put it out . Murderers being at the scene of the crime in the crowd etc . Jack is giving a nod to a previous crime here . A tenuous link by me ? Why do I care ? What is wrong with me lying in my bed catching up with jacks life when I really should be taking the dog out and bathing the tortoise. I love it here though !

I have no clue how to edit ( quoting self like a dick lol) but I see other fraus were much speedier than me on this

 

[Vanelope]

HMRC would charge you to do this?
I just wonder of there is any benefit to not doing it?

If you attract attention of HMRC due to irregularities in your reported earnings compared to lifestyle etc you may have a full enquiry. In those cases, which can range from a quick check to something that can have criminal conviction consequences, you are expected to cooperate and provide full information. This might include hiring a professional to deal with it at your own cost - which is advised, obviously.
social media has been a goldmine for information on people, they used to trawl the house sales - now they can see all the gifted items on insta - and ads.