Jack Monroe #230 Black-ish

[traumatised sideboard]

Where go the dough?
We wish to know
Was cooked low and slow
Or in bin throw?

 

[Geetbo]

Prune butter and fish spunk sandwich. Fucking fuck me.

 

[blurstoftimes]

View attachment 927784

makes sense - jack has been nothing but the picture of full health since returning to a lard and bacon heavy diet

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I always thought this one was worth posting

because I am not overly convinced it was just a lack of gear that stopped Jack taking the bike out of the quiet residential area.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Actually, going to change my outfit and go as some unruly labia. Halfway down the red carpet, someone will emerge from underneath the folds, carrying a birthday cake covered in too much edible glitter.

 

[Mr Krabs]

If you don’t have scales, a gram of flour is about this much.

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[Pavlova]

Ahhh, now I know why she's been insufferable the last couple of days.
New notice from Companies House issued on Monday, so hence the manic tin rattling!! Sorry if this has been posted already dear fraus. Two months from now, is Valentines Day!

 

[Universal]

I went to my mums at the weekend and dug this out from the attic. I used to wear it with a black push up bra underneath in the 90s with those low slung jeans and silver trainers. Come 6 o clock I will wear it again. Its what Viv would have wanted.

Side note: Its still in great condition after all these years. I saved for months and worked hard for this and remember the thill of buying it in London.

 

[frankychester]

Omg I never thought of that and now it’s made me want to cry . Everyone on here is so kind and full of integrity. Dunno what’s wrong with me . My son sent me a google thing explaining that the reason his cat rolls about like a madman whenever my son gets in is because his cat loves him so much and is delighted to see him and that made me tearful . Then I saw an IG of a guy taking a selfie with his horse and it copied him when he stuck out his tongue and that made me cry as well ! FS so glad this site is anonymous , most people think I’m a Vulcan lol

I'll go one further and tell you that it was lurking this thread last year that led to me setting up a standing order with my local foodbank as well as making a cash donation. And unlike Jack, I've only told you ninnies, via a pseudonym.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Anyone got outfits for the Sloppies?
I’m thinking

This is my outfit . Steampunk leggings, movicol T-shirt with the Bristol sticky poo stool chart , a scarf I found in a puddle near court ,and confusingly birds with gloves on them. To hide the tattoos on my arms that would definitely have signalled me out as being too poor and maverick to be a ninny , ,ive covered them with a tattoo sleeve top from the kids section at Asda. I’ve put new yellow laces in my boots because the light has gone back in my eyes today , and have glued them back together especially- this is why they are next to me and not on my feet - I had to sell all my lightbulbs this morning to buy the glue, and no I couldn’t do it earlier despite knowing about the date of the Sloppies for ages because I’ve been BUSY! As it’s almost Christmas, I have put a bit of glittery make up on. It might look a bit much on screen but in real life , it gives me a subtle shimmer .

i’m sure many of you will love my outfit as much as me, so I’ve printed and framed a few copies.and I will be working 29 hour days to ensure they reach you all by Christmas Day 2025

 

[hollywood]

View attachment 928151

Och do you know what . They’re fkn idiots . They deserve everything they get . I give up

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

I will be a prune for the Sloppies, holding one (1) tsp of butter.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Nobody tell @Switchstreetz but I've booked us in for lunch at the Harvester salad bar followed by an Eastenders matinée, wish me luck lads

 

[BlendedSlop]

"Mash a single canned prune with a tsp of butter" is legit one of the funniest things she's ever said. Honestly, what is the fucking point? It reminds me of that weird phase she went through last year when she was weighing single anchovies on her kitchen scale at 1am.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I really like her hair on that picture.

Spoiler: MH issues

I do as well but I find all these photos focusing on her appearance really challenging.

Depression doesn’t change how you look. It doesn’t make you look like Scrooge. Think about Kate Spade or Robin Williams. All these before and after shots are just fuel to the fire that when you are in the pits of hell you look like you are in the pits of hell, which we all know is 100% untrue.

It is the same as the fact that the majority of people with an ED are not underweight, yet she keeps dropping hints that she is/was, when there is no evidence to that effect.

I understand that she is not in a good place but the way she is misrepresenting MH conditions goes against everything that I have learned about or taught about (for the last lots of years).

If she is on SM, with so many followers, she has a responsibility to those followers. If she is not in a place to be responsible she needs to step away.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

In a state of booster-induced fever, last night I typed out 'I'm throwing down the gauntlet: if she gives us the prune butter recipe I will make it.' and I've come back to it this afternoon having never been more grateful to not have posted reply.

It's funny that Fruity J should mention Knitting Jack as I found her sobriety blanket as a free gift in my packet of Sainsbury's Christmas pudding wheats this morning.

 

[Terrible]

I’m still utterly bemused that she can plug her vegan(ish) book in one tweet, IMMEDIATELY followed by a tweet on how a vegan diet made her physically and mentally ill.

And still the squiggs stay quiet.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Thankspaceyou so much, Dear @Switchstreetz, and the whole cabal who make these threads the funniest place to be. Comedy? Completed it, mate!

I wore bright clothes to the awards to signal my friends that something is off and I am really depressed since I always wear black. I was also late for maximum attention seeking.

I am genuinely humbled to be part of such a clever group of Frauen and Herren who are so compassionate, witty, knowledgeable, interesting and bloody hilarious that make me hoot in the early morning hours on a grunk. When I found the cabal I was properly poor. The Corona circumstances had thrown me into a situation of despair. Thank god I had offers of help from lovely people (that I did not accept except from one friend who I have helped a lot during the last 10 years) but I never rattled the tip jar and never went sadfishing.
I was too poor myself to donate to any organisation during the last Sloppies but I vowed to give something as soon as I could.
I will contact my local food bank tomorrow and make a donation.

And now get to absolute fuck x

 

[HotesTilaire]

View attachment 930468

I really don’t get what it is with people and twitter. It’s not the early days of it any more. Where do people decide that what Jack Monroe needs is a message from Greta Thunberg, and the only missing link is them posting? They treat it like some kind of local radio phone-in.
Also, a nineteen year old doesn’t need the responsibility of cheering Mackie up.