I think it’s lingreenie
Jack Monroe #222 Thank you is two words
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Watching her cook on tv is a similar vibe to a nativity performed by 6 year olds. You stick a rictus grin on, and remind yourself to pencil in the people for next time.
Of course not you mithering ninny! How on earth would someone get that impression from all the twitter photos of packing boxes in the dining room! I have pre-Prepared this essay in my phone to post any minute now!
Ah, cheers @Lanie. I didn’t realise it was the lingreenie clip. Too sidetracked by the overall awfulness.
Time for a quick trip down horrifying-memory lane.
Lard. Lardy, lardy lard.
This bull of hers is my granola. How's she saying this when we've got people like Grayson Perry, Eddie Izzard, Paul O' Grady, and good old Sue Perkins on our TVs and have done for years?"Too tattooed" for TV.
"Too Essex?" Didn't they do a show literally about Essex. Like, The Only Way is Essex
"Not polished enough" oh I think they mean "tit at reading the autocue"
"Too masculine"? But look Russell at my big boobs & hip pop!!!!
Brb calling an electrician immediately. You're right though. I was lucky enough to buy my own house fairly young (i'm northern) and I thought 'tit this is gonna be great I can spend all that money I would have spent on rent on booze and drugs and women!'. Took the boiler shitting its pants to make me realise that actually I should have been saving. It's a nightmare to keep on top of especially if you're not so great at organisation or remembering things or generally functioning.I honestly don't know what she imagines owning her own home would actually entail. Owning a home doesn't mean you never spend another penny. Quite the opposite often - something goes in a rented house, you ring the LL or agent, and it gets sorted. Something goes in your owned home and it's potentially a huge financial problem.
As we were leaving our house in the UK, an electrician came to do an annual check. Turns out, the entire circuit board was basically super close to catching on fire (there were scorch marks on it) and the whole house needed rewiring and a new board fitting. He made a quick, very stern, call to our agent, and it was sorted. Not many people would be able to quickly stump up that kind of money for an urgent job like that, especially Jack with her frivolous spending habits.
Mind maybe I'm underselling myself here because at least the place is insured.
She doesn’t get much television work these days because it’s a known fact among production companies that she spends far too long looking at the ceiling lights.
The person mentioned in the first tweet (as suggestion for 'head judge' of this TV programme which Jack has suddenly made all about her) has studiously ignored Jack's contributions to the thread. No response, no likes. She has. however, liked this tweet ....
Yes, That Man is famously Extremely Un-Essex, hiding his accent under a bushel to achieve his success.
gob. The only ones she’s right about are “too weird” and “not polished enough”. You’re weird because your eternal self regard means you lack the will or ability to interact properly with others, and you’re so arrogant that you don’t practice and hence everything is a scraggy shitshow.
But sure, it’s the tattoos and the affected coarseness from a decidedly middle class girl that preclude you from more TV, Jack.
ETA before you get too excited, I'm fairly sure that tweet's not talking about Jack specifically, I just thought it was interesting.
She can’t let it go. Huge chip on her shoulder about the hetero white blokes with families. (Miguel doesn’t always get the gigs - he put a story up not long ago about being replaced for a telly programme).A Friday night chaos what fun.
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Loving how Jack is too masculine for TV. Give me a break. Reckon she saw Heather in the sparkly suit (Heather is on our list btw) and decided DIVA had done one on her and has taken the hump.
She thinks that all cooks on TV look and sound like Mary and Delia did circa 1994 (when she was 6). Jack, look around you. Look on SM. What with Zoe Adjonyoh to Yottam and John Waite, the diversity is much better than it used to be.
(big hint with Miguel- let it go, he has that gig now. Just be pet. Just be
).
There’s always a Tweet for every occasion - this one’s from Valentine’s Day (how
)Attachments
She reminds me of people I know in the "art world"...They are billed as the next big thing, have a sellout show amidst a flurry of publicity then they assume that they are some kind of genius.
They start churning out substandard paintings thinking that their name alone is enough to flog them.
Then interest wanes, cos they've taken the piss out of their clients.
Jack thinks she's the Banksy/Picasso of the celeb cooking world ...
They start churning out substandard paintings thinking that their name alone is enough to flog them.
Then interest wanes, cos they've taken the piss out of their clients.
Jack thinks she's the Banksy/Picasso of the celeb cooking world ...
But she isn’t vegan and doesn’t eat low budget (£10 fish cans, £40 cheese ) so…She can’t let it go. Huge chip on her shoulder about the hetero white blokes with families. (Miguel doesn’t always get the gigs - he put a story up not long ago about being replaced for a telly programme).
There’s always a Tweet for every occasion - this one’s from Valentine’s Day (how
God the lack of self-awareness is staggering. She really relies on people taking her at face value. It must be exhausting being this performatively angry 24/7.She can’t let it go. Huge chip on her shoulder about the hetero white blokes with families. (Miguel doesn’t always get the gigs - he put a story up not long ago about being replaced for a telly programme).
There’s always a Tweet for every occasion - this one’s from Valentine’s Day (how
Also she'd have made a far more incisive point re: the Elphicke thing if she'd just posted the updated 'how it started/how it's going' image because I saw that and thought 'lol fair play' and then saw the reams of luke-warm takes below it and could physically feel my brain try switch gears to empathise with him instead of agree with Jack.
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It may also be that she is tit at it
Comments from the DM article @Django linked.
I think Jack Monroe: 'grubby looking' is more than enough for a thread title
We had this happen. Came home to an odd burning plastic smell, called a mate who’s an electrician and when he checked we’d had a small fire on the consumer board. When he tried to look at fixing it, he said the wiring was so old that the plastic sheathing was cracking so we had to have a complete rewiring. Thick end of £4k. Not to mention the mess from pulled up carpets/floorboards, channels in the walls, etc. She. Has. No. bleeping. Clue.I honestly don't know what she imagines owning her own home would actually entail. Owning a home doesn't mean you never spend another penny. Quite the opposite often - something goes in a rented house, you ring the LL or agent, and it gets sorted. Something goes in your owned home and it's potentially a huge financial problem.
As we were leaving our house in the UK, an electrician came to do an annual check. Turns out, the entire circuit board was basically super close to catching on fire (there were scorch marks on it
That last one - "I'd rather eat my own hair" - little do they know Jack actually has a plan for repurposing human hair. Lol I can't WAIT for this new book!
The chef's who do vegan stuff have not claimed to be any percentage of vegan but they do have a good knowledge of what vegan foods are seasonally available and go well together. That's my take on it. She just bitter that she isn't getting recognised for her mediocre work.She can’t let it go. Huge chip on her shoulder about the hetero white blokes with families. (Miguel doesn’t always get the gigs - he put a story up not long ago about being replaced for a telly programme).
There’s always a Tweet for every occasion - this one’s from Valentine’s Day (how
I've never seen a chef get flustered in a show they always have most their stuff prepped either by them or a show runner. With maybe something like an onion or the main part of the dish only needing to be chopped and prepped live. The rest is all measured into little bowls and ready to be added.
This is how most chef's work in a busy kitchen. They spend time before service prepping the fiddly bits so they can focus on the main part of their dish.
It would be like the time Jack was collaborating on recipe development with Nandos or somewhere.
I mean even those of us mere plebs who only watch tv understand that you need to face the camera and have all the ingredients prepped, how the heck has this bypassed Jack - who has been on the telly a few times, and in studios to “aaaaahhhh bwight lite” like some Victorian urchin.
I reckon the stolen tv pitch was “a show about cooking. I’ll be the cook”
I reckon the stolen tv pitch was “a show about cooking. I’ll be the cook”
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