Jack Monroe #230 Black-ish

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Congratulations to our favourite Tax Man avatar @Flash123 for the winning title, your prize? Well it’s not filed accounts, that’s for sure. Take your pick from this pile of delightfully home-dyed clothes which were previously stained and unwearable and now are...oh.

Second prize to @Boyo for “dyethagoras” nommed by er me.
This thread got off to a chaotic start being started twice with two different titles. What are we on?

Who’s up for a recap? Nobody, the light has gone from our eyes and everything is depressing. Why?

1. Jack is very down and it’s making for uncomfortable viewing
2. To hammer home how bad things are Jack dyed £800 worth of clothes black and will only wear black from now on
3. There has been a LOT of timeline-squashing. What brings you joy? What’s your favourite, red lemonade or brown?
4. Oh 💩 she got a terrified looking kitten Whose name is a portmanteau of “mithering ninny” this is the best animal-named-after-the-canal since Frau Viv Squiggle the sheep
5. Not so much breadcrumbing as chucking whole bags of kingsmill, there’s a third person staying over.
6. Jack claimed not to know what Fifteens are, so she did
7. Only one more sleep until the 2nd annual Sloppies eeeeeek
8. Jack Monroes network bandwidth has been cut off apparently, no WiFi for months!
9. Jack’s been out on a train and found a new insult “maskhole” which she’s trying to make happen. It probably won’t happen because it means the opposite of what she thinks it means

Lads, lads can you write “nominate” when you’re nominating a thread title, this makes it easier to search the thread to see whose won
 
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I hope the dress code for the sloppies is going to be 50 shades of sludge.
 
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To hammer home how bad things are Jack dyed £800 worth of clothes black and will only wear black from now on
As ever, related song:



Although it sounds infinitely more sincere from Johnny Cash (although in reality it started because it was cheaper to buy black suits for the whole band)
 
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Putting my Pollyanna hat on the fact that I’m almost certainly covid positive and therefore will be isolating on my own throughout Christmas, missing my Mum’s 70th and doing this all on my own time as I finish work today, at least I’ll be able to view the Sloppies live! All worth it.

edit to say fabulous recap @HotesTilaire and mention of the word furlough makes me wonder how Caroline is doing, and worry that I can’t even remember why we know she has hands.
 
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Putting my Pollyanna hat on the fact that I’m almost certainly covid positive and therefore will be isolating on my own throughout Christmas, missing my Mum’s 70th and doing this all on my own time as I finish work today, at least I’ll be able to view the Sloppies live! All worth it.
Bless, we will all be here with you ♥

I wonder what Jack was supposed to be putting out this month? Surely a bit late in the day now, unless she's going to be typical Jack, 2 weeks behind everything else.
 
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*whispers* maybe it is true. It would explain why her pretend alcohol addiction exists. It could explain everything. I hope she really is getting help.

Disclaimer: just a bored housewife speculating, your honour.
 
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Putting my Pollyanna hat on the fact that I’m almost certainly covid positive and therefore will be isolating on my own throughout Christmas, missing my Mum’s 70th and doing this all on my own time as I finish work today, at least I’ll be able to view the Sloppies live! All worth it.

edit to say fabulous recap @HotesTilaire and mention of the word furlough makes me wonder how Caroline is doing, and worry that I can’t even remember why we know she has hands.
Bizarrely enough I was wondering about her recently. She’s not been mentioned since furlough ended
 
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I'm amazed the comments haven't been zapped. Would also like to know if the original poster's source can back their claims. If its true I would assume it was during or exacerbated by the Allegra years.
 
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SHE LEFT.
Hard agree, but all the puffing from jack about how she personally was supporting her and wouldn’t bin her off etc 🥱
a nice little job involving pictures, frames and trips to the post office going
 
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