Jack Monroe #230 Black-ish

[People-huv-tae-know]

Thank you for including the donation button again this year. I wish the Trussel Trust knew why they were getting so many donations tonight. I wanted to write 'you deserve something more useful than a year's supply of Del Monte tins that were donated for convenience rather than altruism or compassion' but didn't have the courage. I'm glad we do this. We all help each other here and beyond in our own tiny worlds <3

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

See when I talk about these places being full of housewives it’s basically:

Women know your place

Go fuck yourself. I have a job, a professional one thanks. I don’t see why anyone should be able to be able to say anything they want online without being questioned. Why is that okay?

I would argue that being a housewife is a job too. Children require a lot care and time. Some housewives also work from home on a small scale (arts, crafts, mlm but don't earn enough for tax) or are unpaid carers for disabled children or other relatives. Being a house wife is not something to be ashamed of but it needs better support and some more respect. Also awareness that men can be househusbands too if the wife/partner wants to work.

Eta just wanted to clarify that I do agree women should not be pigeon holed into the role of housewife but many women to this day (globally) are still primary care givers and providers of food and clean homes. It's a big responsibility and should not be overlooked especially when you consider all this work and care is given freely. Society and the media constantly look down on that role and equate it with laziness which wholly unfair and untrue.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Do you think she's forgotten that she was out and about and on a train the other day.

 

[Ellabella]

I cannot stand the way she presents, in a "ta da" way, her revolting aberrations with such aplomb. How on god's earth can she think that sandwich looks or tastes good?

 

[Pocahontas]

Well done @Switchstreetz what an amazing effort.
Please accept

Spoiler: these

as a token of appreciation and also

Spoiler: this

sent begrudgingly from Jack, sourced from her own personal Christmas stash. Brava.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Thankspaceyou so much, Dear @Switchstreetz, and the whole cabal who make these threads the funniest place to be. Comedy? Completed it, mate!

I wore bright clothes to the awards to signal my friends that something is off and I am really depressed since I always wear black. I was also late for maximum attention seeking.

I am genuinely humbled to be part of such a clever group of Frauen and Herren who are so compassionate, witty, knowledgeable, interesting and bloody hilarious that make me hoot in the early morning hours on a grunk. When I found the cabal I was properly poor. The Corona circumstances had thrown me into a situation of despair. Thank god I had offers of help from lovely people (that I did not accept except from one friend who I have helped a lot during the last 10 years) but I never rattled the tip jar and never went sadfishing.
I was too poor myself to donate to any organisation during the last Sloppies but I vowed to give something as soon as I could.
I will contact my local food bank tomorrow and make a donation.

And now get to absolute fuck x

You’re so lovely Scammy S. What you said about being able to donate this year reminded me of what I said last year, and I’m going to quote myself like an absolute prick -

“there’s been times when I couldn’t afford to donate to any causes, what I’ve donated today isn’t much, but I know that the fact that I’m able to donate anything is a privilege in itself.”

Because no-one should feel bad if they can’t donate, and it doesn’t take away from what @Switchstreetz has done in being so thoughtful and helping us help a cause we all care about.

On a lighter note, the Eye Of Sauron award made me realise, us ninnies probably talk about the Eye Of Sauron the most out of anyone on the internet, second only to people actually talking about Lord Of The Rings!

Sounds like I need to make sure my hands are insta ready, don't worry dear heart, I already know what to request at the nail salon!

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Edit: oh my god... can slopbot officiate the wedding

Sorry for the double post but, I just heard the voice of Slopbot singing…

you. are. now. both. marrieeed.
you have said the vow
you may kiss the fraauu

 

[Alansbigplate]

View attachment 928892View attachment 928893

Spoiled her ballot spoiled her ballot

Two things. First. That is not prune butter. It is a prune mashed in a bit of butter.. Second I don't think Jack knows what a pat of butter is.

Has she got some butter now fuck me I’ve been away a long while

 

[Boyo]

Can you imagine a restaurant with Jack at the helm?! It would open days late, everyone would be left waiting around for her to show up, the food - doesn't even need mentioning, then two days later she'd never speak of it again and it would cease to exist! Just lonely little squig voices tweeting into the abyss "Jack, is your restaurant open? I tried to book but there's no answer..."

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

@Switchstreetz Forgive me, I was late because I had to eat two bags of opal fruits on a train. Your work is outstanding! I'm giving you a 100% pay rise, your own corner office with a Chesterfield swivel chair and an unlimited number of ring binders.

 

[Falkor]

Trifle Defender about 10 minutes after the Sloppies went up.

Switchstreetz, an amazing job, as always!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack has managed a full year without deleting her Twitter history

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

1.What is white bread with a hint of sourdough?

2.prune butter with fish?

3. Bacon and black pudding immediately after pushing the vegan book?

4. Fish egg crumble?

(Too slow on all accounts. Must. Try. Harder)

 

[Boyo]

I just saw this on Instagram. Thought it was appropriate given our Jackie thinks the tattoos make her edgy and unemployable.

In other news, we are now less than a week before the big day. Where are all the promised-for goodies? With Felicity on the front of the Guardian with her trifle, I am beginning to feel a bit itchy for our smol pixie.

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FTFY. YW.

 

[EddieBeds]

Those unpeeled carrots look dry. You can see the skin peeling away in disgust.
View attachment 927700

The yorkie is screaming

 

[Pocahontas]

I’m not sure I like speculation on Christmas powder. Can we get back to talking about slop and off black clothes? I think it would be a better idea?

Might be a good idea. There’s no ‘proof’ apart from circumstantial speculation and we can’t take a gossipy post on Mumsnet as truth. At least when we talk about stuff here it’s as a reaction to things / ‘food’ that Jack herself has tweeted or historical things she has said or written.

 

[blurstoftimes]

A Christmas treat for the cabal: the infamous gorgonzola semifreddo that Jack STILL brings up, almost 7 years later, to prove her gourmet credentials.

View attachment 928714

(yes there is a powdery white substance sprinkled on top, but I'm almost certain it's cheese. Or possibly dandruff.)

gorgonzola semifreddo with desiccated olive and grape Jack is one of my favourite Jacks

 

[Raver_Bear]

I am drunk on Prosecco catching up.
Let me get this straight.. Jack tweets about her ‘amazing’ vegan cookbook (*cough* it’s crap *cough*) then tweets the most un-vegan dish she can think of?
And I’m sorry but wtf is ‘slightly sourdough’ of whatever it is she has said?
I think Jack, it is in fact YOU that is the SOUR dough.


sorry I’m a bit tipsy and I can’t think of a better insult.

 

[Formal Chicken]

I will be wearing my present from slopbot, thank (space) you

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

No cod roe or black pudding to hand?

Unfortunately the bottle of Jamesons took up my entire £20 weekly shopping budget so my husband shall be going without butter in the run-up to Christmas, let alone congealed blood. So in January when I’m wailing “he LEFT” we’ll know why.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I just saw this on Instagram. Thought it was appropriate given our Jackie thinks the tattoos make her edgy and unemployable.

In other news, we are now less than a week before the big day. Where are all the promised-for goodies? With Felicity on the front of the Guardian with her trifle, I am beginning to feel a bit itchy for our smol pixie.